Can't eat at people's home or what they bring that they cooked at home...

[Tinydance]

Every time I order from Uber Eats, Menulog, etc, the bag is usually stapled or sealed with a stick on seal so that nobody can touch it. They do it so the driver doesn't touch the food. If the bag had been opened and seal removed that means the driver touched it. I don't remember that ever happening though.

[boltnrun]

42 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Every time I order from Uber Eats, Menulog, etc, the bag is usually stapled or sealed with a stick on seal so that nobody can touch it. They do it so the driver doesn't touch the food. If the bag had been opened and seal removed that means the driver touched it. I don't remember that ever happening though.

To me either.  Even pizza boxes have that seal.

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Every time I order from Uber Eats, Menulog, etc, the bag is usually stapled or sealed with a stick on seal so that nobody can touch it. They do it so the driver doesn't touch the food. If the bag had been opened and seal removed that means the driver touched it. I don't remember that ever happening though.

The bag I received that day was not sealed because if it was I wouldn't have opened it -there was a receipt stapled to the outside of the bag with the restaurant name.  Here I think they recently implemented that "sealed" requirement.  Good!

[Wiseman2]

Food is getting increasingly disgusting. Watch "super size me". . 

To camouflage poor quality food increading amounts of fat sugar salt and excessive spices are used.

The gastrointestinal aisles at pharmacies has grown exponentially. There's even ads for stuff so people can supposedly enjoy foods that are literally burning holes in their stomachs.

So it's simple to be diplomatic at work,just say you're on a special diet. You don't have to eat other people's cooking if you don't want to.   

It's wiser now more than ever to be aware and careful of what you eat.

 

[Batya33]

I personally was always careful when I brought food into work to share with coworkers. I limited it to unopened packages of crackers or cookies (meaning if I purchased extra or too much - not to contribute to a potluck or when asked -if asked it depended on what I was asked for but I never brought in homemade/home cooked food), wrapped candy to add to our office candy bowl, etc. 

We had a potluck holiday party at Christmas time. It was a buffet.  I signed up to bring a cake. I would buy a cake at the bakery at my grocery store fully sealed/covered within the day or so before -so the cake was totally fresh and yummy- and place it on the table.

  I never ate from the buffet which was all potluck and no one ever said a thing -I simply sat with coworkers at one of the tables and would take something that was wrapped and often take dessert in the same way and have a beverage.  I never commented on what others were eating either.  It was all good.  

I used to help at my place of worship prepare buffet meals -there was only one employed food service worker. We wore gloves and washed hands often and used clean utensils to prepare the food.  Still I never liked that procedure because I feel that trained catering staff likely know more about safe food prep. I tried to be as safe as possible.  So did my fellow volunteers but I didn't closely observe, either.

[Tinydance]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Food is getting increasingly disgusting. Watch "super size me". . 

To camouflage poor quality food increading amounts of fat sugar salt and excessive spices are used.

The gastrointestinal aisles at pharmacies has grown exponentially. There's even ads for stuff so people can supposedly enjoy foods that are literally burning holes in their stomachs.

So it's simple to be diplomatic at work,just say you're on a special diet. You don't have to eat other people's cooking if you don't want to.   

It's wiser now more than ever to be aware and careful of what you eat.

 

Supersize Me is about McDonald's! It's a fatty fast food chain lol Of course it's not healthy.

[Tinydance]

I think everyone has their quirks. I sort of see quirks as more like habits or personal preferences though. Usually they don't affect the person in a negative way, or not too much. And doesn't affect anyone around them much. Some quirks can be worse. Like for example how my old housemate used to need to have the TV on 24/7. Most of the time she wasn't even watching it. If I turned it off she became uncomfortable and was like: "It's SO quiet here" and put the TV back on. Needless to say she was wasting a lot of electricity lol

I guess when we talk about someone potentially having mental health struggles or a disorder, that's when the person's life is being negatively affected by it and they also don't react the same to things the same as your average person.

For example, if someone went into a public toilet and it was really dirty. If the person felt uncomfortable and washed their hands ten times. However if they just went to a friend's house which looked perfectly clean and they washed their hands ten times, that's different.

Personally I don't feel disgusted by anything related to food. I'm OK at cooking but I'm not that great. So I love to try food other people made. Especially if they're from another culture and they made something from their cuisine. I'm also very outgoing so I love going out to dinner and trying different meals and other countries' foods. I trust my friends that cooked the food that they're clean people who washed the food and cooked it properly. If for example they cooked meat, unless the meat was rotten, it's been cooked so bacteria is killed by heat. Restaurants have to follow particular food preparation standards and they do get checked by the appropriate authorities by that. 

I understand maybe sometimes if you go to a friend's place and it's messy or dirty, you might think their cooking is unhygienic too. But most people's place is clean. 

I can't imagine living my life where I never get to try anything apart from only things I cooked myself. And don't get to discover any new dishes or ways to prepare meals. 

Also OP mentioned even watching cooking on TV is disgusting. Usually people that cook on TV are actually a professional chef like Jamie Oliver. So obviously they are extremely experienced in cooking and food hygiene. Not only is it their job, but they're so good at it that they actually became a celebrity!

 

[Batya33]

The bacteria is not always killed by heat.  If a raw chicken is bad it's bad.  Also there can be cross contamination if the same cutting board is used, same utensils to prepare a cold side dish like a salad.  Or if the cooked meat is left out too long (and also cooked rice is a real culprit -my friend and her family got awful food poisoning by leaving rice out for a few hours).

I'm very outgoing and don't feel I have to consume food or beverages (like alcohol -some feel that you have to be social and drink with them) to show that I am interested in other countries and cultures.  But of course I do and have. In portugal this summer we went to a very small very casual restaurant where they made us this huge homemade soup native to the culture and it was -delicious! We felt like we were eating in someone's home in a good way!

I used to go to all holiday dinners for years at friends nearby.  One year we ate outside.  Flies were landing on various of the foods.  I therefore pretended to eat and served my son carefully from what was still ok. Sorry -I wasn't going to risk illness to be part of the eating.  I was really discreet about it.  

I get frustrated when people have wrong notions about food safety like refrigerating bad food will somehow kill bacteria or washing hands too quickly after handling raw meat.  Or leaving food out way too long.  Some people are fine with it because their immune systems can handle of course.  

One time I picked up my son from a party- she gave him an unopened non-perishable chocolate mil box to take home.  He also was holding an open one which he discarded before getting in the car.  I noticed the unopened one was expired- I'm sure she didn't check. Not upset with her.  The problem was my son wasn't sure if the one he drank was also expired or from a different 6-pack.  He ended up fine.  It's stuff like that that gives me pause.  I always check expiration dates.  Especially on milk

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Watch "super size me". . 

Very misleading documentary. I hate McDonalds. Even when I was a teen and we had McDonalds in my country, I hated those tiny no good burgers where they use processed meat and make them in some freakin sunlight lamp. Its disgusting and cant be good for you. But that guy in documentary was full of C.

The proof is in the puding. Nobody has been able to replicate his results. 

Quote

Meanwhile, researchers from the Making Sure Movies Aren't Stupid department of Sweden's University of Linkoping tried to replicate Spurlock's experiment by tasking healthy college students with the challenge of eating 6,000 calories of fast food per day, inadvertently also answering the question "What's the easiest way to get guinea pigs ever?" At the end of the 30 days, the students had none of the liver or cholesterol troubles Spurlock reported. According to the guy in charge of the experiment (aka an actual scientist, not the guy who created MTV's I Bet You Will), the students' metabolism was able to adapt to the extra amount of food they were eating. They did feel more tired, but none of them experienced the mood swings and depression Spurlock claimed to have endured.

Anyway, OP, I understand the concern. My friend ate at fast food place few years ago. And found a cockroach leg in his meat. So yes, there is always a chance that something prepared by someone else, is not exactly up to health standards. But, if you look at like that, if you are not raising food yourself(meaning farm with animals for meat and garden for vegetables), all you would buy at stores could also be with questionable quality. Nothing really guarantees health standard. Even better restaurants. 

[Lambert]

On 10/27/2022 at 4:35 PM, Charlie1984 said:

Any advise on how to go about this? I really can't stomach it. I shouldn't have to feel this way but I do and I need help

Well if you're not willing to work to overcome this condition, then you have to do as you have been. 

Only you can work on you  Why are you so grossed out?

There's definitely people at work, just by working with them I don't trust their hygiene. So I wouldn't eat something they made. 

And you may not believe this or it may not help you, but if you ever saw the workings of a restaurant you probably wouldn't want to eat there either. 

I would probably just tell people thank you but I have a lot of food allergies and don't risk eating things I haven't cooked. be as gracious as you can.

Realise some people will reject you and take offense. and in some ways they are right.  this is extreme behavior and indicates some problem. If you know me and care for me, but my homemade chocolate cookies make you gag, then maybe you make me gag, too. 

[boltnrun]

5 minutes ago, Lambert said:

And you may not believe this or it may not help you, but if you ever saw the workings of a restaurant you probably wouldn't want to eat there either. 

This is absolutely true.  The food inspectors don't live at the restaurants.  They inspect them once every so often and if all looks good the restaurant gets their "A" grade.  I used to work in food service and we didn't deliberately set out to violate codes but we got super busy so we weren't always as careful as we should have been.  We weren't even required to wear gloves!

But I figure I could drive myself insane if I focused on that.  I just eat the food and most of the time everything is fine.  I got food poisoned from Burger King one time and holy cow was I sick!  But I've never gotten sick from something a coworker made.

OP hasn't come back so I wonder if our input has been at all helpful.

[Tinydance]

43 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

This is absolutely true.  The food inspectors don't live at the restaurants.  They inspect them once every so often and if all looks good the restaurant gets their "A" grade.  I used to work in food service and we didn't deliberately set out to violate codes but we got super busy so we weren't always as careful as we should have been.  We weren't even required to wear gloves!

But I figure I could drive myself insane if I focused on that.  I just eat the food and most of the time everything is fine.  I got food poisoned from Burger King one time and holy cow was I sick!  But I've never gotten sick from something a coworker made.

OP hasn't come back so I wonder if our input has been at all helpful.

Yes but we have to eat something and somewhere. Can't just live our whole life in fear.

[Tinydance]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

The bacteria is not always killed by heat.  If a raw chicken is bad it's bad.  Also there can be cross contamination if the same cutting board is used, same utensils to prepare a cold side dish like a salad.  Or if the cooked meat is left out too long (and also cooked rice is a real culprit -my friend and her family got awful food poisoning by leaving rice out for a few hours).

I'm very outgoing and don't feel I have to consume food or beverages (like alcohol -some feel that you have to be social and drink with them) to show that I am interested in other countries and cultures.  But of course I do and have. In portugal this summer we went to a very small very casual restaurant where they made us this huge homemade soup native to the culture and it was -delicious! We felt like we were eating in someone's home in a good way!

I used to go to all holiday dinners for years at friends nearby.  One year we ate outside.  Flies were landing on various of the foods.  I therefore pretended to eat and served my son carefully from what was still ok. Sorry -I wasn't going to risk illness to be part of the eating.  I was really discreet about it.  

I get frustrated when people have wrong notions about food safety like refrigerating bad food will somehow kill bacteria or washing hands too quickly after handling raw meat.  Or leaving food out way too long.  Some people are fine with it because their immune systems can handle of course.  

One time I picked up my son from a party- she gave him an unopened non-perishable chocolate mil box to take home.  He also was holding an open one which he discarded before getting in the car.  I noticed the unopened one was expired- I'm sure she didn't check. Not upset with her.  The problem was my son wasn't sure if the one he drank was also expired or from a different 6-pack.  He ended up fine.  It's stuff like that that gives me pause.  I always check expiration dates.  Especially on milk

Well I did actually mean if the meat was not rotten and it was also cooked, it should be fine. I understand that poor hygiene is a thing but the way I see it, there are germs everywhere. Just because we don't see them doesn't mean they're not all around us. I hope that doesn't make OP feel worse lol

For example, if you don't have a car and catch the train, you're touching everything in the train. And before COVID most people didn't carry hand sanitiser with them. Also you might get introduced to a new person and they shake your hand. You don't know where that hand has been! Lol

And sometimes maybe we might get food poisoning but I'm pretty sure it's very rare. I have a weak immune system because I always got sick as a child and even often as an adult with colds and flu. I also have asthma and hayfever and some pet allergies. Still I've only had gastro or food poisoning just a few times in my whole life probably.

The majority of food should be safe to eat and only occasionally it's not. In particular in Western countries.

[Batya33]

10 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well I did actually mean if the meat was not rotten and it was also cooked, it should be fine. I understand that poor hygiene is a thing but the way I see it, there are germs everywhere. Just because we don't see them doesn't mean they're not all around us. I hope that doesn't make OP feel worse lol

For example, if you don't have a car and catch the train, you're touching everything in the train. And before COVID most people didn't carry hand sanitiser with them. Also you might get introduced to a new person and they shake your hand. You don't know where that hand has been! Lol

And sometimes maybe we might get food poisoning but I'm pretty sure it's very rare. I have a weak immune system because I always got sick as a child and even often as an adult with colds and flu. I also have asthma and hayfever and some pet allergies. Still I've only had gastro or food poisoning just a few times in my whole life probably.

The majority of food should be safe to eat and only occasionally it's not. In particular in Western countries.

Familiar with the slippery slope arguments. Life is dirty and germs are everywhere. People have different standards and I respect yours!

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Tinydance said:

Yes but we have to eat something and somewhere. Can't just live our whole life in fear.

That's what I was saying.  

We can't live in a plastic bubble.  Yes, we can take care to practice good personal hygiene and do things to minimize risk, but to refuse to eat out and to refuse to eat anything we personally didn't cook is missing out, IMO.

I find it interesting that the OP doesn't mind eating in restaurants.  I presume that's because restaurants are regulated and home kitchens are not.

I wish the OP would come back and tell us if our back and forth-ing is helpful!

[Tinydance]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

That's what I was saying.  

We can't live in a plastic bubble.  Yes, we can take care to practice good personal hygiene and do things to minimize risk, but to refuse to eat out and to refuse to eat anything we personally didn't cook is missing out, IMO.

I find it interesting that the OP doesn't mind eating in restaurants.  I presume that's because restaurants are regulated and home kitchens are not.

I wish the OP would come back and tell us if our back and forth-ing is helpful!

Yes it's hard not to get OP's feedback! I guess everyone is different in terms of attitudes about food. I know some people are picky eaters but I usually found it's just because they don't like a lot of food. I haven't really met anyone before who was "scared" of eating food other people cooked. Of course people can feel scared about anything. It's the same as having a fear of spiders, birds, the dark, etc.

[Batya33]

42 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Yes it's hard not to get OP's feedback! I guess everyone is different in terms of attitudes about food. I know some people are picky eaters but I usually found it's just because they don't like a lot of food. I haven't really met anyone before who was "scared" of eating food other people cooked. Of course people can feel scared about anything. It's the same as having a fear of spiders, birds, the dark, etc.

I’ve met many. I had emetophobia for many years so that also affected my comfort levels about foods and food preparation.  It’s mostly abated now but my sensitive stomach - not pickiness - means I need to be careful. Also when I was pregnant having to ask more questions about food prep to avoid alcohol as well as soft cheeses efc. 

[Charlie1984]

I am here and I have read through everyone’s comments and am totally in awe of the deep dive everyone has done into my issue. You all are a very comprehensive bunch and I am very grateful. 
 

I stand corrected and vow to never take the food only to throw it away. Those who addressed that, I took it to heart and you’re absolutely right. Unnecessary action and it it’s even disrespectful to the person who made it and the person who didn’t end up getting any when it was done.

I don’t want to say it’s the worst issue to have but I notice it peaking its head more and more. I think rather than seek out help automatically, id like to just take the “no, thank you” approach first and see how it goes over. I think I have been too nervous over hurting feelings to say that so I really don’t recall doing that. Dumb but true.

I don’t know if I mentioned this in my original post but it not so much of an issue when my husband is around because he just slowly eats the food on my plate if we are in a setting that it would super off if I didn’t eat. I always end up feeling like a blessed woman when he does that. 
 

Thank everyone so much. 

 

 

 

[boltnrun]

"It looks great, thanks for offering. But I just ate a huge lunch/breakfast/dinner."

"Thanks for offering! It looks great. But I have breakfast/lunch/dinner plans."

"Wow, that looks amazing! But I have a special breakfast/lunch/dinner planned and I'm saving my appetite."

"Thanks for bringing me a plate, but (insert excuse from list above). I'd hate for it to go to waste so I have to decline. I'm sure it's amazing, though."

There are lots of ways to politely decline without inventing a food allergy, special diet or medical condition.

[Batya33]

40 minutes ago, Charlie1984 said:

I don’t know if I mentioned this in my original post but it not so much of an issue when my husband is around because he just slowly eats the food on my plate if we are in a setting that it would super off if I didn’t eat. I always end up feeling like a blessed woman when he does that. 

Oh yes a keeper for sure LOL.  On a related note, my son in the last few months now will deign to eat cut up apples which I serve on the side with his dinner.  But lately I notice that he'll furtively sneak them onto my husband's plate if the apples are "too sour" or "too" something.  My husband then eats them.  Sigh.

[Tinydance]

I think at work just bring your own lunch and if anyone offers food, just say: "Oh thanks so much but I made my own lunch and I just don't want it to go to waste". I don't think it's offensive to decline any food if you just smile and say things like: "Oh looks great thanks so much! But I'll have to pass". I think if you always say it with a smile and friendly tone, I don't actually see why people would feel offended. Maybe they'd be offended if you were grumpy and were like: "No!!" It's all in how you deliver it. Pity I don't know you coz I'd totally be up for eating all your food 😂

[1a1a]

The visual of your husband snacking on your unwanted plate of food made me chuckle 😄

[Alex39]

On 10/27/2022 at 4:35 PM, Charlie1984 said:

Hi,

For some of my life when I was a kid, I didn't give it a whole lot of thought when it came to eating food at someone's house or the dish they made at home and brought to a gathering. Slowing through my young adulthood, I found myself straying from this. I take issue to eating something that I can't assess the cleanliness of it or how it was made. But now well into my 30s, I find myself repulsed by eating at someone's home that isn't my own or eating something made elsewhere. It's getting to the point that even when I see someone cooking on TV I am grossed out by the thought of digging into their finished dish. I do eat a restaurants with no issues, well at restaurants with A ratings and look clean anyways. I find this is becoming an issue when a co-worker or friend says they intend to bring something for me to try. It's such an uncomfortable topic now and not sure how to go about it. I have gotten some, thrown it away and was petrified someone would catch on. I have faked stomach issues. I have lied and said I did get some. I have been direct about my issue, didn't seem to go off well. Any advise on how to go about this? I really can't stomach it. I shouldn't have to feel this way but I do and I need help. Thanks so much!

I'm the same. My mom actually instilled this in me as a child, that not everyone else is as clean as we are. I honestly hate eating others food, leftovers someone else touched, etc. I don't tell anyone my thoughts or issue and I don't really care what someone thinks about my behavior. I threw something away too. I just keep up the fake lies and try my best. If someone says they are bringing something, I will say I have an allergy, I'm not hungry, I'll take some home and say I'll try it later, or I simply show up with my own thing and eat that instead. Typically they don't notice. 

I simply bring something for me to eat at every single function, and I focus on it. 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Charlie1984 said:

, id like to just take the “no, thank you” approach first and see how it goes over. I think I have been too nervous over hurting feelings 

Yes. Try diplomacy and no thank you. If that doesn't work explain you're on a diet, ate already, whatever. You don't have to have any sort of deep-seated issues or whatever if you simply dislike eating other's homecooking. It's not a big deal.

[Blue_Skirt]

First try a simple “No, thank you” and say it with a smile.

If there are people who don’t take no for an answer and say, “but it’s home-made, it’s delicious!” you can answer: “I am sure you put a lot of effort in it, but no thank you” and again, you say it with a smile.

There are people who will continue to pressure you into trying their food, so you then you say “Listen, I once got very sick when someone brought home-made food and I ate from it, so I decided not to do that anymore and I prefer to eat my own food” and you continue to smile and you don’t engage in any further discussions.

The thing is if you say that you are on a special diet, there are these people who start asking questions about your diet. If you say you have allergies, they will say, but my daughter/son/mother/father-in-law have all kind of allergies and their stomach upsets easily, but they never have problems with this dish etc. etc. etc.

Stick to your 3-level answer approach and you will be fine. You never have to remember what answer you gave to a person, because it is always the same.

When I was in pre-school a child once brought tangerines for their birthday (I can’t even remember anymore whether it was a boy or a girl, I just remember the horrible tangerine, lol). The tangerine was kind of old and it tasted horrible. I can and will never eat tangerines again unless I checked them out in the store and bought them myself.

I can be grossed out by “office fridges” but I am mostly disgusted by office dishwashers and the mugs/dishes/glasses not coming out clean. In my former workplace we had a problem like that at some point of time. People used the quickest program at the lowest temperature. Well if things don’t come out clean. I would run the dishwasher again at the highest temperature and then they would say to me: “Blue_Skirt, we want to save water and energy” and I would just say that I prefer to eat from a clean dish and drink from a clean mug.