Married man telling another woman she is beautiful?

[Devor]

What do you think? Is it okay for a married man to tell another woman she is beautiful? Would most wives be upset if they found out their husband did this?

[smackie9]

uh hell ya. That's him hitting on her/flirting. Not respectful. 

[Batya33]

I wouldn't like it at all unless it was a very specific context - like someone I know well saying "you are a beautiful person or "you have a heart of gold" or a long time friend who is married joking around with "oh I'm sure you looked great as always" - it's contextual.  I don't like being told I am "beautiful" by a man I don't know well out of context - whether he is married or not -it would feel objectifying.  I would never tell a random man I think he is hot including because I am married.

[catfeeder]

I wouldn't think of it as a big deal by itself, but the context and my overall trust in him would be factors.

Not enough information.

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Devor said:

 Would most wives be upset if they found out their husband did this?

How long have you been married? How old is your husband? How do you know about this? Is it a co-worker, neighbor?

What's really the problem in your marriage? Do you think he's cheating?

 

[indea08]

Not enough information. Context matters in this case.

[Kwothe28]

Its an interesting question. I mean, if we are talking even about monogamy, that doesnt mean that the person has eyes only for its partner. So ofcourse one would always consider somebody else in the world beautiful. You shouldnt be attracted to that person or have agendas toward that person, but I think people can rate somebody else other then their partner as beautiful according to their beauty standards.

Telling it however? That is a murky water. Openly telling somebody else other then your partner how its beatiful can be construed in various ways. One and most common is that you are attracted toward that person. Which creates a problem even if you dont want that. Most wifes would be upset. That is why even if they ask if somebody else is more pretty answer is "No dear, you are 10 times more prettier then her!". 

[Cherylyn]

I think it's disrespectful just like I wouldn't tell another man he's handsome whether my husband was a witness or not.  Same with dating or relationships.  It's inconsiderate, rude and abnormal behavior.   There needs to be common sense integrity.  

I'd be upset.  Fortunately, this is a non-issue in my marriage.  🙂

[Batya33]

8 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

I think it's disrespectful just like I wouldn't tell another man he's handsome whether my husband was a witness or not.  Same with dating or relationships.  It's inconsiderate, rude and abnormal behavior.   There needs to be common sense integrity.  

I'd be upset.  Fortunately, this is a non-issue in my marriage.  🙂

I think in general there's more than enough focus on people's physical features and especially the really silly assumption that women want to be complimented by strangers on their physical features.  I try to be more specific in my compliments and less focused on physical features -so I might compliment a child's smile, or someone's fashion accessory or sneakers, or politeness/manners/thoughtfulness than some general comment about handsome or beautiful.  

[Andrina]

I would say it's the intent of the compliment and if the man would say it to the woman even if his wife is standing by his side. But even in those instances, the context and big picture is important, because there are men who will be jerks despite their wife's presence.

I can think of one instance where it was totally fine. I, and many of my co-workers, attended the funeral of a colleague. Afterwards, we socialized and we all hadn't seen a retired colleague for some time. My male colleague told her, "You get prettier and prettier every time I see you."

From knowing that male colleague and his nature, he wasn't flirting. He's a very positive person. He would've said it even if his wife (everyone knows he's happily married, and his wife is also our co-worker) was standing right next to him. I felt there was nothing inappropriate about it. 

[tattoobunnie]

My husband has never once told me another woman was beautiful.  He says I am all the time.

I have dated boys in the past who would tell him if another woman was hot...and we are definitely not married.  To sum it up...a man who is trying to get a rise or see your reaction, or find a way to excuse staring will tell you another woman is beautiful.  And this man is a BOY.

[Blue_Skirt]

This remembers me when my now ex boyfriend once said that <name of actress> was the most beautiful woman in the world and it came right from his heart. We were no together for very long and when he realized what he had said, he was all apologetic. And I was just laughing out loud, because I did not feel offended by that and I also thought that that actress was actually a beautiful woman.

But I would not have appreciated it if he would have told another woman (that we both knew in person and in my presence) she is beautiful.

[Cherylyn]

Everyone has the right to their opinion and free to think it.  The crux of the matter is exercising discretion.