Is my boyfriend a bad texter?

[Love]

I am in a new long-distance relationship with a man I really adore. We are not at the stage of calling each other just yet, but we text frequently. The issue I noticed with him is that he can be a bad texter at times. Sometimes he wont update or reply to my texts for 2-3 days with the excuse of different time zone or him being busy. I am not one to push or spam all day long, but I am also not good in expressing my feelings and how I want him to update me at least if he has plans for the rest of the day/week. Sometimes he would share pictures from his social media (I do not use social media) and I can see that he updates there daily. I get sad thinking he have time for that, but not to reply to me asking if he is doing okay. Is this normal, or is he just a really bad texter? Btw We are exclusive with each other and he seemed sincere and always replies fast whenever I text him, but half of the time he made me wait for a respond for more than 24 hours. 

[Wiseman2]

49 minutes ago, Love said:

 We are not at the stage of calling each other just yet, but we text frequently.  wont  reply to my texts for 2-3 days with the excuse of different time zone 

How did you meet? Why is it long distance? It sounds like a scammer, catfish or person in another relationship.

Anyone who contacts you and won't or can't meet is a red flag. Add to that won't talk or video chat.

Delete and block him. For all you know it's a Nigerian scammer or worse. Do not give out any personal information.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local single interested men in person.

You're not in a relationship, no less exclusive with someone you never met. 

Read up on cyber security and safety. Google "romance scams".

 

 

[MissCanuck]

Have you met this man in person?

It seems strange and backwards to me that you consider yourselves a couple yet you're not at the stage where you call each other. 

Anyway, no, I would not say it's normal that he goes days without replying to you. He does not take this relationship seriously. I'm sorry. I think you need to face reality that this guy is not really a boyfriend. 

[SooSad33]

 

How long have you been dating? 

If you are in a 'relationship', why do you not call & actually talk to each other? That's odd 😕 

There should not be a 'stage' for that... You are supposed to be involved with the guy.  Best way to communicate & understand each other properly is through actual voice.  Not this text stuff. 

 

[Kwothe28]

If he has time to answer quick sometimes or to update social media, but sometimes doesnt reply for days, he is not a "bad texter". He just wont text you. Is it because he just wont or has somebody other to text in meantime, that remains to be seen. That is the danger of LDR, its really easy to turn you off. And just gives his attention to somebody else. So, cut that fantasy before you get yourself hurt there.

[Wiseman2]

58 minutes ago, Love said:

I am in a new long-distance relationship with a man I really adore.

Also keep in mind that malware can be installed during your messages gaining access to your logins and keystrokes.  

Don't go down this path:

https://www.fbi.gov/scams-and-safety/common-scams-and-crimes/romance-scams

[Rose Mosse]

You are better off trusting your instincts here and if you haven't met him before, this person is a stranger. 

[Spawn]

in person it would be a different feeling, just meet up and be ready for any surprises, try to get a nice pair of adidas shoes just incase you feel like running 😉 ....this brand lasts long so will help save costs in future as well. Amazing feeling when we run from trouble and a nice pair of shoes really makes it special.

[Andrina]

Why choose the most difficult type of dating experience? IMO there is one of three reasons people choose LDRs if they don't start off locally due to work or college. The first type is a person who is so toxic or messed up, they've run out of local prospects who quickly dumped them. The second type is a scammer who gradually builds a connection in order to bilk money from their victim. The third is someone emotionally unsteady who fears the reality local dating entails.

None of those scenarios have a happy ending.

Try local dating. You can more quickly vette prospects and have the joy of actually getting together physically several times per week.

[catfeeder]

Probably not the best idea to consider yourself the girlfriend of a total stranger who you haven't even phoned, much less met. That assumes privileges in someone's life who doesn't even know you.

Let's assume that he's more interested in his real life than playing texties with a stranger. He might have bought into the whole GF BF thing for fun, but that doesn't mean that he's all that invested in whatever this is.

How about using dating apps to meet real life people for a quick coffee? You'll learn up front whether you share chemistry, and when not, you can next him to meet others until you find a good match. It's far more productive than living in your own head over a device.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

[Lambert]

Why are you giving exclusivity to a man you don't talk on the phone to and I assume you have not met? 

[reinventmyself]

The early stages is when we should be paying very close attention to differences and incompatibilities.  You need someone more consistent, and he is showing you he's not.  He's not a bad texter, he just doesn't need to communicate with you as much.   Does this meet your needs and when the newness wears off it the contact will likely shift even more.  Are you willing to invest more into this that isn't making you feel good today?

I won't touch the long distance, no phone calls, cyber relationship thing. . it's already been covered.

[Jamie425]

What does he do? Is he very busy? 24 hours isn't that long. But that doesn't mean you have to settle for less than you need. Tell him you need more and more meaningful texts, calls and messages. ,"I know you're busy but is two minutes out of your day to text me you love me, are thinking about me, maybe some heart emojis? Things like that keep me going.,"

If that doesn't move him...find a more caring, considerate man in closer proximity.