Why is my ex boyfriend mad at me for moving on from him, when he broke up with me???

[lucy]

My ex bf and I dated for a long time, for awhile it was on and off but then this year we got serious and made all these big plans, and we was really in love, he treated me like a princess, made me feel amazing, wanted to spoil me and vice versa. I loved him so dearly i wrote him this romantic love song dedicated to him and he loved it, he even wanted me to meet his mom. He got his mom's approval of me, she said i was a keeper. But then we broke up because of this big misunderstanding, he had thought I liked this other guy, but I didn't like the dude, but my ex was told something different by a friend of mines, so the whole thing became a big mess. i tried my hardest to clear up the misunderstanding but my ex bf refused to believe me. So then right after we broke up he and I still was acting like we was together even though we was suppose to be broke up, we stayed flirting and laughing and joking as if we didn't just break up. But then a week later into our breakup, he became cold and distant and wouldn't talk to me. He then start trying to blackmail me and saying all these cruel things to me. He kept trying to make me jealous and rubbing it in my face, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction so i reacted completely differently and that made him more madder, so then he blocked me for a day then the next dayn unblocked me and then kept playing this hot and cold game with me. one week he's all over me the next he's being rude to me. then he said on friday "oh i hate you" then kept yelling about how much he wants nothing to do with me. So then finally today i agree to let him go (because i kept trying to fight for our relationship) and i finally told him what he claimed he wanted to hear. BUT then four hours later i'm minding my business chilling texting a guy friend of mines, and the guy friend asks me if i want to date him, so i say yes because i'm single now, but then like 10 min into the convo with me and the guy friend, my ex spams me with these texts saying how the dude doesn't want me and how i'm stupid to want a rebound relationship. then my ex demands me to know why i want a rebound relationship, then gets mad when i tell him to go chase girls and leave who i date alone, and he gets all petty and rude and says i shouldn't get a rebound and how he thinks its funny that i'm upset and then he  calls me a hoe for wanting a rebound relationship when a week before he tried to make me jealous but now im actually moving on, im apprently being called a hoe for it??? and after that he blocks me, now i'm so confused when he wanted me to move on in the first place and also my ex has a big ego so he has a hard time admitting when he's hurting, like its so bad smh. but yeah can someone help please

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, lucy said:

 he gets all petty and rude and he  calls me a hoe

Sorry this happened. You need to delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. There's no reason to put up with verbal abuse.

[Rose Mosse]

46 minutes ago, lucy said:

My ex bf and I dated for a long time, for awhile it was on and off but then this year we got serious and made all these big plans, and we was really in love, he treated me like a princess, made me feel amazing, wanted to spoil me and vice versa. I loved him so dearly i wrote him this romantic love song dedicated to him and he loved it, he even wanted me to meet his mom. He got his mom's approval of me, she said i was a keeper. But then we broke up because of this big misunderstanding, he had thought I liked this other guy, but I didn't like the dude, but my ex was told something different by a friend of mines, so the whole thing became a big mess. i tried my hardest to clear up the misunderstanding but my ex bf refused to believe me. So then right after we broke up he and I still was acting like we was together even though we was suppose to be broke up, we stayed flirting and laughing and joking as if we didn't just break up. But then a week later into our breakup, he became cold and distant and wouldn't talk to me. He then start trying to blackmail me and saying all these cruel things to me. He kept trying to make me jealous and rubbing it in my face, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction so i reacted completely differently and that made him more madder, so then he blocked me for a day then the next dayn unblocked me and then kept playing this hot and cold game with me. one week he's all over me the next he's being rude to me. then he said on friday "oh i hate you" then kept yelling about how much he wants nothing to do with me. So then finally today i agree to let him go (because i kept trying to fight for our relationship) and i finally told him what he claimed he wanted to hear. BUT then four hours later i'm minding my business chilling texting a guy friend of mines, and the guy friend asks me if i want to date him, so i say yes because i'm single now, but then like 10 min into the convo with me and the guy friend, my ex spams me with these texts saying how the dude doesn't want me and how i'm stupid to want a rebound relationship. then my ex demands me to know why i want a rebound relationship, then gets mad when i tell him to go chase girls and leave who i date alone, and he gets all petty and rude and says i shouldn't get a rebound and how he thinks its funny that i'm upset and then he  calls me a hoe for wanting a rebound relationship when a week before he tried to make me jealous but now im actually moving on, im apprently being called a hoe for it??? and after that he blocks me, now i'm so confused when he wanted me to move on in the first place and also my ex has a big ego so he has a hard time admitting when he's hurting, like its so bad smh. but yeah can someone help please

Calling you names is wrong so don't internalize that or treat others the same way. You are free to date whomever you want.

Start distancing yourself from people who put you down, verbally abuse you or try to control you. It sounds like he is spiralling out of control and losing it. 

Also keep your dating life and private information away from him and exes in general. It's none of his business who you see or whom you have in your life, especially knowing what kind of person he is. You get to choose and navigate the types of people you wish to have in your life and the influences that play a big role. 

[DarkCh0c0]

Block him everywhere. Your ex never really valued you and he doesn't respect you. He chases you because he likes to feel in control (of you) and he likes to treat people like trash when he can get away with it. Time to put some boundaries here!

You are single and free to date whoever you want. It's none of his business anymore. Again, block him and his people everywhere.

[DarkCh0c0]

We had already given you advice in your recent post.

He just wants to feel he has some control over you as if you're his property. It's all for his ego. He doesn't care about you and just wants to sabotage your life for his pleasure.

Block this guy and cut contact with all his people already.

[lucy]

8 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

We had already given you advice in your recent post.

He just wants to feel he has some control over you as if you're his property. It's all for his ego. He doesn't care about you and just wants to sabotage your life for his pleasure.

Block this guy and cut contact with all his people already.

im asking because that answer doesn't help me at all, I need actual help like some advice on what to do moving forward because blocking doesn't stop him from blackmailing me 

[Kwothe28]

You already asked, there is no need for new thread. 

I think you are both young and immature. Hence that kind of behavior. Playing hot and cold games to make the other side jealous and not just going away. 

So you be more mature. If you want to date other people, cut off the ex and do just that. There is no need for him to know that you do this and that and for bad words and behavior. 

[Wiseman2]

22 minutes ago, lucy said:

blocking doesn't stop him from blackmailing me 

Block and delete him and ALL his people from ALL your social media, messaging apps, contact lists and devices. What do you mean by "blackmail"? Tell trusted adults what is going on. If he is bothering you in  person you need to file a restraining order.

[lucy]

18 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Block and delete him and ALL his people from ALL your social media, messaging apps, contact lists and devices. What do you mean by "blackmail"? Tell trusted adults what is going on. If he is bothering you in  person you need to file a restraining order.

What i mean by blackmail, i mean he has pictures and videos of me, that he threatens to use againist me to show people how horrible i am, thats what i mean, and hard to avoid him when we go to the same school.

[DarkCh0c0]

Block him anyways and refuse to be in contact with him. It doesn't matter if he has evidence. Your life will be eventually okay nonetheless. You are just caught up in the drama.

Confide into your parents about this if possible and they might talk to his parents and draw some boundaries as adults. Maybe also confide to the school supervisor/whoever is in charge of your division?

[SooSad33]

He is BAD for you!

He is nasty, rude, controlling and manipulating you.

YOU need to see this, in ways I'm sure you do.  He's full of head games and that, you do NOT do to someone.

He is VERY immature. Do NOT play these games with someone like him!  You two have broken up & gotten back together again, more than once.

The more you play his games, the more this all get blown out of proportion.  It goes on and on, he said, she said.

He is full of accusation and is doing the push & pull.

If anything, this will end up hurting you way too much - his attempts at bringing you down. You don't deserve it and he should not be doing it.

In order for this all to stop, YOU need to stop it.  Don't respond to him, you owe him NOTHING! ( his behaviour is very immature and eventually he'll end up making himself look like the idiot - but is not your problem) .

Do not respond to any more of his attempts to get you to react. 

So be done - all done now!

You do as you want. Is your life & your choices. Just be careful and don't just do things to try & get a reaction from him.  Move on and date only if you do feel okay & ready to do so. 

 

 

[reinventmyself]

46 minutes ago, lucy said:

What i mean by blackmail, i mean he has pictures and videos of me, that he threatens to use againist me to show people how horrible i am, thats what i mean, and hard to avoid him when we go to the same school.

Your real friends won't buy into his smear campaign. Which is nothing more than a threat at this point.  If they do buy into it, they aren't your friends to begin with.   People see through disgruntled ex's and their irrational behavior.

You go to the same school, assuming you are a minor? Tell your parents you are being harassed.

[boltnrun]

If you're underage he can be prosecuted for distributing child pornography if he sends or shares nude pics of you.

Lesson for the future...do not send nudes. 

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, lucy said:

What i mean by blackmail, i mean he has pictures and videos of me, that he threatens to use againist me to show people how horrible i am, thats what i mean, and hard to avoid him when we go to the same school.

This is difficult to prosecute but not impossible. Have you spoken to any adults about this?

[Kwothe28]

You could just say that if anything leaks you will report him to authorities. You have his threats so should be enough, Its illegal to distribute something like that without consent, especially if you are a minor. Might be enough to scare him.

[redsox22]

How old are you both?  He sounds immature.  I would consider this a bullet dodged.  Learn from this and don't send photos you don't want circulated on the internet or to people you know.