Looking like I will have to say my final goodbyes

[Seraphim]

20 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Now my friend is saying I should get the vet to prescribe pain medication. Yeah, dope her up so I don't have to feel sad. Pain medication won't cure her or make her healthy again.

I love my friend but he gives some of the worst advice.

I would tell him you don’t need the guilt trip right now and it is not right to keep a suffering animal alive to make us not have to feel sadness. 

[boltnrun]

5 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I would tell him you don’t need the guilt trip right now and it is not right to keep a suffering animal alive to make us not have to feel sadness. 

I guess his "logic" is, since he "can't justify" putting down a pet unless they're in pain, if she's doped up she won't feel the pain and therefore she doesn't need to be put down! Presto!

He is a good and loyal friend, but so many times he's given me awful advice. He means well but it all comes out backwards. I know if I told him he was making me feel worse he'd apologize profusely.

I did tell him doping her up just so I don't have to lose her is not something I'm willing to do.

[Seraphim]

I find if I don’t assert myself sometimes I am the one that feels awful until I do. People don’t know they are upsetting us until we let them know. 

[boltnrun]

35 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I find if I don’t assert myself sometimes I am the one that feels awful until I do. People don’t know they are upsetting us until we let them know. 

So it turns out his intentions were good but as typical of him, he got it backwards.

He thought I was trying to find reasons to NOT have her put down, so he was gearing his messages toward that. That's why he said he "can't justify" putting her down and why he suggested having the vet examine her and put her on pain meds. So I could point to that and think "see, I shouldn't have her put down, I can find ways to keep her alive!" When all I really wanted was to be comforted. 

This guy doesn't have a malicious or mean bone in his body. He's just awkward in how he tries to present things. He always thinks he knows what kind of responses I want and he almost always gets it completely wrong. So in his own way he was trying to get me out of having her put down. 

I explained myself more clearly so he would understand that even though it makes me terribly sad, I know what I need to do.

He did apologize.

 

[Seraphim]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

So it turns out his intentions were good but as typical of him, he got it backwards.

He thought I was trying to find reasons to NOT have her put down, so he was gearing his messages toward that. That's why he said he "can't justify" putting her down and why he suggested having the vet examine her and put her on pain meds. So I could point to that and think "see, I shouldn't have her put down, I can find ways to keep her alive!" When all I really wanted was to be comforted. 

This guy doesn't have a malicious or mean bone in his body. He's just awkward in how he tries to present things. He always thinks he knows what kind of responses I want and he almost always gets it completely wrong. So in his own way he was trying to get me out of having her put down. 

I explained myself more clearly so he would understand that even though it makes me terribly sad, I know what I need to do.

He did apologize.

 

Oh for sure I understand he didn’t mean to make you feel bad often people don’t . It could be too he is very socially awkward and bad at reading people. I totally understand. My whole house has these difficulties. I am glad you both sorted it out. 

[Coily]

Sorry to read this Bolt. When I had to put my ol fella down, and he was in similar condition, I asked myself who am I making him hang on for? It's hard being an arbiter of that sort of thing, but they know in their own way.

Hope you are doing as well as possible.

[boltnrun]

Thank you.

She's just very old and that would be OK if she didn't look like she's in pain and uncomfortable. Poor little thing.

I haven't heard back from the service, but their voice mail said they're "not available" today. So I just have to wait.

[gamon]

I put my 13 year old hound dog down a few months ago.

Tough decision but her quality of life was poor.

A few things to consider.

We almost always outlive our pets, given the lifespans of humans vs domesticated animals it's almost a given. If they don't die naturally we're going to have to make the call sooner or later, it's only a matter of when.

I did a ton of reading on euthanasia and one thing that really resonated was that pet owners who have put down several pets (over time) do it sooner each consecutive time because they realize that it's more humane for the animal rather than allowing it to suffer. Almost always it's "I waited too long" rather than "did I act too soon".

17 years is really old for a cat, it's like 120 in human years.

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, gamon said:

pet owners who have put down several pets (over time) do it sooner each consecutive time because they realize that it's more humane for the animal rather than allowing it to suffer. Almost always it's "I waited too long" rather than "did I act too soon".

Thank you for this.

My brother said the same thing. He was giving his over 20 year old cat injections from the vet in an attempt to keep him alive as long as possible even though his quality of life was pretty bad. He told me the other day he wishes now he hadn't done that because he realizes now it was actually more cruel than just allowing him to have a peaceful death.

I'm just having a hard time because my kitty still acts sweet sometimes. She will head bop me and rub her face on me and wants to sleep right next to me or get in my lap. But then I see her struggle to walk or sit and I see how much she pees every day and how skinny she is and I feel mean for not wanting to let her go.

[Cherylyn]

Only you know when it's time to say your final good-byes to your cat. 

My 14 year old Golden Retriever collapsed in the garage after our evening walk.  She had been limping badly and slowing down for the last 4 years.  We knew she was in pain.  The decision to euthanize her came when she couldn't take another step one dark, chilly January night.  She was groaning in distress. 

My husband had to carry all 70 pounds of her into the house.  We placed her on a blanket, loaded her into the car and made the miserable drive to the local 24 hour veterinary hospital.  The veterinarian diagnosed her with a tumor which had burst on her liver.  She died of cancer which is common in dogs. 

With our two sons, we've owned the following pets:  Goldfish, next an aquarium filled with lots of fish, rabbits, lizards (which I had to feed meal works and crickets every week), cats, dogs and hamsters.  We're done with pets.  Note my sister just adopted her second puppy.  I'll admire other people's pets from afar from now on.  🙂

 

[boltnrun]

Well, it's scheduled for Thursday after work. I can't afford to take a whole day off and I figured I wouldn't be able to work afterward, so the doctor is coming after my therapy appointment. I'm petting and cuddling her as much as possible right now.

I love animals so I will very likely get another cat at some point. Just not anytime soon.

[Seraphim]

26 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Well, it's scheduled for Thursday after work. I can't afford to take a whole day off and I figured I wouldn't be able to work afterward, so the doctor is coming after my therapy appointment. I'm petting and cuddling her as much as possible right now.

I love animals so I will very likely get another cat at some point. Just not anytime soon.

Yes, just love on her and have the best time with her. ❤️

[SherrySher]

On 10/17/2021 at 1:27 PM, boltnrun said:

Posted in my journal too, some more details there.

After about 14 years I am most likely going to have to have my senior kitty put down.   She is going on about 17 years old and is obviously in pain, isn't feeling well and is exhibiting some behaviors that she's never done before such as having diarrhea off and on and peeing on the floor next to her litter box instead of inside.   She seems a bit confused too. It's affecting me too, since I'm having to literally spend hours each day cleaning up after her and washing her waste off of her.

I do love her, she's my little friend and my roomie and it's been just the two of us for years.  I call us "the two little old ladies".  She sleeps with me and sits next to me on the couch and likes me to pet her.  She talks to me and says hello when I get home from errands.  But jeez, her quality of life seems to be going downhill so fast.  How do I keep her with me just so I won't be sad when she's sick and in pain?

This completely sucks...

I am so sorry, Bolt. My heart is so sad for you. Losing a pet is losing a family member. 😢❤️

[gamon]

13 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I love animals so I will very likely get another cat at some point. Just not anytime soon.

You're going to be looking around the house for her for quite some time. It's been several months and when I up in the morning I'm still careful not to step on her because she used to lay on the floor next to the bed.

 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, gamon said:

You're going to be looking around the house for her for quite some time. It's been several months and when I up in the morning I'm still careful not to step on her because she used to lay on the floor next to the bed.

 

I live alone in a studio apartment so she's always within sight. And I speak aloud to her all the time. That is going to be a hard habit to break.

[boltnrun]

Today is the day. The vet will be here in about 4 1/2 hours.

She's currently sleeping peacefully on the bed. She got up to eat a little bit of wet food and drink water, then she peed (on the floor next to her litter box of course, sigh). Then she meowed for a few minutes and then lay down and went back to sleep.

I'm going to let her sleep even though I'm missing out in cuddle time on her last day here. If she wants to sleep I'll let her sleep.

Sad, anxious, worried, feeling guilty...

[Batya33]

Sending you support and wishing you peace.

[Jibralta]

6 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Sending you support and wishing you peace.

Me too!

[boltnrun]

Thank you. Another 45 minutes or so and the vet will be here.

She spent some time hanging out on my lap and now she's next to me on the couch sleeping.

I hope this process is quick and completely peaceful for her. She's been in enough pain already.

[HeartGoesOn]

You're making the right choice, Bolt.

*Hugs*

[Seraphim]

They are gone in literally seconds . Almost the few seconds the cocktail goes in. It is very peaceful. 

[boltnrun]

5 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

They are gone in literally seconds . Almost the few seconds the cocktail goes in. It is very peaceful. 

They told me on the phone 30 to 45 minutes so that has me worried. But I think the sedative takes effect pretty quickly.

Vet is on his way. She's asleep right now. My precious kitty.

[Seraphim]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

They told me on the phone 30 to 45 minutes so that has me worried. But I think the sedative takes effect pretty quickly.

Vet is on his way. She's asleep right now. My precious kitty.

Yes, they sedate them and then put in an IV. Then when it is time they inject the medication into the IV and their heart stops almost instantly. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

Yes, they sedate them and then put in an IV. Then when it is time they inject the medication into the IV and their heart stops almost instantly. 

She didn't get an IV. The vet gave her the first sedation shot and once she was unconscious he gave her the second shot. It only took about 15 minutes. 

She appeared to be relaxed and it seemed very peaceful.

Vet said it was obvious she had arthritis. Poor kitty won't be in pain anymore. Where she is now she can jump and run and play as much as she wants.

Thank you everyone for the support. It helped tremendously.

[Seraphim]

I am so glad it was peaceful for her . And that had to put you at peace. She isn’t suffering anymore and she had the best life a cat could have and some one who loved her dearly. ❤️