Am I being too sensitive?

[SunnyG]

My husband was sharing with me some porn he was looking at and I was feeling flirty so I sent him a b00b pic and said “these are better” trying to start a fun convo and he replied with “those are nice, the others are videos though and they are posted 😏” this immediately made me feel bad. I explained that sometimes he says things that dig at my confidence and he doesn’t seem to understand why. I felt like he just told me why my pic wasn’t better but he says I make him walk on eggshells because he never knows what to say anymore so he prefers to let me do my own thing because I misinterpret the things he says. Help! Am I being difficult? 

[Jibralta]

I don't think you're being difficult. That was a bizarre exchange. I'm not sure why he needed to argue that the other boobs were videos that had been posted. I think that means he's too retarded to understand that a real woman was flirting with him.

[DarkCh0c0]

Sorry you're feeling this way. Indeed, he doesn't complement you or your efforts. He doesn't make you feel seen or valued.

Are you a long-distance couple? How often do you see each other?

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, SunnyG said:

My husband was sharing with me some porn he was looking at and I was feeling flirty so I sent him a b00b pic and said “these are better” 

Why are you sending that? You aren't a teenager who's unaware that anything like that can be shared and go viral in a nanosecond.

Furthermore, you seem starved for affection if you need to resort to this to get your husband's face out of the porn and pay attention to you.

He's acting like a jerk. Don't twist yourself around his asinine behavior.

When he's too busy jerking off to porn, to engage in sex and romance with you, leave.

[SunnyG]

We have been married for 6 years, we live together.

[Batya33]

Do you two regularly watch porn together as a couple?

[Lambert]

Did he know the picture was of you? 

His response about the others being videos seems like he thought you found a picture you found attractive. And was just telling you, like you didn't know. 

Is he kind of dumb? Does he not understand you or the things you say? 

Maybe you have to dumb it down a bit. 

I don't think you're being sensitive. Is he gaslighting you? 

It seems like things are getting pretty petty when you try to explain  how you're feeling and blanket statements like, I always have to walk on egg shells with you are said. 

Why does he feel this way? Is there some truth to this?

Is he just shutting down the argument? 

Do you guys communicate and have an understanding of each other?  Doesn't sound like it. Has it always been this way?

 

 

[SunnyG]

He did know the picture was of me and we do watch porn together sometimes. 
 

he is not dumb, I’m face he is very smart but very logical where as I am more emotional. He does think I misinterpreted what he said because he states that is not how he meant it. 
 

I don’t believe he should feel like he has to walk on eggshells because I say what I don’t like and tell him what I prefer. He could have just replied “of course those are better!” I feel like it’s so simple to make someone feel sexy, I don’t hold grudges and I don’t think I’m mean. I don’t understand the eggshell thing I just want to be able to talk openly with him and I want him to know what I like. 

[Lambert]

34 minutes ago, SunnyG said:

He did know the picture was of me and we do watch porn together sometimes. 
 

he is not dumb, I’m face he is very smart but very logical where as I am more emotional. He does think I misinterpreted what he said because he states that is not how he meant it. 
 

I don’t believe he should feel like he has to walk on eggshells because I say what I don’t like and tell him what I prefer. He could have just replied “of course those are better!” I feel like it’s so simple to make someone feel sexy, I don’t hold grudges and I don’t think I’m mean. I don’t understand the eggshell thing I just want to be able to talk openly with him and I want him to know what I like. 

Well, then I think you need to explain this to him.  And talk it out why he feels that way, why you see it differently.  These things don't resolve themselves.  That's not holding grudges.  That's talking things out so both people are meeting the other person's needs, while expressing their own.  

It's not up to you to believe how he should feel. Maybe you are too brash in your comments.  You think you're being open, but he doesn't take it that way.  The only solution is to talk it out and work together to overcome these things before one or both of you decides to throw in the towel on the relationship.  

[danmi28]

You're reading too deep into his response.

 

"the othersare videos though and they are posted 😏"

 

Means he's hunting that he wants to have/make videos of you AND had a kink about wanting to share them online.

 

He's an insensitive dummy for missing the opportunity to compliment you and instead throwing this out there, but in no way was it intended as a criticism of you.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, SunnyG said:

He could have just replied “of course those are better!” 

Stop trying to compete with sleazy porn stars. That won't help your marriage. 

Nor will selling your pics/videos whatever on trash like pornhub.

Instead focus on better sex, intimacy, romance and communication.

Why bother sending this to each other if you live together?

[MissCanuck]

2 minutes ago, danmi28 said:

Means he's hunting that he wants to have/make videos of you AND had a kink about wanting to share them online.

That's what I got out of his message too. 

An utterly weird response to OP's photo, in any case. 

[Andrina]

Sounds like you two are a mismatch in communicating, or one or both of you are lacking in those skills. There are many books on the market to help you improve on this. Buy one, such as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and take turns reading a chapter out loud to each other over a period of time.

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, SunnyG said:

He could have just replied “of course those are better!” I feel like it’s so simple to make someone feel sexy,

Yes but when you're relying on texting plus sending nude photos on top of that assume that there is plenty of room for misunderstanding and misinterpretation and on top of that you expect him to know what to type back.  If you feel it's simple to communicate in a way that makes someone feel good about themselves or is validating do much more communicating in person.

[DarkCh0c0]

Okay. I personally don't like his comment as well. Sounds to me like a non mature and non-considerate response.

Sinceyou watch porn together, how is sex in general? Are you actively intimate? Does he value you/take you out on dates? Is he like that in areas of the relationship?

[j.man]

Such a needlessly convoluted dynamic.  If for whatever reason your respective porn interests are a topic of conversation, keep it as such.  I'm kinda doubting he's sending you d1ck picks to compete against a 9" shlong you've seen in a video, so why send a t1t pic under such a pretense?  

As others have noted, focus on your romance in healthier and much more direct ways.  Nothing you've provided is adequate information to make any kind of judgment on your overall marital dynamic.  But while I understand many couples do comfortably share things like porn preferences, it's obvious the topic doesn't seem to benefit you much.  Probably a better idea to let each other enjoy it on private terms.  I'd go from there.