very disappointed with this site.

[punchy504]

I was so excited when I found this forum, I am also a member of a legal advice forum, I love it and the friends I have made there. This forum seems excessively full people trying to get attention over exaggerated emotions and situations. even in the career forum. I have looked all over this forum for an intelligent conversation and all I find is pity partys and people who don't want to move on because they are too happy being miserable. If there is a current discussion about something of substance, would someone please be so kind as to direct me to it?

[Avalon23199]

I'm not one for being rude usually, and I have helped people on here you seem to be searching for logical info. I usually don't pay mind to people who are trying to find ways to break no contact or stuff like that. But if you don't like this forum, then don't come here!

[mattj]

we had a very deep discussion on childbirth, teen pregnancy and acceptable ages for sexual activity. Besides what do you expect when this is a forum about love etc!!!!! law and love are slightly different, would you criticise shakespeare for being too airy fairy?

 

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[avman]

Thats a shame you feel that way punchy504 but you might want to offer some assistance to people in need instead of coming down on people who are having a rough time of it. Perhaps you have misunderstood what this forum is about or simply lack empathy for people. In either case I can predict that your post will simply attract hostile responses and you will not find what you are looking for here.

[punchy504]

when this is a forum about love etc!!!!!

 

 

 

I do recall seeing forum categories such as Career, Personal Growth.

 

I would have loved to have been involved with the discussions you described, those help people....

 

 

will my ex ever call meee???? ad nauseum does not

[RayKay]

Well it seems to me then it is just not your "thing" or you failed to see that enotalone IS about emotional issues that people go through. Even one's career can be an emotional issue. What do you expect from a site that talks about breaking up, deaths, love and romance, dating and even has a forum called "Emotions & Feelings"?

 

People do go through rough periods in their life and it is more complicated then simply "getting over it". Why come down on people who are having a hard time, even if it does take them longer? I might sometimes think they are holding on too long, but I can still have empathy for the pain they are in.

 

If you want to discuss legal issues, then stick to legal forums, or television show forums, or car forums...whatever you like, but if you don't want to deal with relationships/emotions...DON'T go to a relationship forum!

[coolchick]

What i find strange is why you have registered yourself with this site if you dont like it? If i dont like something then i simply dont go onto it and find something else. This forum has helped a lot of people and it isnt nice to judge what helps others. If you dont like it then simply dont come back. Its that simple. For all the other people who use this...A BIG THANK YOU! You have helped talk through my situation with people who know exactly what you are feeling because they have been through it aswell.

[keefy1972]

What kind of a conversation are you looking for punchy?? If I may ask, why do you surf around all of the forums on the internet? Are you not capable of discovering an "intelligent conversation" in the real world? Are there hidden issues within you that you would care to reveal?

 

People have issues and problems that they have a hard time coping with alone. If it is such a pain for you to attend a "pity party", by all means, consider yourself invited to leave and never return. If you have problems or would like to lend an ear and some helpful advice, we would all be more than happy to have you join in.

 

I concur with Avman's assesment that you either do not understand the meaning and purpose of this forum or simply lack the ablilty to be empathetic.

[Rainy]

People that come to this forum are looking for help and guidance and maybe just a place to rant, these people and me included come to this forum as it the replies that we get can give a feeling of not being isolated and that other people are going through the same pain as yourself,

 

Please dont come to this site and disregard this site and peoples emotions, this site has helped me alot in the past

[punchy504]

I do have lots of empathy, and when I first joined this forum I did think oh that poor gir or that must have been so rough, but (and I am basing this on everything I have read here) when you actually give someone good solid advice and they turn around and come back at you with the exact same question as in their original post, you've got to wonder if they actually want they help they are cryin for. And I did join this site in addition to the legal site so I would have the opportunity to be a bit more personally supportive of people in difficult situations than a legal site really allows, but the drama is just overwhelming. I do know that I come accross as sharp but I can't be the only one rolling my eyes at some of these posts?

[RayKay]

I do know that I come accross as sharp but I can't be the only one rolling my eyes at some of these posts?

 

Then don't read or answer those posts. I am sure others feel the same way but they don't feel need to post about how they don't like the site because of the fact they read something they did not agree with.

[GettingOverIt]

People do go through rough periods in their life and it is more complicated then simply "getting over it".

 

Exactly... When I first came here, I thought this would be a cookie-cutter, one-size fits all, answer to my problems site... I was, afterall, Getting Over It... Turns out, after a lot of time, I am still Getting Over It...

 

One day, though, I hope to be over it all, and then I can use my experience to help others get over their mistakes, their heartaches and pains....

[kenneth05]

your sour grapes pseudo insulting post is clearly an invitation to start a silly argument of defense and criticism. it's a total waste of time. people who like this site will continue to like it. if you don't like it, there are many others on the internet for you to surf to. are you having a bad day or something?

[keefy1972]

By saying that you have "lots of empathy" and then end your post by stating, "I cant be the only one rolling my eyes at some of these posts" is very contradictory! That is not being empathetic, that is just being judgemental. Not a healthy way to be, but to each his own. Maybe you would be better suited to stick to the threads such as, "What is considered to be a big penis". You are making yourself out to be a pretty big one by being so judgemental. As has been stated, you aren't contractually bound to remain in this forum and are free to leave without ever coming back if it is such a bummer for you.

 

We would all be happy for you to remain and give and take some advice and use this forum in its' proper format. That choice is yours.

[twizod]

To a certain extent I agree with punch504. I do agree with the fact that a LOT of posts have rhetorical postings with no real merit. It is extremely frustrating to hear the same question over and over again about how so-and-so dumped you and whether you should do NC to get them back or how do you get them back? No one can answer that because we don't know them and we don't know you at that social level.

But....to phrase posting degrading other posts makes you seem egocentric and calous. No one cares you are involved in a legal site- it sets you off as gloating of your intelligence while being hypocritical of wanting an emotional forum. All the while lashing out at it b/c it doesn't have what you want. To use an applicable phrase, "Be careful what you wish for..."

I would suggest you take this site with a grain of salt and try using empathy...it's another emotion. Try to understand how difficult it is formulating feelings into coherent reasons and motivations. Try to remove their confusion and help them instead of chastising for not being at your "intellect". I can understand your frustration with the lack of relevant and encompassing material but that is reserved for certain people on this forum..for example Beec. Some people on this site offer razor sharp suggestions that will cut you like a lawyer's argument at a murder trial. Hope you take this to heart instead of your head.

[Day_Walker]

I was so excited when I found this forum, I am also a member of a legal advice forum, I love it and the friends I have made there. This forum seems excessively full people trying to get attention over exaggerated emotions and situations. even in the career forum. I have looked all over this forum for an intelligent conversation and all I find is pity partys and people who don't want to move on because they are too happy being miserable. If there is a current discussion about something of substance, would someone please be so kind as to direct me to it?

 

As with life, you are going to have to search for the Intellectual satisfaction that you are looking for. I will admit that people on this forum seem to have severe emotional issues, but once again thats part of life. There are intelligent topics that are started on this site, if you arent finding what you are looking for then feel free to start a topic that you are interested in and see what kind of response you get. The majority of this site (in a general sense) is about dealing with ex's, getting back together or healing. You may find the intellectual stimulation you are looking for on this forum or you may not. Happy searching

[Empathy]

Yeah, I frequently roll my eyes at some of the posts here. But then I remind myself of what I've always believed and I'll quote myself here "No problem is really small. What may seem like a big problem to you may seem like nothing to others. But what others think does not matter. What only matters is how the obstacles in your life affect YOU. Whether they're big or small is of no consequence."

 

Not only is this forum a place where people seek advice and support it's also a place for people to just be social. To meet people who are going through the same thing. I'm thankful for this site. I've already met a couple of people here who are making this difficult time for me a lot easier to deal with. I've met one person in particular (Yes, that's you Bittersweetly healed ) that I see as a godsend sometimes because she has helped me more than even my best friend has. I love this site. Sorry to decrease my intelligence here, but I'd feel like absolute PISS right now if it wasn't for this site.

[Iceman26]

To a certain extent I agree with punch504. I do agree with the fact that a LOT of posts have rhetorical postings with no real merit. It is extremely frustrating to hear the same question over and over again about how so-and-so dumped you and whether you should do NC to get them back or how do you get them back? No one can answer that because we don't know them and we don't know you at that social level.

 

I agree with this. I too used to get frustrated sometimes, reading post after post about people pining after their exes. I don't knock the people that try, I just rarely have anything to say to them because its something I would never do, thereforeeee have little to no advice to give about the subject.

 

As RayKay suggested, I simply move on to other posts in which I believe people are looking for honest help and seeking advice instead of being frustrated reading posts about people who do nothing to solve their own problems.

[chai714]

Punchy,

You may have judged the intellect of this site prematurely. There are many people who bring to this site knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Not many claim to be professionals here. What you'll find here are real people, with real problems and real people who try to help them find realistic solutions. Nobody here claims to know all, but the people of this forum often collaborate and find a viable solution to many problems. You will not find a community like this anywhere else on the Internet.

 

I can see how you can feel how it may be a "pity party." As other posters have stated, others take more time to get through whatever combination of emotions they're experiencing. Unless you are either young or have lacked a lot of life-experience, I'm sure you can relate to many of the issues raised by the members of this community. If not, you can always perform a search. There are so many posts on this forum, one could not possibly read them all in a lifetime. Good luck, I hope this helps you.

[DN]

I have looked all over this forum for an intelligent conversation

 

The thing I find amusing about your post is that it isn't exactly a stellar demonstration of intellect in itself, for instance: you say that people post on here merely for attention and yet your post seems designed to draw attention to yourself; you claim to have 'lots of empathy' and then demonstrate very clearly that you do not and, despite your wish for an intelligent conversation, you fail to comprehend the function of the site. People who live in glasshouses …

[shes2smart]

Oh, I freely admit there are times when I roll my eyes, scream in frustration, and wonder what people are thinkin' when I read some posts on this site. And I'm not gonna win any awards in the tact and diplomacy department, either.

 

However, I also realize that a lot of people posting here are 25 and under. And things like break-ups and dating are still new for them. So it does feel like the end of the world when their first or second serious relationship ends. They don't have the perspective that comes with age. I do...which means it's on me to cut them a little slack.

 

Punchy504, you must realize people only change when they reach a maximum level of discomfort. What you define as a maximum level of discomfort may be nothing compared to what someone else's maximum level of discomfort is.

 

Here's my guiding principle for myself when posting on this site: If I cant say anything constructive, I don't say anything at all.

 

If you're not finding what you want or what you expected here, why continue bashing your head against the wall looking for it to be different? Gosh, that sounds an awful lot like those people you'd skewer for being miserable and not doing anything about their situation, eh?

[punchy504]

By saying that you have "lots of empathy" and then end your post by stating, "I cant be the only one rolling my eyes at some of these posts" is very contradictory!

 

 

Too true, too true. However, and maybe, as is my habit to sometimes do, my words in the first post came out too sharply. But I do not think I would be helping anyone by encouraging some of the self defeatest attitudes that are prevelant here. Like I said before I have seen some GREAT advice given to a troubled poster, who then totally disregards it and still wonders why they are miserable. I want to help and support people, not enable them.

 

and I will take someone's advice from early and be a bit chosy about who I am spending my time on.

[RandomAdvisor]

I do have lots of empathy, and when I first joined this forum I did think oh that poor gir or that must have been so rough, but (and I am basing this on everything I have read here) when you actually give someone good solid advice and they turn around and come back at you with the exact same question as in their original post, you've got to wonder if they actually want they help they are cryin for.

 

There's a saying I remember often when reading posts on this site.

 

The difference between truth and fiction is that fiction has to make sense.

 

The stories on this site (baring some made up exceptions) are true. You have to remember that people often do not make sense. Emotions don't make sense. They aren't rational. People feel one thing and think another. Often times what they are feeling makes them do things they know to be irrational. That's all a part of being human.

 

You sound like a very logical person. I am too. I don't "roll my eyes" at some people's posts so much as I want to pull my hair out.

[DN]

People do sometimes disregard advice - even legal advice. It explains why people keep getting parking tickets.

[Empathy]

SLAM!