punchy504
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Everything posted by punchy504
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how old are you?
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I was in a long term relationship with someone who would never be the buffer between me and his family- guess what, I left. I agree with everyone else, your new family, their wants, needs comforts and preferences now come before your old family. and for the wedding, can't you hire a sitter to watch the child for while you are gone- use that time not as mommy and daddy but as husband and wife. let the romance of a wedding rekindle that spark for you guys.
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As a woman, the absolute best thing a guy has ever said when approaching me is hello. When someone comes up to me with a line, or something clever my guard goes up right away.
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Well my daughter has her daddy and he is not going anywhere, for me I thinki the step is someone the child MUST treat with respect at all times, and my daughter will know that if he I do get married that he is my partner- an extension of my parenting authority and must be listened to and respected, further than that it is between my daughter and step to build whatever relationship works for them, hopefully a loving one. But everyone has to recognize and respect everyone else's roles in the situation. One way to explain it to the ex is, it is not someone else raising their child, the two bio parents raise the child, whatever extra love and support a step brings is just icing on the cake for the kid, really kids can never get too much love right. But steps do have to be very careful in dealing with bios, they shouldn't come accross as trying to replace bio or as if they know better than the bio, their role should be that of support for their spouse and the child involved. while they can express any opinion they like to their spouse, when it comes to the other bio, they should just be calm and relatively quiet at all times.
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What does "I don't love you anymore" mean?
punchy504 replied to ZoeMatthews's topic in Breaking Up Advice
people SAY break so it doesn't sound so bad, so final... I think it would be smart to get over this, I would continue on as though there is no chance of getting back together, you guys were rather doomed from the start just by the nature of how and when you guys started, it is time to move on -
The sad hard truth of this situation is dad is now a legal stranger in regards to this child, he has no right to interfere with the child anymore, one thing he may want to do is start an album and every year (or whatever interval he likes) he can write a letter to the child and save it in the album, when and if the child ever seeks him out he will be able to show the child that he has alwaysloved him, always thought about him and maybe the child would at that time liketo build a relationship with him. I don't think it would be in ANYONE"S best interests for dad to be trying to wiggle in now.
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You are 19, go to school, move where you want! Cast off that mantle of "DOORMAT"! This particular time in your lif is precious, you are not under anyone's thumb, your whole life is ahead of you, right now is when you can decide what direction you want that life to go in! if you just stay with him now, I can tell you from experience (I'm even willing to put cold hard cash on it) that in 5/6 years you will regret staying! you will kick yourself for it! you will think why oh why didn't I use that time to build the life I wanted?!?!? Go your own way, get your education, see your family, live a little, go out with the girls, it may sound cliche but it is so true, if you and bf are meant to work out then you will, if not, wouldn't you rather know now than years down the road when you are no further along in your own life and goals. I know I wish everyday that I could go back, I would chose me the second time around.
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While I agree it should come from someone she loves and respects I do agree with the other poster that said she might be more hurt if it came from her husband, remember wives are kind of supposed to be their husband's "most beautiful person in the world". I like the idea of the salon, I also think maybe a mom or a sister maybe a great choice of messenger. women in a family can get away with saying A LOT to each other. even just joking around they may be able to at least get wifey thinking in this direction...
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Unfortunately this is how a lot of steps end up feeling, in less mature people it can really lead to a lot of destructive resentment. It has got to be hard to be a step. My beau and I have recently been talking about marriage, my concern is coming from the bio mom position, I haven't seen him interact too much with my soon to be 4 year old daughter,mostly because of scheduling, if we do get married I want us to be a family, not just me and kiddo and him involved on the sidelines. So in about a week he and my daughter have "a date", they are going to leave the house together and go do some stuff, hopefully they will both come back in one piece . I think it is very importnt for the kids to have their own connectin with a step, right now she just doesn't really acknowledge him too much. A step parent can be such an added resource to a kids life, and one more adult that loves them never hurts any kid. It is a hard balance to be involved with everything that is going on with the child IN the home but then not really able to mae any of the actual major decisions regarding the child. Kudos to those who can balance without falling!
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thank you, yet again, good advice
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Does anyone have any experience or information regarding reversal of tubal ligation? Once the surgery is performed, are you "back to normal"? or is there still a chance you may not conceive due to the origanl surgery? Thanks
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Q: what should I do? A: follow through on your original path to protect yourself emotionally and mentally and leave him until he resumes the help he needs.
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WAIT A MINUTE! This girl is 18, 18!!!! hello- fun time!!!!! I think your girl is totally right, I spent much of my life doing what "my guy" thought was right, guess what, we are not together now and I regret not having done my own thing. you can't think to control her like this- one night a week to go out, for a single, yes SINGLE and otherwise unencumbered woman is NOT excessive. now you can make the decision to respect her doing her own thing and you doing yours and you both being happy TOGETHER or you can lose her- cause that's what's going to happen...
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Q: is this just sex? A: yes
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I am not sure what your issue is... at work you should be in work mode and behave accordingly
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Luciana- I agree with you wholeheartedly- what I tried to say was the relationship wasn't moving that direction on it's own. If I were here I would have been gone a while ago, he knows which way he should go or which way he wants to go more than any of us can tell him not to be mean here, but it really is time for him to stand up be a man and say it like it is, which ever way it is and let the chips fall where they may, he may be scared that by not wanting to marry her he will lose her
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that list really draws some interesting lines, I don't know many bioparents who could accommodate that, while some of the things are obvious and all too necessary as rules, the couple that I commented on could spell the end of a marriage.
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From my perspective I think you guys should actually break up, if you don't know in your heart that she is the woman for you forever, then do not continue with this, and especially don't let it progress to the next step. And quite frankly after 2 1/2 years you do have an idea one way or the other. she is trying to force this relationship into something not in it's current natural progression, not good. won't work.
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I think your friend might mean to not show all your feelings at once, not let yourself be a doormat for girls. no one respects a doormat
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what do you mean by "quite a few children"? and is he responsible as far as support and spending time with all of them?
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A woman's opinion please about a long lost friendship
punchy504 replied to ghow's topic in Relationship Advice
if it were me and the guy and I were that good of friends, I would want the phone call, and an explanation of the rudeness that led to the estrangement. good luck -
here is the hard truth about this: you guys are young teens, he is indifferent now, he doesn't WANT to hurt her feelings, he is ready to move on, why? because you all are young and relationships simply do not last when you're that age, everything is changing, including feelings.
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Great Advice Guys! Thank you so much... I will be following all, this guy can be great if we can get past this...I will be doing the career counseling with him, I have done that with employees when I was in the restaurant industry and it worked quite well, guess I didn't really think of doing it here because there is so much less of a "corporate feel" if you know what I mean, I've been making it a little more corporate as time has gone on, this is the reasonable next step. Thank You Again
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Seeing Ex After A Month 1/2 How To Act?
punchy504 replied to capricorn85's topic in Breaking Up Advice
what is your goal- to get back with him or what? seems kind of like you are both a bit immature and probably need to evaluate what it is you want -
It is kind of hard, darkblue, when he first started he was, what I felt was quite disrespectful, one day as soon as he came in I called him in my office and basically asked him if he had an issue with me or with having a woman supervisor, he said no to all, I explained basically that we all have to work together it was good for a while after that but now that he has been here almost a year I am expecting him to step up to the plate, to think like a tech, to know more than he did when he got here, I think he feels picked on. I know that I can be a little "no-nonsense" especially when profit margins or customer satisfaction are in jeopardy, but never is it anything personal. how do I bridge this? I want my employees to be great, I want to be their biggest cheerleader but that doesn't mean I am not going to tell them when they aren't striving hard enough....yanno?