Ex contacts me and then disappears

[minute_perception]

Ex and I have been in contact ever since we broke up, which was almost a year ago. The longest time we didn't speak for was almost 3 months, and then I finally reached out to him. We still like each other, miss each other all the time and care about each other too. We said somewhat recently that if we ever did reconsider our relationship again, it is once we have moved on from the hurt. Ex reached out to me a week ago apologising, this is not the only time he has apologised for his wrongdoing. I sort of mentioned that I have been seeing someone. At the end of the text, I told him that I miss certain things (intimacy etc) with him but understood for breaking up (I do not, but I have to). He didn't respond to that. I'm very certain that in weeks or months to come, he'll reach out with something in regards to that, that is sort of igniting it. Reasons for why they reach out and then disappear? 

[Wiseman2]

57 minutes ago, minute_perception said:

. I sort of mentioned that I have been seeing someone. He didn't respond to that. 

It's time to free yourself and let go. Don't use people to make him jealous or try to get him back.

 

[Clio]

1 hour ago, minute_perception said:

Ex reached out to me a week ago apologising, this is not the only time he has apologised for his wrongdoing. 

Reasons for why they reach out and then disappear? 

You need to understand that when an ex reaches out, it's not about you, it's all about THEMSELVES.  He apologised to make HIMSELF feel better.  He contacted you to see whether you are still pining for him to make HIMSELF feel better i.e. He reaches out to make HIMSELF feel better about whatever guilt or void in his life is troubling him and once he feels better he disappears because at the end of the day he doesn't want to be with you, he just wants you there still available as plan B if all else fails. He just hasn't found YET someone  more interesting to occupy his mind with.  You need to stop taking this kind of contact seriously and focus on the new person you have been seeing, the one who IS interested in you NOW and not in some vague timeline that may never happen and more importantly focus on the one who hasn't OPTED to abandon you and broken your trust.  Once they have treated you as disposable they are liable to do it again and again (which is why it's a bad idea to take an ex who has dumped you back). It's YOUR responsibility to protect yourself from being jerked around.  The reasons they reach out and then disappear are always selfish and a sign that you should write them off as unreliable flakes and stop allowing them back into your life.  Good luck.   

[Kwothe28]

You said on the double theme you opened its "the grass is greener" symptome. So, treat it as such. He wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side and now when he saw its not and he has nothing going on, he wants back. It hapens, but yes, you need to know that he is not serious and that, if he left once he would have no problem of doing it again when he see the better opportunity and once again wants to see if grass is  indeed greener. So, dont take it seriously.

[Wise Wally]

It's all a game that both of you are subconsciously playing.  He reached out to check and see if you seem to be missing him, which boosts his ego.  At the same time, you mention other guys to see if it'll make him jealous.  The thing both of you fear is that the other will completely move on and make you an afterthought. 

[boltnrun]

As I wrote on your other identical thread, if he wanted to get back together he would say so.

Since you seem to be distressed by this limbo that's been going on for a year, how about you ask him to get back together?  That way you'll finally know for sure, yes or no.

[DancingFool]

4 hours ago, Clio said:

You need to understand that when an ex reaches out, it's not about you, it's all about THEMSELVES.  He apologised to make HIMSELF feel better.  He contacted you to see whether you are still pining for him to make HIMSELF feel better i.e. He reaches out to make HIMSELF feel better about whatever guilt or void in his life is troubling him and once he feels better he disappears because at the end of the day he doesn't want to be with you, he just wants you there still available as plan B if all else fails. He just hasn't found YET someone  more interesting to occupy his mind with.  You need to stop taking this kind of contact seriously and focus on the new person you have been seeing, the one who IS interested in you NOW and not in some vague timeline that may never happen and more importantly focus on the one who hasn't OPTED to abandon you and broken your trust.  Once they have treated you as disposable they are liable to do it again and again (which is why it's a bad idea to take an ex who has dumped you back). It's YOUR responsibility to protect yourself from being jerked around.  The reasons they reach out and then disappear are always selfish and a sign that you should write them off as unreliable flakes and stop allowing them back into your life.  Good luck.   

^Brilliant post that is 100% spot on that you need read until it finally sinks in, OP.

Also, you mentioned missing intimacy and he disappeared. He cares so little and has so little interest in actually doing anything with you that he isn't even up for a hook up. That should really be like a cold bucket of water over your head, but instead you are spinning tales how "he'll find a way to contact you again"....yeah next time he needs his ego stroked while sitting on the toilet. How flattering for you......

You really need to snap out of this and move on already. Block him for your own sanity. Yes, this means he won't be able to contact you and that's the point - YOU need to finally shut that door and free yourself of this nonsense. Why on earth are you pining for someone who is so unworthy of you? Serious question.