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Hey there.. Wishing everyone well and thank you so much in advance for any reply! 

So how do I start.. 3,5 years ago I started dating a guy but we broke 1,5 years ago because of the fights. I was hurt but he kept saying that if we stop fighting then we might have a chance again. It was humiliating but since then that's what I've been trying to do - be a good girl and fight less because I was still in love with him and wanted to get back together. But no matter how little we fought, whenever I came to him asking to take me back it never was good enough, he wanted no fighting whatsoever, so each time I got hurt and snapped and it started all over again. But for some months I've been trying to move on yet kept talking to my ex. He knew I've been trying to move on

Then 2 weeks ago I met someone and to my surprise he fell in love with me and I fell in love with him incredibly quickly, as we have tons in common and generally felt so attracted to each other. I got really scared of it and I felt as if I was cheating on my ex which is crazy. So I came to my ex and told him about it as I felt really guilty. And I felt like I was still in love with him. He said that we can only get back together if we stop fighting. Confused and scared I agreed to be miserable in that humiliating trying again. So, of course, I told the guy I met two weeks ago. And he got really hurt. I was hurt too because after I agreed I felt like it was a mistake as it was a mistake each time I agreed to be good and cause less fights before. The new guy said he felt empty and that he had a giant hole inside and it just hurt me badly to hurt him like that. I immediately regretted agreeing and I tried to get out of my ex's offer as much and as fast as I could. Unhappy I caused a fight and three days after agreeing I told my ex that I only want to be friends. But the thing is, on the next day after I told the new guy the truth he told me he already moved on. I was surprised by that, but I didn't tell him I was trying to end it with my ex. The new guy said he was trying to be man about it. The next day he told me his love, his feelings are in the past. I told him I ended it with my ex. He was very very sorry and sweet and worried for me. But he didn't take me back as his feelings are already gone. And so since then I die a little bit inside. We don't talk much with the new guy although during happy first days we were talking all night long about everything in the world, about meeting too, and watching sunset together. I was scared and confused and made a mistake and regretted it immediately and tried to get out. But after I made the mistake - I realized things. I realized that I'm somehow addicted to my ex, feeling guilty when trying to move on although. Since I told the new guy the truth, I've had a hole inside me and it's just growing non stop, it's overwhelming. All day I sit and want to close my eyes and forget that I even exist or every 5 minutes it just gets so extremely loud I get up and want to throw myself on the bed. I don't know if time heals, it seems like it's only getting worse, that empty feeling inside is only getting bigger and worse. And it hurts so bad that he moved on so fast. He says he can't control his feelings. He cant bring them back. I'm back to just the way my life was before I met him (alone but fine, I wasn't desperate for a relationship) but different, with the feeling that someone ripped my heart out. Regret is killing me. It's only worse and worse, I feel stupid more and more every day. I want to be with him but he moved on and I can't. A stupid mistake. I don't develop feelings for people easily. My ex was my first boyfriend and before him I never liked anyone so much or even fell in love. It was incredibly hard when he dumped me. But this time I developed feelings so fast it scared me. And I'm having a hugely hard time moving on, I just can't and I don't really want to move on. I keep hoping that he'll come back. Even though he says he doesn't feel that way for me anymore. We barely talk, I feel like I annoy him, he only wants to play chess (online) and be friends

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hey, i dont have the best advice but i can at least give you a little hope...

please remind yourself that you're a powerful woman. this gives you time to focus on yourself. 

this will all be over soon. one day or another. i promise.

-mg

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Just now, mingoo said:

hey, i dont have the best advice but i can at least give you a little hope...

please remind yourself that you're a powerful woman. this gives you time to focus on yourself. 

this will all be over soon. one day or another. i promise.

-mg

Thank you but I'm really not.. I always feel like I don't deserve anyone or anything. I had no dignity in my previous relationship as I had to fight for it, for my ex, but he never fought for me, only made conditions.. And if I was powerful I wouldn't feel like a dog, coming back to the owner again and again.. But thank you... 

 

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Just now, CryingDuckie said:

Thank you but I'm really not.. I always feel like I don't deserve anyone or anything. I had no dignity in my previous relationship as I had to fight for it, for my ex, but he never fought for me, only made conditions.. And if I was powerful I wouldn't feel like a dog, coming back to the owner again and again.. But thank you... 

i know how you feel cryingduckie. when one of my ex broke up with me, i fell into depression. i try to do everything towards one person and they go away. i felt hopeless. 

what i would do is to slowly build yourself up. this was your first love right? you're gonna experience this along the way. divorce, multiple breakups, etc. it will all end soon. you're gonna be happy again.

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5 minutes ago, mingoo said:

i know how you feel cryingduckie. when one of my ex broke up with me, i fell into depression. i try to do everything towards one person and they go away. i felt hopeless. 

what i would do is to slowly build yourself up. this was your first love right? you're gonna experience this along the way. divorce, multiple breakups, etc. it will all end soon. you're gonna be happy again.

You are very right.. Thank you.. 

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21 minutes ago, CryingDuckie said:

Then 2 weeks ago I met someone and to my surprise he fell in love with me and I fell in love with him incredibly quickly, as we have tons in common and generally felt so attracted to each other.

Infatuation, not love. Common for start of relationship but also goes back really quickly as soon as first dissapointment starts. In his case, you going back to your ex. Cant really blame the guy, you started something, then you got back with your ex, told him that and then broke up with ex and asked him to take you back. No sane guy would take you back after that move. Just saying its not love when his feelings where just gone in an instant.

You still havent gotten over your ex. Therefore in no state to date anybody. Resolve that first. That means dont try to get back together with him. Heck, dont contact him at all. You cant move on with him constantly there. In time, yes, but right now you need to resolve that issue first.

Also

45 minutes ago, CryingDuckie said:

All day I sit and want to close my eyes and forget that I even exist or every 5 minutes it just gets so extremely loud I get up and want to throw myself on the bed.

this sounds like depression. Would really reccomend to seek therapy if its gotten that far

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1 hour ago, CryingDuckie said:

Then 2 weeks ago I met someone and to my surprise he fell in love with me and I fell in love with him incredibly quickly, as we have tons in common and generally felt so attracted to each other. I got really scared of it and I felt as if I was cheating on my ex which is crazy. So I came to my ex and told him about it as I felt really guilty. And I felt like I was still in love with him. He said that we can only get back together if we stop fighting. Confused and scared I agreed to be miserable in that humiliating trying again.

Sadly, this is way too much going on for you 😕 

No, it is not love.  Is like lust.  Huge interest in the beginning, only.

What YOU need is to NOT be contacting your ex anymore.  Do not be telling him of your encounters/ experiences, etc.  He need not know any of that.

As you see, this with him is making YOU feel miserable etc.. Then, why? 

 

1 hour ago, CryingDuckie said:

I told the guy I met two weeks ago. And he got really hurt. I was hurt too because after I agreed I felt like it was a mistake as it was a mistake each time I agreed to be good and cause less fights before. The new guy said he felt empty and that he had a giant hole inside and it just hurt me badly to hurt him like that.

Whatever's up with this guy - is not on you.  He sounds just as messed up.  Being involved with someone a cpl weeks does not affect them that badly, if one admits they're not as into it...

 

1 hour ago, CryingDuckie said:

I immediately regretted agreeing and I tried to get out of my ex's offer as much and as fast as I could. Unhappy I caused a fight and three days after agreeing I told my ex that I only want to be friends.

Ahh. No.

YOu just can't do this - be friends with an ex.  Not, unless or until you know you're over them!  You are far from there...

And this is very unhealthy, jumping between these two guys ... you are not 'stable' in the least at this time.

 

1 hour ago, CryingDuckie said:

I'm back to just the way my life was before I met him (alone but fine, I wasn't desperate for a relationship) but different, with the feeling that someone ripped my heart out.

This other guy was a 'quick trip' and rebound, to TRY and hide feelings of your ex- doesn't work!  

 

1 hour ago, CryingDuckie said:

Regret is killing me. It's only worse and worse, I feel stupid more and more every day. I want to be with him but he moved on and I can't.

Regret isn't killing you... your loss is.  Of your ex.

He moved on & you can't.. of course not.. You are not ready to do that.  You have nothing to give someone new.

You need some serious 'down time', to work on grieving properly & healing.

 

Now, how to you move on?  You remain single a good while to work thru all of your emotions & to heal.

You do NOT deal with the ex at all anymore.  No more contact.. Nothing.

It takes time.. and less you know the better, in order to 'move on' again, with your own life.

Journal, that helps you 'release' in a good way.. say all you want & feel that way.  Hang with friends, get outside, get some air.. cry if you must, it's okay.

But give yourself time.. on your own.

 

Edited by SooSad33
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Whoa, OP - slow down. 

Anyone saying they're in love with you after 14 days is not in an emotionally-stable place. And neither are you. You and this new guy are trying to fill pre-existing voids with each other, but it is not love. You hardly know each other. 

You're spinning because are you still in love with your ex and trying to forget about him by replacing him with another guy, but you can see that it doesn't work like that. The new guy is right to call this off, as you're clearly not ready to date anyone yet. But it likely would have crashed and burned anyway - way too intense, way too quickly. It's lust and fear of being alone, not love. 

Take time by yourself. Process this break-up. Cut contact with your ex. But don't date yet. It's going to be a disaster until you're over your ex. You won't attract the right type of guys until you're in a healthier emotional place.  

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7 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Infatuation, not love. Common for start of relationship but also goes back really quickly as soon as first dissapointment starts. In his case, you going back to your ex. Cant really blame the guy, you started something, then you got back with your ex, told him that and then broke up with ex and asked him to take you back. No sane guy would take you back after that move. Just saying its not love when his feelings where just gone in an instant.

You still havent gotten over your ex. Therefore in no state to date anybody. Resolve that first. That means dont try to get back together with him. Heck, dont contact him at all. You cant move on with him constantly there. In time, yes, but right now you need to resolve that issue first.

Also

this sounds like depression. Would really reccomend to seek therapy if its gotten that far

To be honest it soothes me a bit, thinking that maybe it was infatuation. It's just I never ever fall for anyone quickly, it takes me a lot of time and with my ex I made sure to pace myself afraid that it wouldn't be serious. But it's just this time it happened so fast that it seems special. That guy I met 2 weeks ago seems special, during first week we talked really lots. And I found out so many things about him that I loved. He also said so many nice things. We are even of the same age, he's just 1,5 months older than me. He said I was kinder to him than any stranger before, he said he was walking around with a "stupid happy smile" on his face all day long. He sent me a photo and I just loved that smile. He said I was giving him butterflies in his stomach. I loved hearing it but at some point, a week after talking to him, I got scared and that's why rushed to my ex, as to the safe place. I mistakenly thought that I loved only him. So I told them both the truth and realized that no, I love my ex no more like a brother. But now it's too late. You say that he won't take me back, no sane guy would, and it just hurts so badly. And so surprisingly badly as I really don't know him much, I only know like 1% percent about him. But I love that 1%. It hurts that he doesn't need me anymore, my kindness, or me making him smile. It hurts that I don't do it for him anymore but I want to. You said it's not love if his feelings were gone in an instant, that's true. It took him just 24 hours to move on. Although on the day when I told him the truth he said he was having a really hard time moving on, feeling great emptiness and a hole inside, he said that no one has my wit and sense of humor. On the next day he didn't need my wit or sense of humor or anything.. But the thing is it's not for me. It's been already a little more than a week. We barely talk with this new guy as he said he wanted to be friends - I stayed. But I can't stop hurting, I want to be with him and it hurts that he doesn't want it. His feelings came fast and went away just as fast. My feelings came fast but they don't go away, it feels like my feelings for him and my pain is only bigger and worse... 

 

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7 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

Sadly, this is way too much going on for you 😕 

No, it is not love.  Is like lust.  Huge interest in the beginning, only.

What YOU need is to NOT be contacting your ex anymore.  Do not be telling him of your encounters/ experiences, etc.  He need not know any of that.

As you see, this with him is making YOU feel miserable etc.. Then, why? 

 

Whatever's up with this guy - is not on you.  He sounds just as messed up.  Being involved with someone a cpl weeks does not affect them that badly, if one admits they're not as into it...

 

Ahh. No.

YOu just can't do this - be friends with an ex.  Not, unless or until you know you're over them!  You are far from there...

And this is very unhealthy, jumping between these two guys ... you are not 'stable' in the least at this time.

 

This other guy was a 'quick trip' and rebound, to TRY and hide feelings of your ex- doesn't work!  

 

Regret isn't killing you... your loss is.  Of your ex.

He moved on & you can't.. of course not.. You are not ready to do that.  You have nothing to give someone new.

You need some serious 'down time', to work on grieving properly & healing.

 

Now, how to you move on?  You remain single a good while to work thru all of your emotions & to heal.

You do NOT deal with the ex at all anymore.  No more contact.. Nothing.

It takes time.. and less you know the better, in order to 'move on' again, with your own life.

Journal, that helps you 'release' in a good way.. say all you want & feel that way.  Hang with friends, get outside, get some air.. cry if you must, it's okay.

But give yourself time.. on your own.

 

I just don't want to believe it was just huge interest in the beginning as it hurts really badly. Yes, it came really really fast, his feelings, and I responded just as fast too. Although he says he was in love (now he says he WAS in love that is) it did go away fast so maybe you are right.. Just interest confused with love.. Yet he did say he was very, very into me. We texted a lot and he missed me if I went away working for 40 minutes, he texted me during the night saying he missed me. And it hurts so much he doesn't do it anymore. Doesn't miss me. He barely texts me now. Although we agreed to be friends and I know I hurt him, I just LOVE talking to him so very much. I miss him. I understand things changed and he can't be sweet with me anymore. But I miss it so much

But I wrote it really confusing in my post. I regret, hugely regret, coming back to my ex and then telling the new guy that. I was confused and thought I wanted my ex only. But then realized that I didn't. I was just confused. And I regret that because it hurt the new guy and he moved on and doesn't want me anymore. That's what I regret. As for my ex, we've been separated for 1,5 years now but we never stopped talking and yes, I couldn't move on and he made me conditions - a relationship in exchange of no fights. And for 1,5 years I was trying to do just that, cause no fights to deserve love. I just got used to it although it hurt me badly and we fought lots about it too - that he made me fight for him, a pun, when he never fought for me and only made me work for a relationship. But I can't cross him out and throw him out of my life. He's my best friend as he was there for me through many hardships, he talked to me when I was broke and anxious not being able to find a job, when my grandpa died in April, and my other things, small and big. We talk every day (text, very rare calls) and we come to each other for support. He feels like a family member, like a brother. I can't stop contact with him as he feels I'm his family too. But that's the thing. I've been single for 1,5 years now. I found someone I really really liked, I got scared and came back to my ex like a chained dog feeling like I was cheating. And when I did, when I told my ex about the new guy and he offered his thing again - don't cause fights then we'll have a chance, after I told the new guy that I agreed - only then I realized that I'm ready to move on. But now no one wants me, the new guy doesn't want me after what I had done. He moved on, I can't and don't really want to as I still have hopes to be with him.. So it hurts badly he doesn't want to be with me anymore.. I miss him, his smile and the way he was when he was in love

 

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why are you fighting so much?

 

With my ex? Surprisingly just about our relationship. He dumped me 1,5 years ago but we never stopped talking and supporting each other. But since he dumped me I couldn't move on and asked him to take me back multiple times. He never did but he made conditions - I don't cause fights and never am moody and then we might have a chance. Humiliating in a way. But each time he'd offer that it'd be through a fight. I wanted him to fight for me, I I kept saying it's not real love if it has to be conditional. He'd never give in, so I had to work on myself, be less moody and cause no fights. And for some time I would but then I'd come to him and it would turn out that not enough time has passed or still too many fights happen (when very few in my opinion) and then I would flip because of it, that it's not enough, that he won't take me back. And it'd start all over again. Now though I don't need it as I fell for someone else, at once.. 

 

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1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

Whoa, OP - slow down. 

Anyone saying they're in love with you after 14 days is not in an emotionally-stable place. And neither are you. You and this new guy are trying to fill pre-existing voids with each other, but it is not love. You hardly know each other. 

You're spinning because are you still in love with your ex and trying to forget about him by replacing him with another guy, but you can see that it doesn't work like that. The new guy is right to call this off, as you're clearly not ready to date anyone yet. But it likely would have crashed and burned anyway - way too intense, way too quickly. It's lust and fear of being alone, not love. 

Take time by yourself. Process this break-up. Cut contact with your ex. But don't date yet. It's going to be a disaster until you're over your ex. You won't attract the right type of guys until you're in a healthier emotional place.  

That's true, we hardly know each other and he actually said "I know it's been only two or three days since we met but I almost want to tell you I love you" and I felt similar. First I asked him that maybe it was just strong attraction and he said probably so. But after I made my mistake and jumped between him and my ex he said he was in love. Ah, I knew it anyway, I knew he was because I was too

But I've been single for 1,5 years now, I thought I wasn't over my ex and it cost me this potential new relationship to understand that I was over my ex. I truly am. I love my ex no more than a best friend or brother for all the support he gave me since we broke up. But the new guy won't take me back now and you say he's right to do so.. But I can't.. It hurts so badly that he won't, that he moved on, that he's not in love anymore (or whatever it was it's gone) but I'm not. My feelings for him remained and got bigger and are getting bigger. And so is the feeling of regret and pain.. 

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1 hour ago, CryingDuckie said:

 he made conditions - I don't cause fights and never am moody  it'd be through a fight. I wanted him to fight for me,  I had to work on myself, be less moody and cause no fights.  still too many fights happen 

You use the word "fight" a great deal. Do you have a tendency to be combative and moody?

An ex or new dating situation won't help that. You keep repeating yourself over and over and over. Fight, fight, fight.

How is your home life? Do you work/go to school? Do you get along with your parents? Why do you see your world as some kind of war?

Perhaps it's time to get evaluated by a physician about the moods, combativeness and all the other self respect problems.

Ongoing support from a qualified therapist would help you a lot more than hanging on to people who don't want you around.

 

Edited by Wiseman2
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8 hours ago, CryingDuckie said:

I was confused and thought I wanted my ex only. But then realized that I didn't. I was just confused.

Right.  You are confused.

For your ex to say to you NO arguments.. for a year (w/e), that's ridiculous!  Every couple argues.  That is expected!  But, I think it just became too much of it - he wasn't happy anymore.

 

As for this new one, I understand how much you enjoyed him & his company, but it was so 'short lived'.  No one comes to 'love' in that short of a time.  It was just words.. Love develops over time.  He did not love you, nor you, him... It was a fast action, excitement for you both.  But, in the end, it did end and BOOM - he's with someone else ... He's weird!  And not for YOU.

And, as it sounds, is you are still hugely into your ex anyways.. so this would not have worked for you. 

Okay, so you are single.. Does NOT mean no one will ever 'want you'.  This is your frame of mind right now because of these experiences you have had.

You can't be thinking of getting involved again anyways at this time.  you need to feel okay again, first! And you're not.

Not, until you know you are over your ex.. and not 'hurting' or wishing him back anymore.

So, all is up to you - I guess, if you feel you must remain as 'friends;, so you will (your choice) .. But, this is what often causes these ongoing issue's- because things have never been 'cut clean', to where you are truly away from him in order to heal properly.

Maybe, someday, you may feel okay again, will just take longer.

But, please remain single for a while.. no 'searching' because you're lonely.. or you will keep on feeling 'lost & hurt', as you already are?

One should never try to get involved again, UNTIL they know they have no more feelings for a past relation. - Then you CAN feel right and step into it whole heartedly.

 

 

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4 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

But, please remain single for a while.. no 'searching' because you're lonely.. or you will keep on feeling 'lost & hurt', as you already are?

One should never try to get involved again, UNTIL they know they have no more feelings for a past relation. - Then you CAN feel right and step into it whole heartedly.

 

Take this very good advice OP.

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Are either of these men the guy you were communicating with online who has a girlfriend? I hope not. I hope you stopped all communication with that cheater.

This new guy seems to be into fantasies rather than reality. No one falls in love in a day or two and then falls out of love that quickly. He's full of it. And your ex seems like he's impossible to please.

Neither is a good option, IMO.

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9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You use the word "fight" a great deal. Do you have a tendency to be combative and moody?

An ex or new dating situation won't help that. You keep repeating yourself over and over and over. Fight, fight, fight.

How is your home life? Do you work/go to school? Do you get along with your parents? Why do you see your world as some kind of war?

Perhaps it's time to get evaluated by a physician about the moods, combativeness and all the other self respect problems.

Ongoing support from a qualified therapist would help you a lot more than hanging on to people who don't want you around.

 

No, actually not, I wouldn't say I'm combative and wouldn't say I'm moody. I was very very stressed 1,5 years ago and picked up lots of fights with my ex. So he dumped me. Since then all the fights happened because he didn't want to take me without conditions. He said we would have a chance if only not fights. That has been kind of offensive ever since as if I don't deserve unconditional love 
Plus he says he doesn't want me out of his life, he says he wants to be there for me, support me. I don't hang on to him

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49 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Are either of these men the guy you were communicating with online who has a girlfriend? I hope not. I hope you stopped all communication with that cheater.

This new guy seems to be into fantasies rather than reality. No one falls in love in a day or two and then falls out of love that quickly. He's full of it. And your ex seems like he's impossible to please.

Neither is a good option, IMO.

Gosh no! I don't communicate with that lying cheater anymore and thanks to all the wise and kind people here! Can't believe how stupid I was back then, just a month ago. People here helped me tons to get him out of my head really fast and opened my eyes. But after I had a crush on him I felt really really guilty and confessed about it to my ex.. He said he needed time to process it but he was alright. As I was crying a lot and asking for forgiveness.. Even though he dumped me 1,5 years ago and I had a whole right to try move on
So this time as well, the exact thing happened.. I know it's really fast and not really love on both of our sides with this new guy, just strong attraction. But I got scared and confused and thought I only wanted to be with my ex. Turned out I wasn't, turned out I'm ready to move but it cost me something probably beautiful with the new guy. Yes, we fell for each other really quick and it disturbs me that he fell out of it just as quickly. But the thing is it's really hard as I've never had SO much in common with someone, not with anyone ever. Even though we really just met, we talked all days long first week and just couldn't get enough. I miss him being into me, missing me. Because he isn't into me now, doesn't miss me. But I'm hugely into him and miss him (we barely talk now as I bombarded him with "I'm sorry" messages and he  just didn't know what to say except that he can't control his feeling and can't come back. So it really hurts
But you made me smile saying my ex is impossible to please. I never thought of him like that but it's just so incredibly right! 

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1 hour ago, SooSad33 said:

Right.  You are confused.

For your ex to say to you NO arguments.. for a year (w/e), that's ridiculous!  Every couple argues.  That is expected!  But, I think it just became too much of it - he wasn't happy anymore.

 

As for this new one, I understand how much you enjoyed him & his company, but it was so 'short lived'.  No one comes to 'love' in that short of a time.  It was just words.. Love develops over time.  He did not love you, nor you, him... It was a fast action, excitement for you both.  But, in the end, it did end and BOOM - he's with someone else ... He's weird!  And not for YOU.

And, as it sounds, is you are still hugely into your ex anyways.. so this would not have worked for you. 

Okay, so you are single.. Does NOT mean no one will ever 'want you'.  This is your frame of mind right now because of these experiences you have had.

You can't be thinking of getting involved again anyways at this time.  you need to feel okay again, first! And you're not.

Not, until you know you are over your ex.. and not 'hurting' or wishing him back anymore.

So, all is up to you - I guess, if you feel you must remain as 'friends;, so you will (your choice) .. But, this is what often causes these ongoing issue's- because things have never been 'cut clean', to where you are truly away from him in order to heal properly.

Maybe, someday, you may feel okay again, will just take longer.

But, please remain single for a while.. no 'searching' because you're lonely.. or you will keep on feeling 'lost & hurt', as you already are?

One should never try to get involved again, UNTIL they know they have no more feelings for a past relation. - Then you CAN feel right and step into it whole heartedly.

 

 

I think so too! And I told him so many, many times - every couple fights. But he wants something impossible. But I just don't understand, if he's not happy anymore, why giving me hopes that we can be together if we stop fighting, why not release me from this sad and losing game. He keeps my near and I feel guilty each time I meet someone I might like, I feel chained. Yet I can't just throw him out as he feels like my best friend/brother to me. And he says the same about me. He says he wants to support me and be there for me. But you are right, I need to be really away to heal, to move on. But it's just impossible to do, I tried

The thing is, with this new guy I got scared and came back to my ex. And only after I lost the new guy (told him I agreed to try with the ex (just trying, my ex didn't ask me to be his girlfriend again but simply to e a good girl before I can apply to be a gf)) only then I realized that I'm ready to move. But the new guy won't take me back now, as he moved on, really really fast he moved on. But I felt very, very happy with him, whatever it really was, huge interest, attraction or what, I felt loved and very happy. I haven't felt that way in 1,5 years. I'm just tired of being single. Tired of working for a relationship. I needed to lose someone really nice and kind to understand I'm ready to move on and step into something whole heartedly. But that's the thing, I lost that someone really nice and kind, the new guy. I understand it happened really fast, we are just two 23y.o. kids who felt strongly for each other. But he doesn't feel that anymore, when I do. That's what hurts

 

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14 minutes ago, CryingDuckie said:

it cost me something probably beautiful with the new guy

It very likely didn't, actually. 

People who come on that strong so fast usually have issues, OP. Issues that make a real relationship very difficult or impossible. Or, they burn out and disappear as quickly as they crash-landed in your life. 

The chances that this would have developed into something beautiful are very slim. Dude souonds like he's got a couple screws loose. 

Edited by MissCanuck
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6 minutes ago, CryingDuckie said:

That's actually the first time I fell so quickly for someone..:(

But you fell quickly for the online cheater too. 

Instead of thinking you have to have a man in your life, how about taking some time off to figure out what you really want?

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