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CryingDuckie's Achievements


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  1. Thank you so very much... I wish one day to stop being so needy of male's attention. I'll try to be kind but that new guy is still in my thoughts, I wish he wasn't, I wish I wasn't tortured by regret too so I could really focus and start living for myself, at last.. But I will try my best..
  2. No, no.. With my ex we really do support each other. Whatever happens in my life I come to him to tell him about it, and he does the same. It's just up until recently I was also hoping to get back together with him. But I don't want anymore. We talked and I told him that he's like a big brother to me now, and he agreed he felt like this with me too. It's really difficult cuz I don't understand then why offering me to work and fight less for a possible relationship in the future. It is controlling, you are right.. I'm just used to cling on him.. And I thought the same! That he's either willing to try again or not! But he has his own logic. He needs no fights before he can try again. I never ever understood that. I moved on and want to be with someone else now (generally speaking) but it's just we can't cross out 4 years of support and stop talking for good.. And you are absolutely right.. I was happy to get affection from someone, and now that it's gone so fast, it's hard.. But I did pull back, went to my ex.. It seems so crazy to me too now It's just I've been longing for this affection for so long, it seems, that I can't even imagine waiting more:) But I think you are right, I'll be rereading your messages, and others too, whenever I feel my thoughts mingled and confused again. And I'll focus on myself some more. After all yeah I've been single for 1,5 years but all that time I was hoping to get back together with my ex. I don't know how to stop needing someone in my life, like to be involved with someone. But I'll try my best... And I'm so very, very grateful for the advice and the help! Thank you! Huge, huge thank you! I don't even know how to express it enough..
  3. I literally can't. I've know him for almost 4 years, dating for the first too. And since we met there wasn't a day that we wouldn't talk. Despite the fact I wasn't able to let go and stop hoping to get back together, we really do support each other a lot
  4. Knowing that makes me feel a lot better, that's true! But I wish there were ad things about him that I would know. As I know very little and it's all the things I like. So I kind of know he's unstable but otherwise a good and interesting person (as much as I know)
  5. I met him in person, yeah. But since I turned him away we only text
  6. For the new guy, yeah. I kinda like him a lot still, he moved on but I can't really do the same yet, although I realized a lot of things after posting my message here and getting so many wise replies.. Yet I keep thinking about him and can't help it. I have a very good job I was purely lucky to get and I love it, I've moved away from home when I was 16 and live far from my family. It's okay, I'm used to it and I visit my family once a year. But it's just because I've been single for 1,5 years I want to feel loved again, needed and wanted. I was happy reading messages from this new guy saying he missed me while I was sleeping, I felt happy that he wanted to spend time with me, look at me and talk to me. I have friends but I am very lonely
  7. Thank you so much.. All the feelings aside it sounds so logical, clear and smart. And it makes me feel a lot better that you and other people here say he's probably unstable. I hope it doesn't make me unstable but just desperate and lonely like you say.. As for the age, it just seemed like a nice fact to me. It's just all the major things I'm interested in, literature, guitar, piano, hiking, football, love for the cold, snow and mountains, some other little things - it's exactly what he does and loves too. And you are right, it's just on the surface. But I fell for it as I've never had this much in common with everyone, even if on the surface.. Thank you again for your reply, it made me head a lot clear! I still feel something for him as we keep chatting like friends but I feel a lot better after reaching out on here. A lot clearer. And such a beautiful saying about the sparks!!!
  8. I've heard of it, yes:) And you are right, it does seem like I was struck by such an arrow as it happened so fast and unexpected. And is a really cruel thing..
  9. If he isn't stable or sane, he's incredibly kind and interesting, warm and nice and we have tons in common. It hurts that I lost him, that my mistake gave him a push and killed any of his feelings for me.. I wouldn't turn him away for being unstable.. It doesn't define him as a person.. I think
  10. It took me a month to feel like I had a crush on that guy. But it wasn't strong, I felt okay. When I came to this site with that post it was already 10 months later after we met. And I was infected by suddenly contacting me.. I've been single and confused for 1,5 years now.. I know what I want, I want to feel loved..
  11. Even if so.. Why does it hurt so bad.. It's just we have so many things in common as we talked lots in the beginning, I fell in love with his smile we are even of the same age. He literally just texted me that all the romantic feelings are gone for him. It's just I can't stop sending him big messages saying how sorry I am and how much I regret.. He says "I'm so sorry you are hurting so much, but it's me who should be apologizing, not you". As I keep saying sorry for hurting him.. I'm just so so sad, each day is worse. I kinda felt like this with every guy, it seems stupid if I think about it but it's true. I liked very few guys in life, this new. Guy is the fourth but most definitely I have more things in common with him than with everyone else (even though I felt like this about everyone) but it's true, I do have more with him and it hurts to lose it. I felt so happy with him during first days.. We talk like friends and play chess online but it seems like it's everything he wants from me - play chess. But it hurts that I'm only a chess pal now. From being a very special girl for him (as he said that he never fell so quickly for anyone and I believe it) I'm now a chess pal. So fast and so rapid..
  12. That's actually the first time I fell so quickly for someone..:(
  13. I think so too! And I told him so many, many times - every couple fights. But he wants something impossible. But I just don't understand, if he's not happy anymore, why giving me hopes that we can be together if we stop fighting, why not release me from this sad and losing game. He keeps my near and I feel guilty each time I meet someone I might like, I feel chained. Yet I can't just throw him out as he feels like my best friend/brother to me. And he says the same about me. He says he wants to support me and be there for me. But you are right, I need to be really away to heal, to move on. But it's just impossible to do, I tried The thing is, with this new guy I got scared and came back to my ex. And only after I lost the new guy (told him I agreed to try with the ex (just trying, my ex didn't ask me to be his girlfriend again but simply to e a good girl before I can apply to be a gf)) only then I realized that I'm ready to move. But the new guy won't take me back now, as he moved on, really really fast he moved on. But I felt very, very happy with him, whatever it really was, huge interest, attraction or what, I felt loved and very happy. I haven't felt that way in 1,5 years. I'm just tired of being single. Tired of working for a relationship. I needed to lose someone really nice and kind to understand I'm ready to move on and step into something whole heartedly. But that's the thing, I lost that someone really nice and kind, the new guy. I understand it happened really fast, we are just two 23y.o. kids who felt strongly for each other. But he doesn't feel that anymore, when I do. That's what hurts
  14. Gosh no! I don't communicate with that lying cheater anymore and thanks to all the wise and kind people here! Can't believe how stupid I was back then, just a month ago. People here helped me tons to get him out of my head really fast and opened my eyes. But after I had a crush on him I felt really really guilty and confessed about it to my ex.. He said he needed time to process it but he was alright. As I was crying a lot and asking for forgiveness.. Even though he dumped me 1,5 years ago and I had a whole right to try move on So this time as well, the exact thing happened.. I know it's really fast and not really love on both of our sides with this new guy, just strong attraction. But I got scared and confused and thought I only wanted to be with my ex. Turned out I wasn't, turned out I'm ready to move but it cost me something probably beautiful with the new guy. Yes, we fell for each other really quick and it disturbs me that he fell out of it just as quickly. But the thing is it's really hard as I've never had SO much in common with someone, not with anyone ever. Even though we really just met, we talked all days long first week and just couldn't get enough. I miss him being into me, missing me. Because he isn't into me now, doesn't miss me. But I'm hugely into him and miss him (we barely talk now as I bombarded him with "I'm sorry" messages and he just didn't know what to say except that he can't control his feeling and can't come back. So it really hurts But you made me smile saying my ex is impossible to please. I never thought of him like that but it's just so incredibly right!
  15. No, actually not, I wouldn't say I'm combative and wouldn't say I'm moody. I was very very stressed 1,5 years ago and picked up lots of fights with my ex. So he dumped me. Since then all the fights happened because he didn't want to take me without conditions. He said we would have a chance if only not fights. That has been kind of offensive ever since as if I don't deserve unconditional love Plus he says he doesn't want me out of his life, he says he wants to be there for me, support me. I don't hang on to him
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