Addiction to alcohol

[Lambert]

So i guess every post is now being updated to advertise someone else's website.  Great.  

[boltnrun]

9 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Yes that does scare me what you said. I wouldn't want to push my family and friends away if I got to the point that I was a pretty bad alcoholic and drank all the time. I would hate to end up all alone.

You say your goal is to be married and have children.  Your drinking is basically preventing that from happening.  A decent man won't want to have children with a woman who is addicted to alcohol and actively drinking.  And you can't make good relationship decisions while drunk.

So maybe you don't really want marriage and children?

And you don't have to drink "all the time" to be a "pretty bad" alcoholic.  You know this.  If you're thinking about drinking when you're not drinking...well, non-addicts do not think about drinking when they're not drinking.

What do you tell yourself when you buy or open those bottles of wine?  That it's "OK"?  That it won't matter?  That "it's just one bottle"? Or you'll have "just one glass"?  How do you justify continuing to drink to yourself?

It's concerning how you're affecting your health with the excessive drinking and addiction to alcohol.  At some point your liver will fail and you will be hospitalized like my grandfather and my friend.  Apparently it's a very painful death.  I'm sure you don't want that.  No one wants that for you either.

[Tonight.majestic]

On 6/4/2021 at 8:35 AM, Andrina said:

After that many years of unsuccessful trying, I'd try in-house treatment or at least outpatient. On one side of my family, alcoholism runs rampant. One cousin went through detox and he's been sober for about 8 years. He and another relative went to AA. At least 4 of my relatives who have been sober for many years are all a million times happier. There are usually hotlines wherever you live to direct you to treatment centers. I'd begin with some research on what's available in your area. Take care. 

Alcoholism is such an ugly addiction to have. 

My ex has several alcoholics on his side, including extended family, and it was so ugly to see, especially when they'd show up half drunk to family gatherings. 

But you can't pick your family. 

 

[LaHermes]

13 hours ago, Tinydance said:

I ended up eating more at night and it's not good to eat a lot at night so I didn't really lose any weight.

That has become some sort of unwritten law, for some reason, Tiny.  I am a slim person, and dinner (night) is the best meal of the day for me.  However, lunch tends to be skimpy, simply because I am not hungry at lunchtime. Breakfast, at most, coffee and a croissant or a piece of toast. That's it.  I never eat between meals, well maybe an apple or a banana. 

It is important not eat just because it is a certain hour of the day, (as in its 2 p.m. and we HAVE to have lunch NOW) but only to eat when you feel hungry. 

 

[Tonight.majestic]

Tiny, 

The important thing is to keep going forward, even if you do slip up. 

Those people that haven't had a drink in 20 or 30 years, some of them didn't, others might have slipped up. 

I've never dealt with alcohol addiction, so I don't know. But I've struggled with weight and sugar (I'm not overweight, just 10 lbs above my 20s weight). 

I've slipped up on IF for 6 months (yep), lost 15 lbs after my breakup and then gained it all back. So I'm going back on it again, with slip ups and all. 

Try setting small goals. Don't think, I'll be doing this forever. Think, one less drink tonight. Maybe download an app to track your progress. 

[Tonight.majestic]

5 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

That has become some sort of unwritten law, for some reason, Tiny.  I am a slim person, and dinner (night) is the best meal of the day for me.  However, lunch tends to be skimpy, simply because I am not hungry at lunchtime. Breakfast, at most, coffee and a croissant or a piece of toast. That's it.  I never eat between meals, well maybe an apple or a banana. 

It is important not eat just because it is a certain hour of the day, (as in its 2 p.m. and we HAVE to have lunch NOW) but only to eat when you feel hungry. 

 

Also, cutting out sugar. 

Studies show it's the sugar, not the fat, that puts on our waist line. 

Darn it. 

[LaHermes]

Sugar is the worst. I agree. Fortunately I don't like sweet stuff. Have never even taken sugar in my tea or coffee. And I don't like chocolate. 

However, I am not crowing because my slimness is genetic. It's in the family. They eat like gannets but remain slim.  Meaning the engine is burning the fuel up properly.

If at an event like a birthday party where it would be churlish to refuse a bit of the cake, of course I accept a sliver (and then push it around my plate lol)  No one notices. 

But undoubtedly there are people who are "addicted" (so to speak) to sweet things.  Only the other day I saw (and this is nothing new) a truly very overweight woman laying into a humungous load of ice-cream, with a huge slice of some dangerous looking cake on the plate beside her. 

 

 

 

[boltnrun]

I have an overweight friend who said "I eat my feelings".  

Tiny, do you drink your feelings?  What are the feelings that trigger you to drink?  And why is avoiding or numbing these feelings more important than your very life?

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

Sugar is the worst. I agree. Fortunately I don't like sweet stuff. Have never even taken sugar in my tea or coffee. And I don't like chocolate. 

However, I am not crowing because my slimness is genetic. It's in the family. They eat like gannets but remain slim.  Meaning the engine is burning the fuel up properly.

If at an event like a birthday party where it would be churlish to refuse a bit of the cake, of course I accept a sliver (and then push it around my plate lol)  No one notices. 

But undoubtedly there are people who are "addicted" (so to speak) to sweet things.  Only the other day I saw (and this is nothing new) a truly very overweight woman laying into a humungous load of ice-cream, with a huge slice of some dangerous looking cake on the plate beside her. 

 

 

 

I think it’s fine for an obese person to eat whatever he or she wants at a party without judgment or assumptions that she does this regularly.  Or is addicted.  

[LaHermes]

I have no idea what you are talking about B.

I said I would accept a sliver of cake at a birthday for the sake of good manners.

 

The ice-cream and cake lady was in a public place (café).

No debate, please. 

 

 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, LaHermes said:

I have no idea what you are talking about B.

I said I would accept a sliver of cake at a birthday for the sake of good manners.

 

The ice-cream and cake lady was in a public place (café).

No debate, please. 

 

 

You commented on the fact that an overweight woman was eating a lot of cake. I’m not sure why that’s something to point out - you’re making  negative assumptions.  She’s entitled to eat if she feels like it.  Different from someone getting drunk then you see them get behind the wheel. I’m thin and I’ve endured judgments for what I choose to eat - it’s not a good feeling. No debate. I feel badly for overweight people who should be able to eat in public without judgment.  I know you didn’t say anything to her !

[Capricorn3]

17 hours ago, Tinydance said:

 I'm 36 years old and I really want to have a partner and have kids, to have a family. It just really upsets me that it hasn't happened for me.

I do realise though that the drinking would be jeopardising my relationship even if I was in one because nobody likes to date an alcoholic.

Tiny, I am really intrigued with your comments above.  I would have thought the very fact that you recognizing that being an alcoholic will more than likely jeopardise a relationship and chances of having kids and a family etc, would be enough incentive for you to go to rehab and make a very serious effort at all avenues open to you to quit drinking?  (Rehab, AA etc).

I'm really struggling to understand this. One would think the sooner you get sober the sooner you'll have a chance at a healthy and stable relationship to finally have the kids you long for.  (And you need to be 100% sober in order to start a family in the first place - drinking while pregnant WILL harm the baby you carry and is extremely irresponsible, together with drinking/drunk while around your baby/child). 

If having marriage and children (what you long for) is not enough incentive to give up drinking, then what is? I don't get it. 😕