Am I being scammed?...

[Wiseman2]

43 minutes ago, Gringo79 said:

I have been chatting with a girl from South America for over a month. “we haven't even met yet”

A lot depends on how you started chatting, where and who contacted whom. Is this a dating site? If so why did you choose someone 1000s of miles away?

After chatting 4 weeks you're getting ahead of yourself talking about moving to a place you've never  been to a person you've chatted with for 30 days and never met.

 Slow your roll. Fist figure out what's going on. You need to ask yourself why she is bothering with someone so far away.

[Gringo79]

11 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I'm in Australia so we don't have that many Latino people here. But are you sure you're not just stereotyping? Researching about a particular partner you want just seems a bit odd to me....

I guess in the past I've read articles online about "how to find your soulmate" and things along those lines, but I've never read articles like "How to date a British guy" lol

I understand some countries have a distinct culture but still not everyone just fits the same mould. It sounds to me a bit like you just have this Latina woman "fetish". I don't mean sexual sorry but you have the thing for Latina women so you researched them and are going to travel to this woman's country basically based on the fact she's Latina. To me it just seems like a successful relationship is one that happens naturally and not just based on having a thing for a certain nationality. Like, just getting out and about and meeting women and starting to get a connection as you get to know them.

Yes, I understand where you're coming from and how my situation sounds. Yes, I am attracted to latina women, but I also love all women. I'm purely basing this instance with the idea that I think this girl is beautiful to me, and from what she is saying she has a beautiful heart/soul and have developed feelings for her. I've only been reading about the "stereotypes" since after meeting her because I'm trying to figure out why she would want a gringo like me, what her culture is like, or something to help decide which way my gut feeling should go. 

However, I did go on a date a few months ago with a mexican latina who grew up in TX but lives in my state. Somehow the topic came up and she insisted will NEVER date a hispanic man because of "how they are" which I've heard and read about a number of times from other latina's  

[itsallgrand]

14 minutes ago, Gringo79 said:

HAHA good point and also in consideration...I virtually had my bags packed to move south to FL, then Covid hit and killed the industry I'm working in, it's rebounding but stalled. So while the world was on lockdown I go onto a Latin Only dating website thinking I would potentially find someone to meet and likely they might want to move to the US. Likewise, I've always wanted to travel to latin countries so it seemed like it could be an opportunity. Well, I can't help that I developed feelings for this girl after talking with her for a month to find out she may not want to move to the US. Which might be fine, South America is getting better and more developed, and if I could find stable work in one of those countries and learn to speak the language, I would have no trouble relocating.

I think you should hold off and when things get better (totally understand why moving was tricky this year!) move to Florida! Or somewhere else that suits your fancy in the U. S. 

I wouldn't get too caught up in this particular situation. Sure, it's a nice distraction. But careful.. I think there's good reason to be cautious. 

Just my opinion. Good luck. 

[Kwothe28]

13 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I think African guys are hot and I'm an unmarried 36-year-old woman with no kids. But I don't want a mail order husband lol

African couples on that show are weird. Its usually 50 year old big American woman and tiny African dude usually twice as young. There were few Australians, one lesbian couple and one guy who was some kind of dating/motivational coach who dated some American girl. They were really hot so there you never know, maybe its just attraction. Asian girls are usually OK. But Latinas and Russian girls are usually trouble. Really hot and only in it for green card. Hence why I mentioned its totally show situation. But you never know, maybe OP met a genuine one. The ones on the show are usually jobless with few kids from previous marriage. 

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, Gringo79 said:

Yes, I understand where you're coming from and how my situation sounds. Yes, I am attracted to latina women, but I also love all women. I'm purely basing this instance with the idea that I think this girl is beautiful to me, and from what she is saying she has a beautiful heart/soul and have developed feelings for her. I've only been reading about the "stereotypes" since after meeting her because I'm trying to figure out why she would want a gringo like me, what her culture is like, or something to help decide which way my gut feeling should go. 

However, I did go on a date a few months ago with a mexican latina who grew up in TX but lives in my state. Somehow the topic came up and she insisted will NEVER date a hispanic man because of "how they are" which I've heard and read about a number of times from other latina's  

Well in answer to your original question...It doesn't seem like she's scamming you because she hasn't asked for anything from you. YET. I mean, most scammers won't ask for something straight away. Straight away nobody would give them anything. They need to work the person first lol Having said that, she might not be a scammer. The only problem is, when can you actually visit her? With COVID it might take months. Even a year. It would be fine to just fly to her country if we didn't have COVID but I don't see how you can travel to her in COVID?

[Gringo79]

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

A lot depends on how you started chatting, where and who contacted whom. Is this a dating site? If so why did you choose someone 1000s of miles away?

After chatting 4 weeks you're getting ahead of yourself talking about moving to a place you've never  been to a person you've chatted with for 30 days and never met.

 Slow your roll. Fist figure out what's going on. You need to ask yourself why she is bothering with someone so far away.

I agree with you 100%. 

Before I met this girl, I had been planning on moving south, like FL. But also really liked the idea of living in a latin american country. 

Either way I've already told her it would be a while before I would consider visiting her because I do want to learn more Spanish, get some things done here in the US, etc...so maybe I might entertain a 3-day vacation/trip to see what she is about. I don't have relatives or really any other friends who are willing to go on a vaction otherwise, so why not go somewhere I've always wanted to visit where there is someone willing to meet me and show me her country for a few days. Those are my thoughts anyway.  

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said:

African couples on that show are weird. Its usually 50 year old big American woman and tiny African dude usually twice as young. There were few Australians, one lesbian couple and one guy who was some kind of dating/motivational coach who dated some American girl. They were really hot so there you never know, maybe its just attraction. Asian girls are usually OK. But Latinas and Russian girls are usually trouble. Really hot and only in it for green card. Hence why I mentioned its totally show situation. But you never know, maybe OP met a genuine one. The ones on the show are usually jobless with few kids from previous marriage. 

To be honest I just get suspicious of people who are really attractive but they're looking for someone from another (more well off) country. Surely they can easily meet someone in their own country. So there seems to be some kind of ulterior motive...

[Gringo79]

4 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

I think you should hold off and when things get better (totally understand why moving was tricky this year!) move to Florida! Or somewhere else that suits your fancy in the U. S. 

I wouldn't get too caught up in this particular situation. Sure, it's a nice distraction. But careful.. I think there's good reason to be cautious. 

Just my opinion. Good luck. 

Yes, I agree, part of my mind is definitely suspicious. But so far I don't see anything where she might be caught up with some bad scheme. She works at an international airport 60 hours a week, she is un uniform like all the other people you see at an airport dressed up nicely. So from her appearance or her presentation, she's just like any other average good working person of society.

[Gringo79]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

To be honest I just get suspicious of people who are really attractive but they're looking for someone from another (more well off) country. Surely they can easily meet someone in their own country. So there seems to be some kind of ulterior motive...

I cannot disagree with you.

[lostandhurt]

It looks like you met on a dating site correct?

Did she message you or did you message her first?

How many children does she have?

Has she ever been married?

Would you be expected to take her parents in?

  The old saying goes here I think.  If it seems to good to be true it probably is.

 That of course doesn't mean she isn't really looking for an American man to fall in love with just like you are looking for a Latin woman. 

A couple of things you need to be careful of: Make sure you have good anti virus software on your computer.  Scammers can embed a virus in the meta data in pictures and videos and then later get control and find banking info, passwords and the like.  Beautiful women have been and are still used to sell things to men so be cautious. 

Talk on the phone as much as possible so you can get a feel for her true self and if in a few months you are still interested take a short vacation and go visit her.  Be clear on where she lives and check with the American embassy to make sure the area is safe.

 You are right to be skeptical...

Lost

[SooSad33]

29 minutes ago, Gringo79 said:

So while the world was on lockdown I go onto a Latin Only dating website thinking I would potentially find someone to meet and likely they might want to move to the US. Likewise, I've always wanted to travel to latin countries so it seemed like it could be an opportunity. Well, I can't help that I developed feelings for this girl after talking with her for a month to find out she may not want to move to the US. Which might be fine, South America is getting better and more developed, and if I could find stable work in one of those countries and learn to speak the language, I would have no trouble relocating.

 

You do realize.. at this time, it's all 'Grand' for you.

You are way ahead of yourself- and it's all just 'lust'.  You have a ways to go, before you can surely say, this is all good.

You two both need more time to learn about each other.  One month is nothing!  See if you still feel the same in 6 months.

No one knows how the other is 'behind closed doors', or personally.. of IF you even are truly compatible..

I say, before YOU even consider anything ( of what you are thinking 'fantasy', you slow it all down and breathe ). You're just 'assuming' as everyone does, when they come across someone so cool & fascinating.  Go easy here!

You need much more time here to learn of her.  Do not assume anything at all, at one month.

And also remember.. so often long distance does not go well. ( I'm also curious.. as to why SHE is on these 'distant' type dating sites?  Is she scoping out 'potentials' with men from the US?).

Just tread carefully and keep your 'heart' out of this for a while.  Last thing you want/need is to be led on to fails, lies, be used, etc.

 

 

[Gringo79]

2 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

 

You do realize.. at this time, it's all 'Grand' for you.

You are way ahead of yourself- and it's all just 'lust'.  You have a ways to go, before you can surely say, this is all good.

You two both need more time to learn about each other.  One month is nothing!  See if you still feel the same in 6 months.

No one knows how the other is 'behind closed doors', or personally.. of IF you even are truly compatible..

I say, before YOU even consider anything ( of what you are thinking 'fantasy', you slow it all down and breathe ). You're just 'assuming' as everyone does, when they come across someone so cool & fascinating.  Go easy here!

You need much more time here to learn of her.  Do not assume anything at all, at one month.

And also remember.. so often long distance does not go well.

Just tread carefully and keep your 'heart' out of this for a while.  Last thing you want/need is to be led on to fails, lies, be used, etc.

 

 

Thank you...I truly appreciate your thoughts. And you are 100% accurate.

[Tinydance]

I hate to be a kill joy but I'm thinking that because you can't really visit her due to COVID, it might fizzle out...I don't know how things are going with COVID on your end but in my city in Australia we are in our 4th "house arrest" lockdown lol I don't think we'll be able to travel overseas until next year. I'm not sure that a purely online relationship can survive this long...But if you're lonely in lockdown it probably won't hurt to talk to a beautiful lady.

[smackie9]

It doesn't have to be money they are after...but a green card.

If it's too good to be true, most likely it is. The love bombing on her end is concerning.

have you not watched the news about the huge immigration from South America? that should tell you something.

[Gringo79]

4 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

It looks like you met on a dating site correct?

Did she message you or did you message her first?

How many children does she have?

Has she ever been married?

Would you be expected to take her parents in?

  The old saying goes here I think.  If it seems to good to be true it probably is.

 That of course doesn't mean she isn't really looking for an American man to fall in love with just like you are looking for a Latin woman. 

A couple of things you need to be careful of: Make sure you have good anti virus software on your computer.  Scammers can embed a virus in the meta data in pictures and videos and then later get control and find banking info, passwords and the like.  Beautiful women have been and are still used to sell things to men so be cautious. 

Talk on the phone as much as possible so you can get a feel for her true self and if in a few months you are still interested take a short vacation and go visit her.  Be clear on where she lives and check with the American embassy to make sure the area is safe.

 You are right to be skeptical...

Lost

Thank you, that was very spot on. And wow, yeah I didn't give too much thought about the virus potential! 

[Gringo79]

1 minute ago, smackie9 said:

It doesn't have to be money they are after...but a green card.

If it's too good to be true, most likely it is. The love bombing on her end is concerning.

Yes, I agree 100%

[Gringo79]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I hate to be a kill joy but I'm thinking that because you can't really visit her due to COVID, it might fizzle out...I don't know how things are going with COVID on your end but in my city in Australia we are in our 4th "house arrest" lockdown lol I don't think we'll be able to travel overseas until next year. I'm not sure that a purely online relationship can survive this long...But if you're lonely in lockdown it probably won't hurt to talk to a beautiful lady.

Fortunately things are fairly normalized where I am at. I asked her about it and in their city things are opening back up as people are getting vaccinated. But yeah, it'll be a few months if I even decide to travel there and I think she understands that.

[Tinydance]

5 minutes ago, Gringo79 said:

Fortunately things are fairly normalized where I am at. I asked her about it and in their city things are opening back up as people are getting vaccinated. But yeah, it'll be a few months if I even decide to travel there and I think she understands that.

Well I would recommend going to her country as soon as possible. Just talking online and video can be a waste of time. You need to meet in real life.

[lostandhurt]

Take it slow and be smart.

 Do some research about where she lives and then bring things up in conversation and she if it sounds right.  She could be some woman in California as far as you know.

  I have read about scammers taking months to get to the score they really want so don't think time chatting equates to reality.

I hope you meet someone but in the mean time enjoy your life.

Lost

[limichelle]

I don’t know… but then I’m skeptical about long distance and when you go from fantasy to reality. I was in a long distance relationship with someone and when we met it was disappointing.  Also if you feel she could be a scammer even though right now things are good, doesn’t mean you’re not far off from your gut instinct. Listen closely to it! 
 

 

[Gringo79]

10 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well I would recommend going to her country as soon as possible. Just talking online and video can be a waste of time. You need to meet in real life.

Yeah, I mean I would love to visit her country, I've always wanted to even before I met her so it would be sort of a win-win potentially but I don't want to end up being robbed ... or worse. 

But in all sincerity, she's is either genuinely honest or is very good at deception. The more I learn about her, she seems very honest. I really can't call her out on anything at this point.   

[Tinydance]

Just now, limichelle said:

I don’t know… but then I’m skeptical about long distance and when you go from fantasy to reality. I was in a long distance relationship with someone and when we met it was disappointing.  Also if you feel she could be a scammer even though right now things are good, doesn’t mean you’re not far off from your gut instinct. Listen closely to it! 
 

 

I guess online relationships can work in some cases but they need to transition to in person ASAP. Just talking online and on video doesn't really translate to real life 

[Gringo79]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

I guess online relationships can work in some cases but they need to transition to in person ASAP. Just talking online and on video doesn't really translate to real life 

I agree with you 100%...there's only so far it can go over the phone and quickly loses momentum once burned out from the same texts and videos. 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Gringo79 said:

 but I don't want to end up being robbed ... or worse. 

True. Make sure you come back with both your kidneys if you're going to Columbia.

[Tinydance]

Just now, Gringo79 said:

Yeah, I mean I would love to visit her country, I've always wanted to even before I met her so it would be sort of a win-win potentially but I don't want to end up being robbed ... or worse. 

But in all sincerity, she's is either genuinely honest or is very good at deception. The more I learn about her, she seems very honest. I really can't call her out on anything at this point.   

Are you also dating other women or talking to other women? If you're enjoying talking to her and you plan to visit her soon, by all means keep going. But if I was you I would be dating others too. I was actually talking online and video calling with a guy in my state, but he lived in a rural area four hours drive away. After about three months we met in person and the date did not go well and he wasn't interested. He liked me enough on video calls but in real life he just didn't feel it. I don't think you should get too attached to this woman until you actually meet her. Keep in mind too that when someone is attractive, our mind automatically assumes they are nice and good. I think you need to try to separate appearances from who someone truly is as a person.