Anxiety Help - Journal

[boltnrun]

One thing that really annoys me is when people put their hands on my personal property. The maintenance guy came by to fix my heater and he put his grubby hands on the arm of my fabric couch to lower himself to the floor and again to get back up. Gross. Now I've been avoiding touching that part of the couch until a few days go by because I don't have any Lysol spray. 

And yes, I know I'm being unreasonable and even irrational. But with my Covid anxiety I really would prefer he not do that. Ugh.

I have a therapy appointment next week. I want to work on letting go of these irrational fears. I'm stuck on what the experts said at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone said you got Covid from surfaces. Even though I know that's basically been debunked I can't seem to get it out of my head. And I want it out.

[boltnrun]

Noisy disruptive neighbors yelling before 7:00 AM this morning.

In one apartment is a couple who has yelling arguments at least every week or two.  The woman also always has her phone on speaker with the volume turned up all the way and has phone conversations in the common area early in the morning, disrupting everyone.  She gets into fights with her friends who visit too and she yells and curses and doesn't seem to care that some people have young children who don't need to be hearing that kind of language.

In another apartment is a couple where the woman allowed her boyfriend to move in and they also get into yelling arguments.  The boyfriend doesn't have a job and just picks up odd work every so often (he told me this himself).  And yet he yells at her to pack her sh*t and get out or he tells her she wouldn't be anywhere without him.  Even though she's the one with the job and the apartment. One time I heard her begging him to unlock the door and let her in and once he did she was cooing at him asking him if he was OK.  After which he proceeded to yell at her.  He's showing obvious signs of being on drugs too.  He stays up all night doing "projects" in the apartment and runs the power drill at 6:00 AM.  I also see him digging in the trash dumpsters pulling out wood and furniture people have thrown away.  Not sure what he's doing with that.  He's pleasant to me and always says hello, but they live literally 30 feet away so I can hear everything.  This morning they were fighting before 7:00 AM and they were cursing at one another and calling each other awful names.  Then they went back inside, I guess to argue some more or maybe to make up, who knows.

I like living here and I like my apartment but these people are making it unpleasant.  I know some people have complained to the management company but I don't know what they can do other than tell them to be quiet.  Management company isn't shy about evicting people, since I've lived here they've evicted two tenants.

Anyway...of course with the time change I woke up at what was 6:00 AM before but is now 5:00 AM.  But I like this time change better than when we "lose" an hour.  That's always rough.

[boltnrun]

You know, I do feel bad for the homeless people but it's difficult to not get upset when some of them go around dumping out the trash from the garbage cans so they can go through it and then just leave the trash scattered all over.  I just saw someone do that and I yelled at him to clean up his mess.  Of course he ignored me and walked away.  That is one reason why people get so angry at the homeless and want them rounded up and brought to shelters.

I know not all of them do that, but now there's a huge mess and the city workers are going to have to clean it up.  I've gone out there and cleaned up multiple times and the next day (or even the same day) there's a big mess again.  Sanitation won't clean up the trash that's not in the dumpsters either (and they shouldn't have to).

Today has started out to be a frustrating day.  I'm not angry, just annoyed.

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Today has started out to be a frustrating day.

Sounds like it, jeez!

I have an aggravating neighbor across the hall. But he's a cop here in town, so there's not much I can do about it.  I'm sort of used to him at this point and if I start going on about his antics now, I'll just piss myself off again lol.

I used to have an aggravating neighbor directly upstairs. I guess when he was 18, his mom decided to move to the city to be closer to work (she's an investment banker) and left him to be an adult here by himself. Of course, to an 18-year old, "being an adult" means "being an even bigger child." So, a lot of absurd things happened.

He was clearly desperate for a girlfriend because he settled on some godawful rage-filled wench that seemed to make a point to act as vile as possible. My guess is that they were both hopeless dorks in high school who finally found freedom to express themselves in this kid's apartment. 

I felt like I was living in a dorm sometimes. We had to deal with some really gross things that I won't describe here. We finally called the landlord and complained about them. The kid was actually very apologetic, but his girlfriend was just out of control. She had hysterical sobbing fits in the middle of the night. When she locked everyone out, she rang everyone's doorbell until someone let her in.

The landlord finally evicted them and upgraded the apartment. The super told us that they drank too much. They lived in filth. The kid's mother came in on weekends and cleaned up after them. Apparently not enough because he said it was disgusting.

Good riddance!

Now we have a nice, quiet tenant up there.

[boltnrun]

I don't understand people who leave their clothes in the laundry room for literally days. A blanket has been on the table for two weeks. Other people put their clothes in the dryer and then go to work. No consideration for others at all. 

I don't like removing their clothes from the machines because the last time I did that the person walked in right when I was removing them and they yelled at me. Well, you're the one who left them in here for three hours! They said "I was just getting them out now!" Yeah, three hours after the machine stopped!

My favorite was the person who left a note saying, sorry but I had to leave, I'll be back at 12-ish! And it was 9:00 am. 

I got spoiled having my own in unit laundry in my previous state. All apartments had it. None of them have it here. Not a one. It's actually considered a luxury to have a laundry room instead of having to go to the laundromat.

[Jibralta]

I used to have a couple neighbors like that. Husband and wife. Youngish--late 20s/early 30s. At first, we just waited for them to remove their clothes from the machine. But it happened so regularly and for so long that at some point, we started taking their clothes out and putting them on the table in the laundry room.

I knew it always the same people because they had a white plastic laundry basket that they would leave in the laundry room along with their clothes. One day, I took a big fat black permanent marker and wrote "INCONSIDERATE" on the rim. My boyfriend and I started referring to them as The Inconsiderati.

The next time I saw their laundry basket, "INCONSIDERATE" had been covered with white stickers, like address labels or something! That still makes me laugh! Here's an idea, if you don't like to see the word INCONSIDERATE on your laundry basket, come and get your laundry on time! 

I think things got better after that. They moved away a while ago, so my memory is a little bit fuzzy. But the laundry basket branding seemed to make them slightly more conscious of what they looked like to their neighbors. I think they scurried in and out as fast as possible so that nobody could identify them by their laundry basket lol.

[boltnrun]

I'm a contract worker employed through a staffing agency. For some reason, this week they decided to block my manager from being able to approve my time sheet. Which means I didn't get paid. They say my only two options are to wait until next Friday if I want direct deposit or they can mail me a pay card which will also take a week. They refuse to just fix their error and pay me immediately. Manager got involved and all they're saying is they are working on getting it resolved "shortly".

It's illegal to not pay an employee for their worked hours. 

I just sent them another email. They're in Michigan so who knows if they're even still in the office (almost 5pm there).

Not cool.

[Seraphim]

Wow! That is brutal I hope it gets sorted out. Fast!!

[boltnrun]

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Wow! That is brutal I hope it gets sorted out. Fast!!

They are going to overnight me a pay card. They say they "can't" do a direct deposit (lie...I've done payroll and they absolutely can). 

Only reason I'm somewhat accepting of this is I know my manager forgot to approve my time sheet which he's done many times. I think they locked him out because he's forgotten so many times they thought he wasn't doing it anymore.

[Seraphim]

Dear god, 🙄🙄😵‍💫😵‍💫

[reinventmyself]

Going on Indeed a lot lately and reading so many reviews of employees fighting to get paid.  Good grief.

Everyone's lost their mind.  The fact that money isn't coming directly from payroll, yet a pay card sounds a little like a shell game on their part.  Cooking their books, so to speak.   

Suppose it doesn't matter, as long as you get paid.

[Jibralta]

6 hours ago, reinventmyself said:

The fact that money isn't coming directly from payroll, yet a pay card sounds a little like a shell game on their part.  Cooking their books, so to speak. 

Yeah... weird!

[boltnrun]

The pay card is an option for people who don't have bank accounts. Which is a surprisingly large number of people, especially with employment agencies.

They have been giving me the run around all day. Haven't confirmed that anything has been processed or sent. They are now gone for the weekend and I have no pay. I am going to the client's HR department and my manager to escalate but can't do that until Monday. The client has been paying the invoices for my work, so they will probably wonder what the agency did with that money.

I'm hoping the client will be worried enough that I might quit over not getting paid  they'll make me a direct offer!

[Jibralta]

Is your staffing agency not paying you, or is the company that you're contracted with not paying you?

[boltnrun]

The staffing agency.  The agency submits an invoice to the company I'm contracted with and they pay it.  The staffing agency is supposed to pay me with those funds.  I have no idea what they did with the money but they sure didn't pay me with it.

My manager asked me once if I'd be interested in working directly with the company.  Of course I said yes.  I'm hoping this might help push things along if they're thinking in that direction.

[boltnrun]

The recent ridiculous heat wave meant I haven't been sleeping well (no AC). Thankfully it cooled down overnight. And the result was I slept fantastic last night. Slept almost all the way through to my alarm which seldom happens. It was glorious.

I did have an odd dream, but I always have odd dreams. This one was a bit more odd. But not a bad dream.

So this morning I had to go move my car before I signed into work at 7:30 am (street sweeping). I saw the man who is one half of the couple who were screaming curse words and calling one another horrible names weekend before last apparently moving out. They've been laying low for the past 10 days or so, I only heard him a few times and her not at all.  It's probably for the best. When she's screaming "Eff you b**ch" and he's screaming "Eff you wh***", the relationship is probably toast. I think he's on drugs. He comes home at odd hours throughout the night (unfortunately in this building you can hear everything) and he was always working on projects in the wee hours (signs of meth use). He has that look too. He has always been very polite and pleasant to me but I think it's good he left. Now if the other fighting couple can just stop! A nice looking couple just moved in next door to them and it would be a shame if they had to hear yelling all the time.

Working from home has been a blessing but it does mean I see and hear much more than I normally would!

BTW I finally got my pay card and transferred the funds to my bank account. Hope they don't try to pull that on anyone ever again.

[boltnrun]

These winds and the accompanying heat wave are really messing me up. Headache, stuffy then runny nose, sneezing. I want to be better by Thanksgiving because I'm supposed to spend it with my brother and his kids. I know they'll look at me sideways if I show up sneezing and blowing my nose. I won't go if I'm still feeling sick. Damn allergies...

[Seraphim]

We have snow . I hope you feel better by then ! 

[boltnrun]

No hot water in my apartment building. Good thing is I work from home so I don't have to go into the office grimy. But I do need to go out after work for errands. They need to turn it back on immediately. I called and emailed.

I am feeling better today. Still sneezing and have a runny nose but the winds are still high.

[boltnrun]

(NOT) Welcome back, insomnia! Got about 4 hours last night pieced together in small segments. Fortunately work didn't require me to enter anything complex or I might not have gotten it right. And that's just not an option.

[boltnrun]

I don't know if I should buy my MIL a Christmas gift.

I've been divorced from her son (kids father) for about 20 years, but she and I always remained close. We always exchanged Christmas gifts as well as Mother's Day and birthdays. But I noticed that for about the past couple of years I still get her gifts but she hasn't gotten me anything for birthday, Mother's Day or Christmas. I do know my ex moved back in with her a few years ago, but up until 2019 she and I still exchanged gifts. 

I don't want it to be awkward or for her to feel bad that she didn't get me anything but I would say it's pretty clear that the gift exchanging has stopped, at least on her end. So I was thinking about just getting her something very small like a $10 gift card to a coffee and tea place that I know she likes. I think that would be less awkward than the 2 or 3 small gifts I usually get her.

I did already buy her something but I can give it to my niece. It's just some cute thick house socks so my niece will probably like them.

Almost done with shopping! I just need to go to a local boutique this weekend and I'll be done. Then comes the fun of wrapping 🙄 My apartment is so small I am having trouble storing the gifts I bought!

[Seraphim]

I wouldn’t bother. It has been ages and she is his mother. 

[boltnrun]

41 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I wouldn’t bother. It has been ages and she is his mother. 

It hasn't been "ages".  We exchanged gifts up to at least the beginning or middle of 2020 (my memory isn't the greatest but I believe she sent me a birthday gift last year).  So only about a year and a half or possibly two years ago.

She and I have remained very close.  In fact, in September she suggested getting together for lunch since I now live nearby instead of 300 miles away.

I'm going to get her the gift card.  It's small enough that she shouldn't feel bad about not getting me anything.

[Seraphim]

I didn’t mean to insult . I meant ages since being with her son. 

[boltnrun]

4 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I didn’t mean to insult . I meant ages since being with her son. 

Yeah, that felt a bit abrupt to be honest. She and I have had a great friendship since I was first dating her son. So we're talking about well over 30 years. She always says she loves me and I tell her I love her because I do. And she was never angry with me about the divorce. She was very understanding.

She's a great and kind lady.