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Anxiety Help - Journal


boltnrun
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I have dealt with anxiety off and on for about 30 years (probably more, except I used to call it "stressing out").

 

Do those of you who experience anxiety find that it increases and decreases sometimes multiple times per day, even sometimes minute to minute?

 

I am sitting in front of my computer attending a virtual training class, I felt OK, then out of nowhere I started feeling that familiar feeling where I can sense the anxiety creeping up. And sometimes it just slams me unexpectedly.

 

Is this "normal" for anxiety sufferers?

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Yes, exactly how I experience it at stressful times. I can even wake middle of the night pouring sweat almost screaming ready to run around the outside of my house because I feel like I am dying. But that is when I am in total crisis.

 

I would try “ grounding exercises” there are apps for mindfulness and stress and anxiety and breathing techniques. You can also contact your pcp.

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I don't call it anxiety or stressing out, but dread or worry. When I dread something, it feels almost physical, like I have to bite the bullet to get through it. Unfortunately food shopping has become one of those. Worry feels more like something that need to count on, but is not in my control.

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I know it's due to my current situation being severely impacted by the Covid situation. Moving is already stressful, but moving during a pandemic?

 

I keep telling myself that EVERYONE is under stress right now. It's not just me and I'm not special.

 

My PCP knows I am leaving the state, but maybe he would be willing to prescribe me something so I don't feel like jumping out of my skin and like my BP is through the roof.

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I know it's due to my current situation being severely impacted by the Covid situation. Moving is already stressful, but moving during a pandemic?

 

I keep telling myself that EVERYONE is under stress right now. It's not just me and I'm not special.

 

My PCP knows I am leaving the state, but maybe he would be willing to prescribe me something so I don't feel like jumping out of my skin and like my BP is through the roof.

I would talk to him/her.

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I should have made this a journal...

 

Before all this, my biggest problem was that my employees were lazy and I didn't feel supported at work and I was SO, SO stressed! I would be so happy to return to the time where that was my biggest problem.

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I'm an anxious person. Exercise daily whether it's walking, cycling, aerobic fitness (within moderation to prevent overuse injuries), changing your diet so you'll feel better, lose weight if necessary and having good interactions with very moral, upstanding people or friends and work around during this COVID-19 pandemic.

 

Do what you enjoy whether it's hobbies, cooking, decluttering, organizing your home, read books, watch good movies, documentaries or whatever you can immerse yourself into.

 

Don't sit too much because it's bad for your health. Never stagnate your body otherwise your brain will turn into bubblegum or mashed potatoes. Get your blood circulating and get moving!

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Well, I have lost 15 pounds without trying due to my anxiety . And since I am packing for a move I am keeping active. I actually struggle with sitting still. Just really have a hard time relaxing which is normal for me.

 

I live alone so only online or phone interactions for now. And once I move close to my kids I won't see them in person since I am an essential worker who will be around about 150 people inside a building when I work. But it will be comforting to be geographically closer.

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Oh yes, all the time but try not to show it. I think of it a little like public speaking. If I'm unprepared it doesn't go very well. If I'm worried and anxious or stressing out, I'm learning how to stop thinking about the emotions and try and think of a plan on how to remedy it and not have the same problem happen again. After that it passes like all things have to pass eventually. Lately I'm not sure if I'm doing this too well as a number of people have been asking me if I'm ok. I'm just not showing my feelings. It doesn't mean I don't feel stressed if I'm stressed about something.

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The location I am being sent to work in is rumored to have 7 cases total and 2 deaths. However, when the source is Facebook it's certainly not at all guaranteed to be accurate.

 

I know of 3 cases in the building with 1 confirmed death, that of a manager who chose to travel out of the country during the pandemic and contracted it there and never went to the building after being infected. Sad that he died trying to visit his family, but not a great decision to travel.

 

Ugh...

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I know it's due to my current situation being severely impacted by the Covid situation. Moving is already stressful, but moving during a pandemic?

 

I think what you are feeling is very typical of anxiety, especially when you are stuck in a holding pattern.

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So, I already kind of knew that not eating can impact your mood. It's obvious to me. But I have lost 15 pounds in the past 6 -7 weeks, not due to trying but because I don't feel like eating when I'm upset or scared or anxious. So I don't eat, which means my blood sugar gets low AND the idea of eating makes me feel nauseous. So I continue to not eat and then feel depressed and anxious, which makes me continue to not want to eat!

 

It's also due to circumstances, of course. This morning I HAD to go to Walmart, a place I avoid because of all the people who cram into the store not wearing masks and not social distancing. But it's the only place that I believed would have everything I need and would eliminate the need to go to multiple stores. So I went. It's over now. I got up early and got to the store about 7:15 AM. Store was already pretty full but not packed yet. About 50% of the shoppers were wearing masks. The couple behind me was an older couple, the man was wearing a Vietnam Veteran ball cap. He started to move forward to begin putting his items on the belt while I was still putting mine on and his wife reminded him to wait. Then he proceeded to pull down his mask and loudly blow his nose. I turned around with a fearful look on my face and his wife commented. I laughed and told him that's just the way things are right now! He explained he has allergies and I told him I do too. Anyway, got out of there, got home, wiped down the things I need immediately, showered, washed my hair and here I am.

 

I hadn't eaten so I drank some instant breakfast. Still felt kind of down, so I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I feel better now, but then I usually do when I eat. It's just hard for me to get motivated to eat when nothing appeals. And I am still not comfortable getting takeout or delivery due to the hassle of getting the food out of the bag and either transferring it to a plate in my garage or wiping down the container. Not worth the trouble.

 

Anyway, going to work on trying to eat and manage my depression and anxiety as well as gaining some of this weight back. I'm currently 119 lbs. and look like a stick. Not good. Going to do some more packing today. Four more days!

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So, I already kind of knew that not eating can impact your mood. It's obvious to me. But I have lost 15 pounds in the past 6 -7 weeks, not due to trying but because I don't feel like eating when I'm upset or scared or anxious. So I don't eat, which means my blood sugar gets low AND the idea of eating makes me feel nauseous. So I continue to not eat and then feel depressed and anxious, which makes me continue to not want to eat!

 

It's also due to circumstances, of course. This morning I HAD to go to Walmart, a place I avoid because of all the people who cram into the store not wearing masks and not social distancing. But it's the only place that I believed would have everything I need and would eliminate the need to go to multiple stores. So I went. It's over now. I got up early and got to the store about 7:15 AM. Store was already pretty full but not packed yet. About 50% of the shoppers were wearing masks. The couple behind me was an older couple, the man was wearing a Vietnam Veteran ball cap. He started to move forward to begin putting his items on the belt while I was still putting mine on and his wife reminded him to wait. Then he proceeded to pull down his mask and loudly blow his nose. I turned around with a fearful look on my face and his wife commented. I laughed and told him that's just the way things are right now! He explained he has allergies and I told him I do too. Anyway, got out of there, got home, wiped down the things I need immediately, showered, washed my hair and here I am.

 

I hadn't eaten so I drank some instant breakfast. Still felt kind of down, so I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I feel better now, but then I usually do when I eat. It's just hard for me to get motivated to eat when nothing appeals. And I am still not comfortable getting takeout or delivery due to the hassle of getting the food out of the bag and either transferring it to a plate in my garage or wiping down the container. Not worth the trouble.

 

Anyway, going to work on trying to eat and manage my depression and anxiety as well as gaining some of this weight back. I'm currently 119 lbs. and look like a stick. Not good. Going to do some more packing today. Four more days!

 

Yesterday I got chewed out for NICELY asking the woman behind me in line at the store to move her cart back a bit. She had tons of room, no one behind her and I just needed a bit more space between us to put my stuff down, etc. I ignored her and told her to have a nice day, nicely. Then she deliberately moved her cart to where it was almost touching mine. I ignored her and said to the bagger -can you please move my cart forward -hers is about to bang into mine. She did. People can be such jerks and yes it's anxiety provoking! Hope you feel better soon.

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The only thing I did was start back up packing my things. I suppose that could be a trigger? But I don't get it, I want out of this place, I want the move done.

 

Maybe because there is still so much to do.

 

And I'm not feeling well again. The wind kicked back up and the clouds are moving in. My throat started hurting and my temp, which is usually around 97.7 degrees, is 98.3. Not a fever, but higher than my usual.

 

Super ugh.

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I feel better now, but then I usually do when I eat. It's just hard for me to get motivated to eat when nothing appeals.

 

Well, when I wrote the above I was feeling OK. Now anxiety is back full force. Heart racing. I just don't get why I can be fine one minute and a basket case a few minutes later.

 

Do you go for more than 3 hours between meals?

 

A drop in your blood sugar might be amplifying your anxiety in addition to all of the other factors you have going on.

 

It might help to have something fast, small, and nutritious handy.

 

Maybe cut up a quality protein bar and have a piece every hour or so to prevent a sudden drop in your blood sugar.

 

Not a big huge meal commitment, just something that you can at least nibble on and control.

 

It won't get rid of your anxiety, but it might take the edge off.

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Just to complicate things, I have a lot of dietary restrictions. No dairy, no nuts, no red meat, no chocolate. I find that most nutrition bars have at least one of those things in them. And even cereal bars have hidden nuts ground up into them.

 

And I eat very seldom. Nothing appeals to me. Which is disappointing because I usually love food. But the way I feel right now, I will never patronize a restaurant again because I have way too much fear. Not logical at all but true.

 

Sorry for the pity party. I wish I could be one of those people who is just going on with their lives like everything is normal. I envy those who are not afraid.

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