Please help me with my breakup. Not over it. Been 6 months

[MissCanuck]

if he really loved me or cared for him, he would have solved the issues between us and wouldn't give up on me regardless of the situation.

 

Do you agree with that?

 

No, I do not.

 

You can care about someone, and even love them, but know they are not right for you and that the relationship is not working. You can want the best for someone but not wish to continue dating them.

 

You seem to have a very unhealthy view of love. That's worth examining further. I have to wonder if these obsessive and insistent thought patterns contributed to the break-up.

[boltnrun]

He has a restraining order against you.

 

Please do NOT move out there. You risk getting arrested if you move out there and try to see or contact him.

 

He has made it clear it's over. You can refuse to accept it but refusing won't change it.

 

Please seek professional help if you are unable to move forward or accept the breakup.

[ttlove23]

no he dont love me because this is not how you treat a person you claim to love. when you love someone you tried to work it out. He probably liked me just like he liked the 4 girls before me and the new girl. i went above and beyond to make it work, he didn't. i fought for him. This just shows how less he cared.

[ttlove23]

what do you mean if these obsessive and insistent thought patterns contributed to the breakup?

 

the things that contributed to the breakup was his own behaviors. He never took responsibility of his actions, but only wanted to discuss my reactions. When you really love someone you do anything to make it work, especially when i did more than half of the work which includes apologizing, compromising, everything.

[boltnrun]

 

I cursed his exes out to him and he got offended.

 

after finding his instagram behaviors out and him talking about his exes, it made me so insecure.

 

Everytime i bring up something for discussion, he thinks im arguing and fighting with him and tries to break up with me multiple times. Then, I cry and ask him to stay

 

One day, I snapped on him because he was always trying to break up with me every time we have an argument. So I called him out and said I got tired of his behavior and he likes attention and that's it. I said he might be buying his likes and stuff due to him seeking attention It was a heated one because I was upset.

 

This was not a happy, loving, respectful or secure relationship.

 

What I keep reading is you saying "if he loved me he'd CHANGE!!!"

 

The right man wouldn't have to change.

 

The only way it would work is if he was completely different. He is not, therefore he is not the right one for you. No matter how many "but" or "ifs" you try to say.

[ttlove23]

I think its a temporary one till January. The next court date is January. I am not sure if he will do a full 2 year order. I met him through mutual friends. We spend 5 days in September together and he lived with me. Then 7 days in December. He lived in my apartment. Then, in February for his birthday i flew down there and was with him for 3 days. we called and face timed multiple times of the day. Again, we had plans for future and he wanted me to move down to florida for med school while we were in the relationship.

 

I was lurking till 3 weeks ago. I had to stop because it was making me depressed. I blocked them again. I am barely living now. i don't enjoy life at all. I do things to barely surviving. Half of my memory before him is gone. My memory before him is blurry. My brain can't grasp it. i guess this is due to the 3 month depressive episode i had to go through.

 

Sometimes i have false hope (if you want to call it)that he will come back, i pray for God to even bring him back. I still look forward to apply to med schools down in florida.

 

Why do you mean it has gone way too far off the rails to ever be repaired? I really wish i never met him. He did mess me up. I don't deserve this for loving him. I fight against suicidal thoughts every day. its like a war between my head and heart. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

[boltnrun]

I think its a temporary one till January. The next court date is January. I am not sure if he will do a full 2 year order. I met him through mutual friends. We spend 5 days in September together and he lived with me. Then 7 days in December. He lived in my apartment. Then, in february for his birthday i flew down there and was with him for 3 days. we called and face timed multiple times of the day. Again, we had plans for future and he wanted me to move down to florida for med school while we were in the relationship.

 

I was lurking till 3 weeks ago. I had to stop because it was making me depressed. I blocked them again. I am barely living now. i don't enjoy life at all. I do things to barely surviving. Half of my memory before him is gone. My memory before him is blurry. My brain can't grasp it. i guess this is due to the 3 month depressive episode i had to go through.

 

Sometimes i have false hope (if you want to call it)that he will come back, i pray for God to even bring him back. I still look forward to apply to med schools down in florida.

 

Why do you mean t has gone way too far off the rails to ever be repaired? I really wish i never met him. He did mess me up. I don't deserve this for loving him. I fight against suicidal thoughts every day. its like a war between my head and hart. I wouldnt even wish this on my worst enemy.

 

Please, please seek professional help. If you still think it's a good idea to move near him, if you are suicidal, you need help.

 

Also, please tell your family. They need to know how you're feeling.

[ninjabib]

In the nicest way you need professional help, please ensure that you get it so you can move on with your life.

[MissCanuck]

I really wish i never met him. He did mess me up. I don't deserve this for loving him. I fight against suicidal thoughts every day. its like a war between my head and heart. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

 

Do you have family or close friends nearby? Do they know how much you're struggling?

 

Please, seek professional help immediately.

[ttlove23]

i have therapy soon. My parents knew it and they help me and listen to me all day. But i am always struggling with thought. I miss him very much and want him back. i just can't accept the fact that he couldn't see how much i loved him and i was willing to fix it and do whatever it takes to fix the relationship.

[boltnrun]

i have therapy soon. My parents knew it and they help me and listen to me all day. But i am always struggling with thought. I miss him very much and want him back. i just can't accept the fact that he couldn't see how much i loved him and i was willing to fix it and do whatever it takes to fix the relationship.

 

Hopefully "soon" is in the next week or so. Support is a good thing to have.

[ttlove23]

im not thinking about moving there anytime soon only when i get accepted to med schools down there which might take 2 years. I want to contact him and see where we can go from there. But i hate having false hope and looking forward to something that will probably never happen. when we were together next to each other everything was perfect. but he let us go over some phone arguments.

[ttlove23]

yes i am booking one for next week

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this, but you can do much better finding a local bf who can spend time with you, doesn't drink this much, treats you better and who you don't have to worry about. Let it go. Get on some dating apps and join some clubs, groups etc and start talking to, meeting and dating local real-life real-men. 3 meetups in 8 mos is a very lonely life. You can do better than that. Don't get stuck behind a screen, it's not how relationships are built.

[smackie9]

After your first therapy session you will feel much better.