Wiseman2 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Unfortunately she is doing the classic friendzone after a breakup type things. It would be best to clear your head, reflect and stay no contact. Link to comment
Bearcat2020 Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 I know it shouldn’t matter but everyone around me says we should be together and think we will get back together. It’s just so difficult. I have been doing no contact and trying to improve myself Link to comment
ninjabib Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 It doesn't matter what they say. It's what she says and she says no relationship. This is clearly hurting you. Block her on everything and then you can move on. Link to comment
Bearcat2020 Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 It’s bothersome that’s forsure. The fact she still somewhat in contact with family. Her family still in contact with me. It’s as if someone hit “pause”. Link to comment
ninjabib Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I can see what you are saying. She's pressing pause and now your life's in hold. If it was me I'd press the 'stop' button and remove the old tape. I wouldn't want someone else in control of my future happiness. She shouldn't be contacting your family or you hers. It's no longer appropriate if it's affecting you. Link to comment
Bearcat2020 Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 I guess the thing is I want to know why that’s happening? Is it because she wants to be able to easily comeback into my life without my parents being upset with her? Link to comment
Bearcat2020 Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 I have also been doing journaling and practicing law of attraction Link to comment
ninjabib Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Only she knows why she's doing what she's doing and I guess you are looking for closure and the black and white reason why but I'm telling you that will not get that. You get your own closure from moving on. I don't think anything she is doing is to leave the door open I think it's firmly shut. It's just your mind desperately clinging onto any semblance of hope. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 You need to delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. As long as the thorn is still in your side this much it will be painful and prevent healing/moving forward. But it's not 'pause", it's "stop".Her family still in contact with me. It’s as if someone hit “pause”. Link to comment
Bearcat2020 Posted June 21, 2019 Author Share Posted June 21, 2019 From time to time I’ll look at her social media accounts. A lot of the stuff she shares is sad stuff. Why would she be sad if she broke up with me? Especially since it’s been about a month from now. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 That kind of ruminating keeps you attached to her. YOU are still in the relationship...but she isn't. If you want to continue to feel the way you do now, keep looking at her social media. Hopefully someday soon you'll get tired of it and stop. Link to comment
Aleh Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Buddy, how old are you guys? I'm in a similar situation but with much more time and share a son, she made the same petty excuse of "I need a breather, time alone." let me tell you it's hard to realize that once happily ever after idea just vanished. Just focus on yourself for the time being, if she wants you back, she'll come back to you but for now let her deal with whatever she's dealing with. Don't cling onto hope cuz that will only drag you down to an abyss, trust me cuz I've and living it right now. Link to comment
Bearcat2020 Posted June 21, 2019 Author Share Posted June 21, 2019 Okay guys... so I decided to text her to see if she wanted to get food this weekend. I told myself if she says “no” then that’s the final strike for me to just move on. She replied with “I don’t know yet.” What do you think this means? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Okay guys... so I decided to text her to see if she wanted to get food this weekend. I told myself if she says “no” then that’s the final strike for me to just move on. She replied with “I don’t know yet.” What do you think this means? It doesn't mean "yes". Link to comment
ninjabib Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 It means she might let you spend time with her if nothing else comes up better with anyone else. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 Unfortunately, it means no.I decided to text her to see if she wanted to get food this weekend. She replied with “I don’t know yet.” What do you think this means? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 It means you can choose to latch onto her "maybe" and put your life on hold "hoping" she will deign to see you...or you can decide you've had enough of this BS and move on with your life. Link to comment
No1 Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 All you are doing is re-enforcing her decision. Didn't she ask you for space and time? Yet you text her to see if she wants to get food. Does that sound like you are giving her time? You are using "food" as an excuse to contact her. Have you not thought of her feelings at all or is it about you? Sounds to me that your impulsiveness is more important than her wishes. Link to comment
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