How to get employer to take mental health seriously

[Seraphim]

The only point I will make is, I hope everyone reading or replying to this post, will take time time to have some empathy. Consider how difficult it is to live like this.

Realize that sweeping people with mental illness under the rug because they're too difficult to deal with, is NOT the answer.

 

The human brain is only another part of the human body. It can have parts in it that doesn't work right starting from birth.

 

That doesn't make that person any less worthy or less important. That doesn't mean it's okay to tell them to go home and stay home because they're too difficult.

 

Mental illness is NOT a choice and no one would ever choose to live like this.

 

It's also why there are thousands of suicides a year. It's not only due to the suffering from these conditions but the intolerance from society.

 

Should our society adapt? Why not? We adapt for those who are disabled. We accept them and adapt, such as having disabled parking. Swings in parks for disabled children who are in wheelchairs so the swing will accommodate their wheelchair. We can see they struggle and try to work with them in order for them to fit into our society.

That's a good thing and how it should be!!!!

 

So please, be respectful, be careful on your response and have some empathy and kindness.

Amen.......

[Batya33]

I think in the world of work there are many accommodations. It’s not perfect of course but there’s a point where full adaptation could mean the end of a for profit business (like in this case if employees refused to work the late shift based on mental health issues or do other types of work). So there has to be balance in my opinion and retail store work simply might not be right for her. There are other work environments that might give the type of accommodations she is seeking. I needed certain accommodations when I was pregnant but I also remember taking one day off my entire pregnancy because I needed to be near a restroom and was miserable. And I still did a lot of work from home. I also needed more time off for extra ultrasounds and doctors appointments. Not a mental health issue but certainly a recognized disability. So in that sense I can relate.

[pippy longstocking]

Amen.......

 

I second that .....

[SherrySher]

@Batya I personally feel we've got a long way to go with accepting mental health and accommodating properly.

 

There is still far too much hate, intolerance, criticism, judgement, etc.

[itsallgrand]

There's a long way to go with so many layers to equality in my rarely humble opinion. Don't get me started! ;)

 

In this case though, I don't think it's about that. I think we all have strengths and weaknesses, and OP may be in a role that plays to her weaknesses more than where she's shine. So rather than everyone twist to make this work, sometimes accepting it's not for you is a stronger move than everyone unhappy.

 

That's all I'll say on this for now. Respect and love you all. Hearts are in good places.

[Batya33]

I could not agree more. And in this particular case I agree with jman and lhgirl. Both of those things are true for me. I did a lot of work involving these issues and my father missed a lot of work because of his mental health issues (mostly due to hospitalizations). Also I wanted to add that I had emetophobia for years and still have anxiety to some extent but much better. There was one time at work I experienced intolerance over it and I wasn’t comfortable sharing my phobia - never pleasant to talk about vomiting at work. It was many years ago and still cringe worthy - the comments that were made to me. . So in a small way I get it.

[pippy longstocking]

There was one time at work I experienced intolerance over it and I wasn’t comfortable sharing my phobia - never pleasant to talk about vomiting at work. It was many years ago and still cringe worthy - the comments that were made to me. . So in a small way I get it.

 

I have had it too and had those conversations I would rather have kept to myself ....when I was going through the process of getting assessed for bi polar , I levelled with my manager and the other staff ...this is what I think I have , this is what the docs think I have and I am going through the appointments now to get this done once and for all . I always had appointments on my days off ...my manager was becoming a right a hole by this time and he started to change my shifts to the days I had appointments and also unscheduled shifts that I couldn't do because my child carer legally could not take my daughter because she full up bar our scheduled days ...I cannot even begin to tell you the absolutes chaos this was causing me and the lack of understanding alienated me and weakened me at an already vulnerable time in my life .

[pippy longstocking]

Op have you ever thought about getting a bike ? I mentioned earlier about having an electric bike ...brilliant they are ..look into it , it gives you your independance back .

[catfeeder]

My doctor will nit write a note about it nor do I expect him to.

 

Well, there's the crux of your problem. You refuse to get the documentation you need to force an employer to accommodate you, and so they won't cooperate with your limitations.

 

The question becomes, WHY won't you do your part? If your current doctor won't take you seriously enough to write disability papers, then find a doc or therapist who will. If you're not willing to do that, then you're also not willing to solve your own problem, and a bunch of Internet strangers can't help you with that.

[bmars87]

I find incredibly sad that people are so quick to judge.

To the people who gave sound advice and understanding, thank you.

 

To address the doctor's note, what I meant by this is I do have a prescription for medication but I really can't see him writing a note saying don't make her work the fitting room - that seems very specific.

 

I'm not going to respond to each individual post, but rather I will hopefully be able to address everything in one.

To the person complaining that because of people like me who don't want to do the crappy jobs that it gets left for them - first of all, let's get one thing straight. It is not a matter of wanting to or not wanting to do these things. You clearly do not suffer from mental health issues, if you did you would understand that it is not a choice. I don't care about clothes on the floor or messes left behind, it has absolutely nothing to do with that. You say it's a room with walls and to just get over it. It is not just a room with walls for ME. For me it is somewhere where the walls close in, there becomes less and less air, and I'm trapped there as if I were in a box. I absolutely can and do work independently. I don't think I am the only person in the world who gets triggered anxiety attacks from being on the cash register alone. I had a guy come in late one night hopped up on hard drugs, bleeding everywhere, his fingers were basically dangling off and there was blood everywhere. He was so high he didn't even know he was bleeding or injured. Crap like that terrifies me and it isn't the only case of stuff happening. We have a high amount of theft in our store, and it would be just my luck that someone go for the register while I'm on it.

 

Again, it is not a matter of wanting to or not wanting to do things. I complain about not having friends and being antisocial or not having a social life, and yet I decline every single offer / invite given to me. I had to turn down our family traditional Chinese Food on New Years Eve day today because my body can't be in a vehicle for more than a few minutes without it getting physically sick. I can't do things I want to do. I don't go to concerts, I don't do anything. It is so exhausting trying to get someone to understand that I wish I could just hop on a bus. I wish I could just call a cab, or get in a car with someone and go somewhere, but I can't.

 

As for not being able to "figure" out my transportation... it is figured out. I walk. That is me figuring it out. That is what it has been for the last three and a half years and that is what it will continue to be regardless of where I work. The comment about how I couldn't even be bothered to offer to work the extra time - the extra time was not offered to me and would have been useless to my boss. I would have been staying an hour and 45 minutes and would have been required by law to take a 45 minute lunch break during that time. I don't understand the comment of how I am expecting the world when my boss is already going beyond for me. How am I expecting the world? I'm expecting nothing other than that they extend the same courtesy to me that has been given to me since starting there.

 

As for the comment about not showing up to work and calling in sick - I have near perfect attendance thank you very much. The only times I have ever called into work is once when I had food poisoning, once when I had water literally pouring inside of my apartment because the landlord refused to fix an ongoing leak and when my dog had to be rushed to the vets.

 

As for this job not being right for me, despite what it may sound like I do actually enjoy my job. I have been there for 3.5 years, my performance reviews are always good, I've never been written up. etc. Prior to this job I also worked in retail and these things were not an issue for me there. I've worked in other jobs not related to retail and had anxiety issues there, so it isn't a retail thing.

 

Someone asked where I was located, I am located in Canada. And while most health care is indeed covered under OHIP, there are some things that are not free and that is mental health services, at least not in my area. The cheapest councilor / therapist around is $95/hour and that is the reduced rate for low income individuals (b.s if you ask me). I have been to the hospital and evaluated by their shrink with no outcome.

[bmars87]

I do have a bike actually, I just haven't ridden one in years. Nearly every bike that gets locked up outside of my work gets stolen.

Not a bad idea though. My mom keeps telling me to get an e-bike.

[SherrySher]

Don't let the haters win. You don't owe them any explanations. Trust me, it will be like trying to explain Chinese.

 

Ignore them, realize that there are many who DO support and understand you.

 

Stay strong, you're not alone.

[bmars87]

I feel this in my soul even though our situations are different.

I looked at the new schedule when I came back from Christmas on Wednesday.

I had 2 scheduled shifts.

I just happened to look at the schedule again for the next week on Friday, which I normally don't do. Normally I look at it once and be done with it.

Our schedule is all computer generated, and I see that one of the girls had whiteout on her shift and there was a shift written in for me, with part of it being scheduled in the fitting room. That shift doesn't take place until January 8th and my body has already been freaking out about it since looking at the schedule Friday. It's all I can think about. It's making me sick .Now I feel like they're scheduling me there out of spite. But yet if I hadn't looked at the schedule a second time and just showed up for the 2 scheduled shifts, it would have been on me. There was no head's up of like oh by the way I added a shift for you.

 

But yes absolutely there are things I would rather not discuss with management. Like how when I am up at cash or in the fitting room and internally freaking out and feeling like I am about to crap my pants any second, and throw up on the floor right there and so I call for someone to come for backup for a minute so I can go calm myself in the bathroom and nobody comes, so I call and call and call again and still noone comes and by this point its do or die. That is not something I like to share with management.

[Seraphim]

I find incredibly sad that people are so quick to judge.

To the people who gave sound advice and understanding, thank you.

 

To address the doctor's note, what I meant by this is I do have a prescription for medication but I really can't see him writing a note saying don't make her work the fitting room - that seems very specific.

 

I'm not going to respond to each individual post, but rather I will hopefully be able to address everything in one.

To the person complaining that because of people like me who don't want to do the crappy jobs that it gets left for them - first of all, let's get one thing straight. It is not a matter of wanting to or not wanting to do these things. You clearly do not suffer from mental health issues, if you did you would understand that it is not a choice. I don't care about clothes on the floor or messes left behind, it has absolutely nothing to do with that. You say it's a room with walls and to just get over it. It is not just a room with walls for ME. For me it is somewhere where the walls close in, there becomes less and less air, and I'm trapped there as if I were in a box. I absolutely can and do work independently. I don't think I am the only person in the world who gets triggered anxiety attacks from being on the cash register alone. I had a guy come in late one night hopped up on hard drugs, bleeding everywhere, his fingers were basically dangling off and there was blood everywhere. He was so high he didn't even know he was bleeding or injured. Crap like that terrifies me and it isn't the only case of stuff happening. We have a high amount of theft in our store, and it would be just my luck that someone go for the register while I'm on it.

 

Again, it is not a matter of wanting to or not wanting to do things. I complain about not having friends and being antisocial or not having a social life, and yet I decline every single offer / invite given to me. I had to turn down our family traditional Chinese Food on New Years Eve day today because my body can't be in a vehicle for more than a few minutes without it getting physically sick. I can't do things I want to do. I don't go to concerts, I don't do anything. It is so exhausting trying to get someone to understand that I wish I could just hop on a bus. I wish I could just call a cab, or get in a car with someone and go somewhere, but I can't.

 

As for not being able to "figure" out my transportation... it is figured out. I walk. That is me figuring it out. That is what it has been for the last three and a half years and that is what it will continue to be regardless of where I work. The comment about how I couldn't even be bothered to offer to work the extra time - the extra time was not offered to me and would have been useless to my boss. I would have been staying an hour and 45 minutes and would have been required by law to take a 45 minute lunch break during that time. I don't understand the comment of how I am expecting the world when my boss is already going beyond for me. How am I expecting the world? I'm expecting nothing other than that they extend the same courtesy to me that has been given to me since starting there.

 

As for the comment about not showing up to work and calling in sick - I have near perfect attendance thank you very much. The only times I have ever called into work is once when I had food poisoning, once when I had water literally pouring inside of my apartment because the landlord refused to fix an ongoing leak and when my dog had to be rushed to the vets.

 

As for this job not being right for me, despite what it may sound like I do actually enjoy my job. I have been there for 3.5 years, my performance reviews are always good, I've never been written up. etc. Prior to this job I also worked in retail and these things were not an issue for me there. I've worked in other jobs not related to retail and had anxiety issues there, so it isn't a retail thing.

 

Someone asked where I was located, I am located in Canada. And while most health care is indeed covered under OHIP, there are some things that are not free and that is mental health services, at least not in my area. The cheapest councilor / therapist around is $95/hour and that is the reduced rate for low income individuals (b.s if you ask me). I have been to the hospital and evaluated by their shrink with no outcome.

I am in Ontario as well. :)

 

Have you tried Gravol for motion sickness? My mom had to give me Gravol every time I got in the car as a kid or I would vomit . Now I only get that way if I am in the backseat . If I drive or travel in the front seat I am fine .

[SherrySher]

Have you tried any medications for your anxiety? It can be very helpful. What about counselling to help teach you coping skills? That too can help loads.

[Seraphim]

I feel this in my soul even though our situations are different.

I looked at the new schedule when I came back from Christmas on Wednesday.

I had 2 scheduled shifts.

I just happened to look at the schedule again for the next week on Friday, which I normally don't do. Normally I look at it once and be done with it.

Our schedule is all computer generated, and I see that one of the girls had whiteout on her shift and there was a shift written in for me, with part of it being scheduled in the fitting room. That shift doesn't take place until January 8th and my body has already been freaking out about it since looking at the schedule Friday. It's all I can think about. It's making me sick .Now I feel like they're scheduling me there out of spite. But yet if I hadn't looked at the schedule a second time and just showed up for the 2 scheduled shifts, it would have been on me. There was no head's up of like oh by the way I added a shift for you.

 

But yes absolutely there are things I would rather not discuss with management. Like how when I am up at cash or in the fitting room and internally freaking out and feeling like I am about to crap my pants any second, and throw up on the floor right there and so I call for someone to come for backup for a minute so I can go calm myself in the bathroom and nobody comes, so I call and call and call again and still noone comes and by this point its do or die. That is not something I like to share with management.

 

I am sorry.:( I have felt how you describe. I take clonanazepam for anxiety. It is a harder prescription to get because it is a class C med. maybe your doctor would give you a prescription for Xanax for those days that you have to work in the fitting room ?

[bmars87]

I definitely need to see him again. When I first went to him, I really did not want to be on drugs and was willing to try anything else but nothing else worked for me and we decided it was best for me to go on drugs because I could not function day to day. Walking down the street was a daunting task. I would be at a stop light waiting to cross and I would get a text from a friend asking if I was okay saying that they saw me at the stop light and I was holding my chest and shaking and looked like I was going to be sick.

 

The pills worked for a little bit, we then increased my dosage - I was on the max dosage for the pill and then they stopped working because I got use to them, and ever since then the anxiety has slowly gotten worse and worse.

 

When I first went to him, I asked about getting something just for when I could feel an attack coming on. He said no, that I needed more of a preventative or whatever they call it. But my cousin was telling me she is prescribed something, I think its called lexapro. Her husband was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer and she has 2 young children to take care of as well as a stressful job, and she only ever takes it if she is in full blown anxiety attack, and she said once she takes it she feels 100 times better in like less than half an hour. One of the other reasons he prescribed me what he did was because I do not have benefits at work, and have to pay out of pocket for prescriptions which can be very costly. So he gave me a generic brand.

[bmars87]

I have tried gravol once when I was going on a 4 hour drive. I tried to tucker myself out during the day and then took 2 gravol and basically passed out the entire way, thank god.

 

It's actually once of the things I'm stressed about right now because in January I'm suppose to take an hour long ride there and hour long ride back for a cancer benefit for my cousin's husband. My entire family is expected to be there, I want to go. I just keep thinking about the car ride and how I feel like I won't make it without getting sick.

 

I don't know what brought this on. I use to love being in the car. I could be in the car for hours,go on adventures and roadtrips, but these day its a definite nope.

[Seraphim]

Ok, I would suggest talking to your doctor about what OHIP covers in terms of some counselling because I know they pay for something . I had some counselling sessions when my son died in utero . I would start there. But I would ask about different medications as well .

[Seraphim]

If you are under 25 you may be able to get your prescriptions for free .

[bmars87]

So sorry to hear about your son 💞

I will ask again about different meds. I am over the age of 25 so unfortunately I don't qualify to get em covered.

[Seraphim]

So sorry to hear about your son 💞

I will ask again about different meds. I am over the age of 25 so unfortunately I don't qualify to get em covered.

 

I am sorry about that.:(

 

Maybe look up ODSP until you can get your mental health in control? Being on disability temporarily might help. You would at least get meds and might be able to get some counseling.