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bmars87

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  1. I'm not entirely sure where this whole moving home thing came from. Maybe I worded it wrong. I do not have the option of moving back home. My mom suggested that I move back to my hometown, not back to her home. My mom lives in a small house with her boyfriend and four dogs. My relationship with the boyfriend is toxic and there is absolutely no space for me there. I was trying to say I see no point in moving back to my home city. I will still have to find somewhere to live which is not any cheaper than where I am now. And I would have to get a new job. Taking a bus from my home city to my current job is not doable for me. Even though it's only a typical 15 minute ride by car, the bus takes an alternate route and ends up being close to an hour ride. It's also $6 each way which means everyday I would be giving up almost a full hour of wages just to get there and back. Most days my shifts are four hours long, so it doesn't make it worth it. Due to anxiety, I can only take one bus and that's the bus that I currently take to my job. It's less than a five-minute ride and it took me almost five years to be able to take the bus, I just started taking it at the end of last year. Prior to that I used to walk an hour there and an hour back every single day regardless of the time of day regardless of the weather. That's not an option if I moved to my hometown because it's mainly highway. Moving with one of the few ppl I have in my life unfortunately isn't an option. One of the people is my mom whom like I stated lives with her bf. Two of the people live with their husbands and children. The only "single without kids" friend that I have is a coworker but she has lived with her grandma her entire life and her grandma has really bad dementia and other issues so she doesn't want to move out.
  2. This is going to be a long one, I'm sorry but I have nowhere else to turn to. I'm 33, divorced, single for six years, no children, and an extremely small circle consisting of less than a handful of people. For most of these six years I've been okay being single, I get lonely occasionally but as of lately it's really been bothering me. I don't drink so going to a bar is not an option for me cuz I don't enjoy being around people who are drinking, and there doesn't seem to be anywhere else to go to to meet people. I can have conversations with people online, but when it comes down to meeting them in person my anxiety gets the best of me. I have low self confidence and have let myself go over the years. I feel like there isn't a single good thing in my life right now. Usually I can make a pros-and-cons list and come to a decision about what needs to be done but right now it feels like there are no options and it feels like there's no hope. For the second time in two years I am facing the risk of homelessness. To put it in perspective, I lived in an apartment for five years where the rent was $600. I had a roommate for some of that time and we split the cost so I was paying $300 monthly. There were a ton of health and safety concerns that the landlord refused to fix and ultimately evicted me in bad faith by lying and saying he intended to move into the property. The rental market is absolutely insane here and places to live are few and far between. At the last minute I found a roommate and we found a place for $1,200 ($600 each). Fast forward to February when she moved out three months early, leaving me to pay the $1,200 monthly rent since then. So in a year I went from paying $300 to $1200 even though my income hasn't increased. I work at a dead-end retail job. I've been there for 5 years and I do not make $1,200 per month. The only way I've been able to pay my rent is because as a Canadian I received a benefit payment during the pandemic lockdown. I used to love my job, I was a yes man I would do anything to please, I looked forward to going, I would jump at the chance for any extra hours. I no longer feel this way. I don't feel like a valued team member, people have made false accusations against me, I can feel myself not performing as well etc. Originally I posted ads looking for a new roommate but ultimately I decided that I cannot live with a stranger. My anxiety gets the best of me even just thinking about it. I also have an extremely protective dog who does not like strangers, he is my world. I've done everything in my power to find a new place to live within my budget. I've posted ads, viewed every rental website you can imagine, I've had people put the word out for me, I've contacted listing agents, I've walked up and down the streets looking for rental signs, etc. I've even contacted our regional housing program but there is a 15-year waiting list for a one-bedroom apartment. My mom tries to tell me that I should move back to my hometown about 15 minutes from where I am now. I do not drive so I would not be able to stay at my current job. But I feel like moving back isn't going to solve anything for me. The few friends that I do have live in the city I'm in now. Rent isn't any cheaper there, it isn't any safer, there are not more job opportunities, etc. I would literally be leaving one poophole for another. As an outsider looking in, the most obvious answer is get a different job or get another job. But that doesn't work for me. I don't think that people truly understand how anxiety and depression is disabling. I can't just go and get another job as if it's the easiest thing to do. I feel like if I could change one thing in my life then maybe it would spark chain reaction and everything else would fall into place but right now I just feel so hopeless and I don't see a resolution happening for me.
  3. I completely feel this. I'm currently in a similar situation and I've tried being upfront and honest that while I do like the person, I'm just not mentally in a good place and that I don't do well in relationships. I've already felt my mental health shift since speaking with them. For the last six years of being single I haven't had a care in the world for anyone else, didn't need to know what anyone's doing etc. Now I feel like I'm glued to my phone just waiting impatiently for this person to msg me back, I'm constantly fixated on them, interested to know what they're doing all the time, etc...and I don't need not do I want that. They are insistent that this could be something really special and that they don't want to miss out on it. I've been trying to rent out a room in my house for months and they want to move in regardless of me telling them I'm not ready for a relationship. They think that if we spend enough time together it'll just happen naturally. I think it's really good that you know your limits and as long as you communicate them to her, you've done your part. If she decides to wait or not that's on her. You can take comfort in knowing that you didn't ask her to and that you weren't giving her false hope. There's nothing wrong with a platonic friendship / companion.
  4. Her not being able to leave or not having a place to go is just an excuse. She makes decent money, but she's a terrible money person. It's gone before it's even earned. I've offered to help with budgeting and she's for it but he wants no part of it and won't allow me access to their finances.
  5. She is the only one with an income. She works in health care, he is on disability. But he controls how much she can work because the more money she makes, the less money he gets on his check. She pays for mostly everything. I think he maybe pays for his insurance and cell phone but everything else is on her. Due to some scary health issues she hasn't been able to work in two weeks and doesn't look like she will be able to in at least a month, so she will temporarily have to collect sick benefits.
  6. Backstory: I was raised as an only child by a single mother. During my childhood she had many boyfriends, but none of the relationships ever lasted more than a year or two. I'm 32, and she has now been with the same "man" since I was 17. From day one I did not like this man, something deep within my soul told me he was no good. I wanted her to be happy because she certainly deserves to be, so I gave it a chance. But shortly after the relationship started my gut proved to be right. My mom and I are extremely close but her relationship with him is putting a huge strain on our relationship and I don't know how to deal with it any longer. I'm at a point where I feel like I can no longer sit back and watch her be emotionally and mentally abused. I can no longer watch her be neglected, used, unloved. I can no longer watch her health decline because of issues in the relationship. I can no longer listen to the way he talks to her or sit back and watch as she does nothing to stick up for herself. The relationship is almost more of a really bad roommate you can't get rid of rather than a romantic one as they've not been physical in years, there is little to no affection in any other form, they don't sleep in the same room, etc. We have had deep conversations about my feelings and she always agrees with me. She's expressed being unhappy many times but feels like she won't do any better and would have nowhere to go. She's really just scared to be alone. My mom is not the person she once was and it kills me that she allows his behaviour. He's an extreme narcissist, everything has to be his way. If you don't agree with him you become the bad guy. There is always something he's unhappy about. My mom was rushed to the hospital twice last week in an ambulance. She was there for 7 hours each time. He refused to show up and when she told him she was ready to come home he told her to take a cab cuz he was busy playing pool with friends. There's been two other occasions where my mom has had surgeries, they lived two streets behind the hospital and he refused to go pick her up. My ex wife and I had to drive from a different city, at night to go pick her up and bring her home. ( Which for me is fine I don't care, I'd do anything for her she's my mom ), but that's not okay on his part. These are just some of the smaller things he's done. We'd be here for days if I really got into it. Today's issue is that my mom can't drive right now because of health issues, so he's been using her car. My uncle ( her brother) who happens to be best friends with her boyfriend just passed away on January 27th and the funeral is tomorrow. I don't drive and normally in this case my mom would come get me. The boyfriend is refusing to come pick me up and bring me to the funeral with them even though it's only a 15 minute drive away. I have been to my mom's home maybe 10 times in the last 17 years because of him. He and I cannot stand to be in the same room with eachother. I either don't go to family gatherings when they are held at other family members houses or I go and I will stay as far away from him as possible and not communicate with him. My family members all dislike him and have been begging my mom for years to get rid of him but they tolerate him for her sake.
  7. I genuinely thank you for your response and understanding. She is not on the spectrum but you are right about her not having any social skills. It isn't just with me though. When she was headed to meet the boyfriends parents for the first time and spend the night I told she she should bring something and she looked at me like I had two heads. I told her it is nice to bring something when you go to someone's house especially for a Thanksgiving meal. You don't just show up empty handed, you offer to bring something. Her response was " well he's not gonna bring anything to my dinner so why should I" and that turned out to be false like I expected and he showed up with a nice bottle of wine for her family. Prior to living in her grandmother's basement she lived in two separate rentals. Both rentals included multiple people and animals. In one house she lived with 6 people, 3 dogs and 4 cats. You would think she'd be able to handle and compromise living with just one if she could live with that many. And see the thing about you not being invited, I completely get. We are not close. But with that being said, when we first moved in if I was getting a ride to the grocery store and knew she needed groceries too I'd ask if she wanted to tag along, or if I had a ride after work I'd offer her one too. If I cooked too much food I'd offer to her. But none of these things are ever reciprocated so I stopped doing them. We don't have a chore list. It's been a while but she is normally the one to vacuum the living room because all of her stuff is in it and she spends most of her time in it and I'm never in there. We both take care of our own cat litter and cleaning the kitchen counter when we are done, but when it comes to garbage it's somehow put on me. And when it comes to cleaning the bathroom or the floors or stairway, if I don't do it it doesn't get done. She doesn't even change the toilet paper roll. She will just keep placing a new one on top of the old one. As much as I am unhappy here, my biggest fear right now is that when the lease is up she will want to get a place with her boyfriend who currently lives at home. I know it sounds like a blessing, but it truly would be a nightmare. The housing market is heart breaking and disgusting here. We were lucky enough to get this crappy apartment at the last minute. I'm already maxed out paying what I pay here because my rent doubled when I had to move and now since I'm further from work I'm putting out for transportation. So I'm paying $400 more a month than I was 7 months ago but not making any more money than I was 7 months ago. As someone below mentioned, it is very difficult finding housing when you have pets. My pets are my life and they aren't going anywhere. I also am quite the loner. The few friends I do have are not local and are all in commited relationships, so unfortunately living with them is not an option. People keep telling me to start looking two months prior to the lease ending and then just leave first so she doesn't have the option of leaving me high and dry for the boyfriend, but if I somehow did find a place to live without her and then it was never her plan to live with the boyfriend, I'd feel terrible for leaving her high and dry. I just feel stuck, and this is really where my unhappiness lays. I like to be in control of my own life and right now I feel like I've lost it. Everything is on her schedule, what's convenient for her and I feel like I have no option but to go along with it all or be homeless and that's a really terrible feeling Thank you again, really.
  8. Hello people of the internet. I am in need of some guidance when it comes to navigating a healthy non-romantic relationship with my roommate. I'm sorry but this will be lengthy and all over the map so if you read all the way through, thank you. A little background: She is 26 and I am 32. We work at the same place of business, but most days while there we only see each other in passing and do not work directly with each other. How we came to live together: I was evicted in bad faith by a shady landlord, my previous roommate was moving in with their girlfriend, and this girl consistently talked about wanting out of her grandmother's basement. So we started chatting and decided we were both in a situation that could benefit each other. Had it not been for this need needing to be filled, I honestly don't think we would have had many conversations as she is not typically someone I would try to befriend. (This was my first mistake) At the time we were moving in together, she was single and not speaking to anyone. She had never been in a relationship, been kissed, had any sort of relationship experience if you catch my drift. She basically described herself as a loner, a quiet nerd who watches anime and plays video games, isn't social,etc. Right from the get go I saw some red flags when it came to personality differences but I have been doing my best for the last seven months to work around them and trying to remain positive. They weren't major things. She likes the kitchen sink to be empty at all times so she washes her dishes the moment she's done eating where as I might throw them in the sink and wash them before bed or when I wake up in the morning. I like things that I'm not using to be put away out of sight until they are needed, where as if she uses something everyday she wants it to be left out for easy access. ( Example: I use my tooth brush everyday but I put it in the tooth brush holder or in the cupboard. She uses hers everyday so she wants it to sit on the counter for easier access ). I can do everything you need to do in the shower in 15 minutes tops, she is in there for an hour minimum. She also insists on blow drying her hair the minute she gets out. Those sort of things. Like I said, not major. But over the last few months I've definitely noticed some further issues. Everything needs to be on her terms, she is not considerate, she is ungrateful and sometimes downright rude. Everything needs to resolve her and what she is doing at the moment. For example: If I am in the shower and she needs to shower she starts knocking on the door saying are you going to be long I need to shower. I tell her no I'm almost done, and within a few minutes she's knocking again or shes huffing and puffing around the house. However if it is her in the shower,and I knock on the door telling her I'm about to mess myself she tells me I'll have to wait until shes finished. The other day I was cooking, and she comes in the kitchen and takes one of the pots I was using and says you'll need to use another one because I need this one. I was also defrosting something in the microwave and she's like I need the microwave. And I told her okay, that's fine but I'm using it right now and she got annoyed. Last weekend I had someone coming from 4 hours away to purchase something from me. I woke up early in the morning so that I could be ready when they came. I was in the shower when I heard her wake up and start moving around. I figured I'd be nice and get out so that she could go to the bathroom since it was first thing in the morning. So I went into my room to put clothes on, she goes into the bathroom and hops in the freaking shower. That was just after 9am and at 10:20 I was still waiting for her to get out. I had a towel on my head and no makeup and this person was going to be here in 10 minutes. So FINALLY I hear the water turn off, and I knock on the door and say can I please grab something before you dry your hair. She lets out an UGHHHH sound, opens the door and starts mumbling. I tell her I wasn't done in here and that someone is coming in 10 minutes and she says "oh." No apology or anything. That same morning I was in the kitchen trying to bake something and I couldn't find my sugar. I was destroying the cupboards looking for it and finally she asked what I was looking for then proceeded to tell me it is on the table because her boyfriend is using it for his tea. When we first moved in she asked if we could share things that weren't used often ( syrup, sugar, oil, etc ). I buy it because I use it more often. I agreed to it because she wasn't using it often, but now they both use the syrup every Saturday morning and he uses the sugar every Saturday morning. I am the one who takes out the garbage and recycling every single week. She has done it one time in the seven months we have lived here. Her theory is that I produce more garbage than she does and that it's more convenient for me to take out since I have to take my dog out to pee regardless. The other day she was complaining that the garbage smelled so bad that she wanted to die. I told her she was more than welcome to take it out herself, she said no she would suffer through it because the bag wasn't completely full and she didn't want to waste a bag. I also buy the garbage bags and recycling bags for the house. At the beginning of us living together she was buying the toilet paper and I was buying the garbage and recycling bags and it just kinda worked out that way. But then she left for a week on vacation and left with me less than half a roll. I had to make a trip out just for toilet paper and have had to purchase it multiple times since then in addition to the garbage and recycling bags.. The place we moved into is very small, there isn't a lot of space and there is no closets. The only place we have storage is in the basement. I have a king size bed so I had to take the bigger room as my bed will not fit in the other room. She insists on having access to all of her things ( movies, games, anime figures, sewing stuff ) even though she doesn't use them on a daily basis. So needless to say, she has completely taken over the entire living room. There is not one single thing in there that belongs to me and she makes it clear that it is her space. The living room looks like a freaking dorm room / flea market. Her mother and her sister come over every Thursday to watch certain tv shows together, the sister usually stays until 11pm or later. Her tv is right outside my bedroom and she listens to it at max volume. I've told her many times it is way too loud and have asked her to turn it down. Her response is that her streams volume goes up and down and she can't be bothered to toggle it during the louder parts, and also if she has to turn it down then what is the point in watching it because she can't hear it properly. There's been times that someone from work was driving her home and I was gonna be done a few minutes later. At no point did she say hey could we wait just a few minutes and give her a ride too since we're going to the same house. But yet when my friends offer me rides home from work and we are done at the same time or close to, she gets so offended and mad that I don't ask if they will drive her too. It's like a double standard. She wants me to do it for her, but will not do it for me. About a month into living together, she starts seeing someone she met online and they've now been in a relationship ever since. (I hate every little thing about their relationship). He comes over every Tuesday or Wednesday, they sit outside my bedroom watching tv until about 10 pm. Friday night he comes over and they do the same thing until about 2am when they go to bed. Her life orbits around him but she puts little to no effort into anything. She is very plain Jane, she doesn't wear makeup ( which is fine, that's her choice, she doesn't have to ),she doesn't ever try to dress nice or look good for him, when she invites him over for dinner its either her leftovers from the week, expired canned plain sauce with microwaved noodles, or sauce and cheese on a tortilla. He just bought her a $400 gaming system for Christmas in addition to other things, and she gave him a hand painted picture of his cats, a mug and boxers / socks. I know gifts aren't about the value, its about the thought and gesture but that's just on a whole other level. You don't need to tell me that I don't need to approve of her relationship. I know this. I don't need to, and I don't want control of it either, I literally don't want to care about the relationship in a good or bad way. I don't want to give it a second thought but because I am SOOO beyond annoyed with everything, I notice these things regardless if I want to or not. Anytime there is an issue with the house we rent she always puts it on me to contact the landlords or to deal with it. Last night while I was sleeping her soap dispenser fell into our sink, the sink completely cracked and fell apart on her watch. She notified the landlords and they said they would come today. So fast forward to 830 this morning and she tells me they are on their way. I tell her I will be in my room with my dog ( avoiding them and avoiding having my dog bark and go crazy so early in the morning ). And she says well I'm gonna be in my room and someone needs to deal with them. I suggested we leave the door open, tell them to let themselves in, replace the sink and see themselves out. She cuts me off and gets so angry and is like NO, I guess I'M the one who has to get dressed and I'M the one who has to deal with them. I told her that was her choice, and that I saw nothing wrong with my suggestion. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. She was P.O'd because she couldn't go lay next to her boyfriend while he slept. I'm sorry princess but you don't get special treatment and you don't get to avoid life things just because you have a boyfriend. She has gone away on vacation twice since living together. Once for a week and once for a weekend. She asked me to take care of her cat ( with extremely specific instructions on how to feed it, how many pieces of kibble etc ) without a thank you either time. Thanksgiving ( Canada ) weekend she was going to be spending the night at her boyfriends for the first time.She asked if I would mind feeding her cat that night and the next morning. It has now been six weeks since then and every single Saturday she leaves the cats food on the counter and takes off. She doesn't ask, she doesn't say thank you, she literally just expects me to feed her cat while she is gone. She doesn't even say bye or tell me she's leaving. This is driving me insane for multiple reasons.The lack of consideration to ask and the lack of appreciation is one. Yes I am home, yes I am capable of feeding the cat. It doesn't cut into whatever I'm doing, I get that. But why does it automatically fall on me? Just because she has chosen to change her routine to where she is no longer home on Saturdays that shouldn't mean that I now have to take on this responsibility. What if I wasn't going to be home? I mean its rare because I am always home except when at work but what if I was't going to be? It's not my cat. The other reason this drives me insane is because she was constantly on me about not leaving my cats food out. I keep my cat's food in my room,but she insists I put it away while I'm not home otherwise her cat comes into my room and eats it and she doesn't want him to get fat. I have been doing this at her request for months because I know it is important to her. Which means my cat who is use to eating whenever she pleases, can now only eat at certain times of the day. The other reason this is driving me nuts is this. My dog unfortunately gets bored when he is at home alone and he gets into the garbage and other things. She knows this. I'm extremely careful with what goes into the garbage ( no cooked chicken bones, etc ). And I always make sure I try to hide and secure the garbage before I leave for the day. ( I leave about an hour before her ). I shut the bathroom door so that he can't get the garbage in there. I go out of my way on a daily basis to make sure that my dog doesn't get sick from eating garbage and so that I don't have to clean it up every day when I get home from work, just to come home and see that she has unsecured the garbage, left the bathroom door open, etc. There has also been more than one occasion where her or her sister has put cooked chicken wing bones in the garbage and my dog has gotten to them even thought I have stressed and begged them not to do this. She also leaves candy and chocolate on her desk all the time in a basket then leaves for work. My dog has gotten a hold of these things on numerous occasions,and then she expects me to replace them for her. I have told her repeatedly that my dog can die from consuming these things and that she needs to be more careful. Her response is always along the lines of " well they've been here this long and it's been fine" or a reason why she needs to keep them there. So needless to say I am extremely bothered that she expects a lot from me, which I try my best to oblige to, but she is not willing to budge an ounce when it comes to my requests. I tried setting boundaries with her the other day and told her I do these things because it is important to you, I need you to do this for me because it is important and she basically just said " mornings aren't good for me to remember things" . I told her I would gladly text her a reminder in the morning, or put up post it notes, whatever it took to help remind her and she wasn't down with any of it. She has never offered to take my dog out for me if I'm going to be home late, she won't feed him for me. If I don't feed her cat or tell her that I don't want to, I see it causing problems. She's not approachable. She has no problem telling me the things I need to work on or am doing wrong but when it's the other way around she takes it personally / offensively and retaliates. Her mom lives in town but if she had to rely on her mom to come feed the cat when I was at home and perfectly capable of doing it,her mother would also cause problems for me while here during the week. Moving is not an option right now. That suggestion will be disregarded. I am driving myself absolutely batpoop crazy, these issues are all I think about and I don't know how to resolve them. I find myself growing more and more agitated with every single little thing she does and dread going home after work. I need suggestions on how I can change my mentality / way of thinking, not let things bother me,let things slide, etc.
  9. I stopped taking rides from her grandmother for fear of safety and disgust of the state of the vehicle. The one thing I don't get is even though she lives with her grandmother, she still sees her mother and her father and her 7 siblings who are all different ages. How has not one single person said anything to her. From what I have seen, the father and mother don't have odors and neither do any of the siblings I've met. I know she has access to water at home, but even if she didn't surely she could go to her mom or her dad's place to shower.
  10. It honestly is that bad. I mentioned this over year ago to someone about the smell, thinking maybe it was me ( knowing it wasn't ) but asking to make sure. It has gotten so much worse since then. I think my manager is just a really nice person who doesn't want to offend her or have that awkward conversation, but times up it needs to happen.
  11. So in my store we have three managers. One is the store manager, then there's a manager who does basically the H.R stuff,and then there is a merch manager. The manager who does the HR stuff is not someone I trust. She has slipped up with information that shouldn't have been shared, been involved in petty arguments with staff, etc. But we do have a human resource phone number which is basically just like head office. So would I call that number, or go to the store manager?
  12. Hello, I'm looking for advice on how to address concerns with a woman who is not only my co-worker but my also my friend. When I say friend, I mean we text a lot, share funny memes with each other, she is pretty much the only person at work that I trust and confide in, and we have hung out multiple times outside of work. But it isn't the type of friendship where you tell your deepest secrets, borrow each other's things, etc. One of the concerns is that her body odor has rapidly gotten worse. I am not exaggerating when I say it is to a point where you don't even need to be anywhere near her and you can still smell her on the other side of the retail store. My co-workers distance themselves from her to avoid having to be anywhere near her. Myself and another co-worker have gagged on more than one occasion. If I am anywhere close to her and a customer is coming, I will move so they don't think it's me who smells. It's not even a "B.O" smell. It's like a smell of poop not being cleaned from her butt, stinky feet, dirty hair, sweat, wet clothes that haven't dried properly, and sour milk all combined. She is obese, with a belly that hangs very far down passed her lady parts and her chest is nearly 3 times the size of my head.I'm not implying that all large people smell. I myself am over weight and do not smell. I'm just saying this could be adding to her scent as she may not be able to clean all her parts. She wears the same 3 or 4 shirts and shorts, just rotates them through the week. One of her shirts use to be white. It is now a grey color and the armpits are a dark grey / almost black color. When she wears her hair down it looks like someone has poured a bucket of oil over her head. She has never mentioned any medical conditions or medicine she's on that may be contributing to this. My other concern is just for her life in general. She is in her late twenties. She has lived with her grandmother since she was very young and she relies on her for EVERYTHING, most importantly transportation. She has told me that growing up she has never been allowed to have friends over because her grandma is a hoarder and thinks people will steal her stuff. The inside of their vehicle is disgusting. Garbage and odor. If something spills they put newspaper on it or a cushion or blanket instead of cleaning it. I can only imagine what their house looks like. Her grandmother is in her late 70s. And while I do know many people that age or older who are still sharp as sharp can be, can still drive, etc this woman is not one of them. I have been in the vehicle many times with the two of them and have feared for my safety and the safety of others every time. This woman should not legally be driving. My friend literally has to tell he every move to make. "Put your foot on the gas, put your foot on the break. It's a red light you have to stop. Those cars are moving you need to move. Put your blinker on, etc" The one time I was in the vehicle, there were cars parked on the side of the road. We stopped in the middle of the road (cars lining up behind us) and my friend said grandma what are you doing? And her grandma said I''m waiting for those cars to move so I can move too. Meanwhile those cars were parked. She has almost rear ended a number of people because her reflexes are super delayed, she can't make quick decisions. She will look away a lot longer than she should. She drives 40 always regardless if its 40 or 60 zone. It takes her almost a full minute to realize a light has turned green and to make the appropriate turn. She has gone down one way streets the wrong way. Many co-workers have been stuck behind this woman driving on their way to and from work and they always mention it to my friend and say that woman should not be driving. My friend always says " I know". But she won't do anything about it because if her grandma has no license that means she no longer has a ride to and from work, groceries, appointments, etc. I'm concerned that she has no positive influence or life experience about how things work. When her grandma passes or has to be put into a home, this girl is going to be so lost. She's never been in a relationship, had a first kiss, etc. A co-worker and I discussed going to our manager (who we assume has to be aware of the odor issue and just hasn't said anything), and discussing the matter with her. The thing is, it is going to be an awkward conversation regardless of how it goes. It isn't easy to tell someone they smell and I don't want my manager in that position just as I myself don't want to be in it. I don't want to humiliate her or make her feel like she is less than the wonderful person she is. I don't want to hear that if I was really her friend then I would tell her myself, she'd rather hear it from a friend, etc. I am really her friend. But this is outside of my comfort level and not the type of relationship we have. Aside from going to management, are there any other suggestions? Giving her deodorant / perfume / beauty products seems kind of pointless since I know she doesn't use them.
  13. If someone could please guide me in the right direction to deal with stress, I would be greatly appreciative. I am more stressed about how I am feeling mentally and how I am reacting to the stress than I am about the actual situations causing me stress. I struggle with anxiety and depression and I can feel myself spiralling. I would like to say and think that I know everything will work out for the best and that everything will be okay and that I can handle it; but I am losing my mind. I'm losing sleep, I am drained, I am so consumed in what I have going on that I don't have the mental compacity to think about anything else. I have done everything that I can possibly do to solve the actual problems I'm stressing about. So I'm good there. I have tried to distract myself with tv shows and books, walking the dog, oils, hot baths and showers, exercise, etc. But I'm not a "dont think about it and it'll get better" person. I like to face my problems head on and deal with them. I also don't drink, smoke anything or take drugs. Please dont suggest I smoke pot or use cbd oil.
  14. I'm slowly realizing that if it was a priority for people or something they genuinely had an interest in doing, it would have happened. Nobody deserves to be left hanging. It obviously was not of any importance to this person. Definitely distance yourself.
  15. So sorry to hear about your son 💞 I will ask again about different meds. I am over the age of 25 so unfortunately I don't qualify to get em covered.
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