Please Help Me; Short Relationship Ended

[melody147]

I keep thinking that I could have compromised and maybe tried to do it in a year, after I've fallen in love with him. My fear would be that he would dump me after getting that though. I don't know how common that is. He honestly in the first four weeks was amazing, kind, compassionate-such a great guy. So it's hard imagining him dumping me if I cater to his sexual needs. And it's not like I'm asexual! I probably would enjoy it, too...and sometimes compromise is important if you really care about the person right? Also my UCSD med school interview went amazing, if any of you were wondering haha~I think I have a really good chance of getting in and eventually becoming a doctor! I had to try really hard to push thoughts of this guy out of my mind (as my mom says, no guy is worth jeopardizing your future career), but I succeeded. Anyway if you guys could reply with your thoughts that'd be great :) I like posting on here because I think my friends are all sick of me talking about him; they want me to "move on" like it's that easy. But it's easy to tell others to move on when you're not in the same situation; every case is different, everyone's feelings are different.

[MissCanuck]

OP, everyone is amazing in the first few weeks. You cannot use that as a barometer of things to come.

 

If he wanted sex early on, there is no way he'd been willing to wait a year either. Stick to your beliefs and values, and find a guy whose own values line up with yours. This guy wasn't it.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you are looking for sexual experience. However it's up to you if you want that in the context of an exclusive relationship or hooking up with this guy.

it's hard imagining him dumping me if I cater to his sexual needs. I probably would enjoy it, too...and sometimes compromise is important if you really care about the person.

[melody147]

hes' back on the dating app where we met. so he's moved on. i guess i need to too. sucky feeling.

[Jellybean9]

Don't let his behaviour add to your insecurities!

 

We are human and all have issues with ourselves we hate. I know after a breakup it's easier to blame yourself and the way you look.

 

This whole scenario is the complete opposite! He wanted you sexually. Good for you for standing your grounds and not giving in to plesse him. He is not worth it for one second.

 

You will find someone who is willing to wait! Trust me there is decent men out there who will fall for you as a person. Not just as a sexual object.

 

I have a friend who is Muslim. He has been very sexually active in the past. He has now met this lovely muslim girl who is waiting for marriage. Guess what they have been together almost two years and they are waiting for marriage! So it can happen.

 

Best of luck.

 

Trust me by time you reach the end of no contact you will realise you don't even want to contact him. You will find someone with your same morals

[melody147]

Thanks for the responses guys. I'm feeling very emotional today and feeling lonely/abandoned. Do any of you guys have advice on how to not feel abandoned/discarded/disposed?

[Wiseman2]

Focus on your school interviews and upcoming attendance there. Research all the social activities and campuses. Get involved in a good future, not a bad past.

Thanks for the responses guys. I'm feeling very emotional today and feeling lonely/abandoned. Do any of you guys have advice on how to not feel abandoned/discarded/disposed?

[melody147]

Updates;

I did NC for about 3 weeks then broke it to ask him to lunch. I was hoping we could reconnect as friends, and I also got him a gift in Mexico when I went a week ago, sort of as a gift to open our friendship so that he can see there are no hard feelings. He seemed down; then when I confirmed lunch the day before, he said sorry he couldn't cuz of some job thing. Didn't attempt to reschedule, nothing. This was Sunday and now it's Wednesday. He doesn't seem to want to see me. Even as a friend. Which hurts a helluva lot.

[boltnrun]

Updates;

I did NC for about 3 weeks then broke it to ask him to lunch. I was hoping we could reconnect as friends, and I also got him a gift in Mexico when I went a week ago, sort of as a gift to open our friendship so that he can see there are no hard feelings. He seemed down; then when I confirmed lunch the day before, he said sorry he couldn't cuz of some job thing. Didn't attempt to reschedule, nothing. This was Sunday and now it's Wednesday. He doesn't seem to want to see me. Even as a friend. Which hurts a helluva lot.

 

He did the right thing. You don't want to be "friends".

[Wiseman2]

The more you chase him the worse you'll feel. You don't want to "be friends" you know it and he knows it. It's time to delete and block him from all messaging apps and social media. Focus on school and your friends and family. Get on some dating apps.

ask him to lunch. I was hoping we could reconnect as friends, and I also got him a gift in Mexico He doesn't seem to want to see me. Even as a friend.

[MissCanuck]

Updates;

I did NC for about 3 weeks then broke it to ask him to lunch. I was hoping we could reconnect as friends, and I also got him a gift in Mexico when I went a week ago, sort of as a gift to open our friendship so that he can see there are no hard feelings. He seemed down; then when I confirmed lunch the day before, he said sorry he couldn't cuz of some job thing. Didn't attempt to reschedule, nothing. This was Sunday and now it's Wednesday. He doesn't seem to want to see me. Even as a friend. Which hurts a helluva lot.

 

He was smart to not go through with this, honestly.

 

You want to be more than friends, and you both know this. He doesn't feel the same way, and it's going to be better that you stay away from him. For good. There is no reason to be friends with him. You can't turn to the guy who hurt you to soothe your pain, OP.

 

It's time that you accept this is over and he's not coming back, so that you stop doing this to yourself.