Self Employment:Greater Freedom: Freedom 60

[Seraphim]

12 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Do you think your son could get an official doctor's note explaining why he can't/won't wear them, his autism basically?  Is that possible?

I know a man who got an official doctor's note for his asthma I think, and it works.  Stores get angry but when he shows them his official  note they really can't do much about it.

My son won’t because he says his diagnosis is private and Autistic people get targeted for abuse once known about.... which is true. He suffered a lot of abuse at school from students and teachers alike even without his diagnosis.  So he doesn’t trust society a lot . 

[Seraphim]

36 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Do you think your son could get an official doctor's note explaining why he can't/won't wear them, his autism basically?  Is that possible?

I know a man who got an official doctor's note for his asthma I think, and it works.  Stores get angry but when he shows them his official  note they really can't do much about it.

My son had been restrained, locked in a room, had his skin zipped in coat pockets. I was bringing his lunch one day and I heard a teacher mocking him in the library and I said to her , “ hey you, yeah you, that is MY SON you are making fun of.” Then she ran out of the library. I said , “ yeah you run chicken sh$t mocking an 8 year old. “ He was beaten by 3 kids. He has been swarmed and beat up. 

[maritalbliss86]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

My son had been restrained, locked in a room, had his skin zipped in coat pockets. I was bringing his lunch one day and I heard a teacher mocking him in the library and I said to her , “ hey you, yeah you, that is MY SON you are making fun off.” Then she ran out of the library. I said , “ yeah you run chicken sh$t mocking an 8 year old. “

Oh that is SOOOO angering Seraphim!!!!!!!!  Wow that would be so hard to endure as a mom!!!!!!!  

The whole restraining/locked in a room thing, was it in response to his meltdowns I'm guessing?  UGH that is just so sad and so very angering even to read... makes my blood boil!!!!!

[Seraphim]

Just now, maritalbliss86 said:

Oh that is SOOOO angering Seraphim!!!!!!!!  Wow that would be so hard to endure as a mom!!!!!!!  

The whole restraining/locked in a room thing, was it in response to his meltdowns I'm guessing?  UGH that is just so sad and so very angering even to read... makes my blood boil!!!!!

That is the thing NO Autistic person needs restraining during a meltdown and makes them 1000 times worse and causes psychological trauma. 

[maritalbliss86]

I remember reading I think, that you said that you already knew for awhile that your son had autism way before the actual diagnosis... how do you think you knew exactly?  If there's a way you could pinpoint it, what would you say made you feel something was different?

I just got back from a doctor appointment this week with our son who I suspect may have some issues that could fall into autism, but everything seemed to fall within the realm of normalcy and our doctor just thinks he has various quirks about his personality.  Or she explained the issues I brought up as, "behaviors," not, "neurological development problems."  

So as of right now still, he's normal but with a lot of quirks and possible behaviors we have try to continue to correct.

Edited to add... this is hard because if he actually has behavior, "problems," then us correcting them would be different than if they were coming from underlying autism right?  Ugh it's so confusing... but I was just wondering if you experienced the same thing?  Doctors saying the behavior was his own issues you had to correct etc?

[Seraphim]

On 2/5/2021 at 3:20 PM, maritalbliss86 said:

I remember reading I think, that you said that you already knew for awhile that your son had autism way before the actual diagnosis... how do you think you knew exactly?  If there's a way you could pinpoint it, what would you say made you feel something was different?

I just got back from a doctor appointment this week with our son who I suspect may have some issues that could fall into autism, but everything seemed to fall within the realm of normalcy and our doctor just thinks he has various quirks about his personality.  Or she explained the issues I brought up as, "behaviors," not, "neurological development problems."  

So as of right now still, he's normal but with a lot of quirks and possible behaviors we have try to continue to correct.

Edited to add... this is hard because if he actually has behavior, "problems," then us correcting them would be different than if they were coming from underlying autism right?  Ugh it's so confusing... but I was just wondering if you experienced the same thing?  Doctors saying the behavior was his own issues you had to correct etc?

Well , when my son was a baby nobody talked about autism. ( 23 years ago, like AT ALL. I had never even heard of it. 
 

I knew he was having some issues from the time he was about seven weeks old. If you put him on a hard surface he would rip at his skin throw his arms out and scream and scream and scream and you could tell in his eyes that he was absolutely terrorized. If you laid him on a soft surface he didn’t have that reaction. 
The wind made him scream ,the sun made him scream ,the rain made him scream ,any kind of weather made him scream. other people made him scream. Virtually any kind of stimulation made him scream. 
 

When he got a little older if you changed seasons and had to change to different clothes he would have a total nervous break down and either try and pull up sleeves or down sleeves or pull down pant legs or pull them up depending on the season . If you bought him new shoes he had to have the old ones or he would scream the entire store down. He didn’t play with other kids. 
 

He was disregulated most of the time. If he went to my in-laws and they made noise he would cling to me and scream for hours. 

When he started junior kindergarten at three years old he would tear apart entire classrooms because they could not understand his speech and he was not supported. 

Around that time we got the Internet and I started looking at the difference between different conditions as his father was severely ADHD but he didn’t meet the criteria. That was where I saw the word autism and started looking up the criteria and the signs and symptoms. Around four he was diagnosed with ADHD and given ADHD meds from four to about 12 at which time I totally took away all medication and said it was freaking ridiculous that he didn’t have ADHD even if he was diagnosed by the most eminent paediatric doctor   in our city. 
 

 

Finally , when he was almost 17 we paid for a private assessment with a clinical psychologist. He said absolutely he was Autistic and has no clue how a paediatric doctor and a school psychologist missed it. He also verified the two learning disabilities which were found when he was nine years old and identified two others. We paid $2000 for private assessment. 
 

I am sure I’ve missed half 1 million things but those are kind of like the highlights. 

 

[Seraphim]

I am so irritated right now a Daycare mom woke me up at 7:10 texting me and she’s the only one who does this text me first thing in the morning on a weekend like seriously first thing in the morning on a weekend... to tell me her kid is puking and has the poops and is anybody else sick a daycare I said no and that was it nothing else. To which half an hour if she text me again to say oh crap. Then I said he can’t return until 24 hours of no symptoms. Yet you’re the one lady who insisted that he go to preschool. So he doesn’t just come to me he goes to school half a day too . 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[Seraphim]

I really need to extend my do not disturb settings on my phone on the weekends. Just because her kid is up at 5o’clock doesn’t mean mine is . Mine is grown-up so bye-bye. 

[Seraphim]

On 2/5/2021 at 4:58 PM, Seraphim said:

Well , when my son was a baby nobody talked about autism. ( 23 years ago, like AT ALL. I had never even heard of it. 
 

I knew he was having some issues from the time he was about seven weeks old. If you put him on a hard surface he would rip at his skin throw his arms out and scream and scream and scream and you could tell in his eyes that he was absolutely terrorized. If you laid him on a soft surface he didn’t have that reaction. 
The wind made him scream ,the sun made him scream ,the rain made him scream ,any kind of weather made him scream. other people made him scream. Virtually any kind of stimulation made him scream. 
 

When he got a little older if you changed seasons and had to change to different clothes he would have a total nervous break down and either try and pull up sleeves or down sleeves or pull down pant legs or pull them up depending on the season . If you bought him new shoes he had to have the old ones or he would scream the entire store down. He didn’t play with other kids. 
 

He was disregulated most of the time. If he went to my in-laws and they made noise he would cling to me and scream for hours. 

When he started junior kindergarten at three years old he would tear apart entire classrooms because they could not understand his speech and he was not supported. 

Around that time we got the Internet and I started looking at the difference between different conditions as his father was severely ADHD but he didn’t meet the criteria. That was where I saw the word autism and started looking up the criteria and the signs and symptoms. Around four he was diagnosed with ADHD and given ADHD meds from four to about 12 at which time I totally took away all medication and said it was freaking ridiculous that he didn’t have ADHD even if he was diagnosed by the most eminent paediatric doctor   in our city. 
 

 

Finally , when he was almost 17 we paid for a private assessment with a clinical psychologist. He said absolutely he was Autistic and has no clue how a paediatric doctor and a school psychologist missed it. He also verified the two learning disabilities which were found when he was nine years old and identified two others. We paid $2000 for private assessment. 
 

I am sure I’ve missed half 1 million things but those are kind of like the highlights. 

 

I also forgot to add that my son is extremely sensory avoidant but some autistic people are  very sensory seeking. 

[maritalbliss86]

On 2/5/2021 at 3:58 PM, Seraphim said:

When he got a little older if you changed seasons and had to change to different clothes he would have a total nervous break down and either try and pull up sleeves or down sleeves or pull down pant legs or pull them up depending on the season . If you bought him new shoes he had to have the old ones or he would scream the entire store down. He didn’t play with other kids. 

We've been through this!!!!  For a LONG time I could not get him to wear pants, which was a huge deal when it was freezing cold weather.  But thankfully we don't have bad winters for the most part.  But he would scream and freak out about even just my trying to get him to wear pants.  It was so different, and made me very sad/worried/freaked out myself.

Your description of how your son was at school... ours has a really laid back environment here, and I really only just started his, "proper," schooling this past August for kinder, but from ages 3-5 I did see him sometimes at Sunday school, become extremely anxious and withdrawn.  He also had a speech issue where no one could really understand him back then, so he'd have a meltdown in the Sunday school class, but I started staying with him and became a Teacher's Helper, and that really helped.

But that was only 1 hour once a week!  I can only imagine the trauma he'd go through if he was trying to do school 8 hours 5 days a week... or daycare, etc.  Watching how he didn't enjoy Sunday school class, and couldn't seem to relate to any of this kids... I don't believe school would have been an easy thing.  He didn't seem to bond with any of his teachers until recently... and I could tell he would get so overwhelmed, to the point of tears, and not be able to get help from anyone really.  Very hard to watch.

But he's a lot better now... but we've also done a lot of things to slowly ease him into environments and be there to teach him what things may mean.  Like at a playground when he was almost 5, he got extremely upset... to the point of almost having a meltdown, because he said some other small kid looked at him in a bad way!  But the kid was out there playing and having fun... it took a LONNNNG time to get him to kind of understand that it's ok if kids look at you weird, you just have to keep playing (and that the kid himself was already playing and having fun).  Strange things like that seem hard for him to really comprehend and navigate around in his mind.  I don't know... 

[Seraphim]

On 2/8/2021 at 10:03 AM, maritalbliss86 said:

We've been through this!!!!  For a LONG time I could not get him to wear pants, which was a huge deal when it was freezing cold weather.  But thankfully we don't have bad winters for the most part.  But he would scream and freak out about even just my trying to get him to wear pants.  It was so different, and made me very sad/worried/freaked out myself.

Your description of how your son was at school... ours has a really laid back environment here, and I really only just started his, "proper," schooling this past August for kinder, but from ages 3-5 I did see him sometimes at Sunday school, become extremely anxious and withdrawn.  He also had a speech issue where no one could really understand him back then, so he'd have a meltdown in the Sunday school class, but I started staying with him and became a Teacher's Helper, and that really helped.

But that was only 1 hour once a week!  I can only imagine the trauma he'd go through if he was trying to do school 8 hours 5 days a week... or daycare, etc.  Watching how he didn't enjoy Sunday school class, and couldn't seem to relate to any of this kids... I don't believe school would have been an easy thing.  He didn't seem to bond with any of his teachers until recently... and I could tell he would get so overwhelmed, to the point of tears, and not be able to get help from anyone really.  Very hard to watch.

But he's a lot better now... but we've also done a lot of things to slowly ease him into environments and be there to teach him what things may mean.  Like at a playground when he was almost 5, he got extremely upset... to the point of almost having a meltdown, because he said some other small kid looked at him in a bad way!  But the kid was out there playing and having fun... it took a LONNNNG time to get him to kind of understand that it's ok if kids look at you weird, you just have to keep playing (and that the kid himself was already playing and having fun).  Strange things like that seem hard for him to really comprehend and navigate around in his mind.  I don't know... 

Will answer you tonight hun. 
 

[Seraphim]

Refereeing a complete toddler war today including throwing cars and big toys at each other’s faces and across the room today. One at nap time decided to try and make himself naked . 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[maritalbliss86]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

Refereeing a complete toddler war today including throwing cars and big toys at each other’s faces and across the room today. One at nap time decided to try and make himself naked . 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Don't worry about responding, I know you have your hands full!  Sounds like a Baby War Zone... we've had a few of those from time to time. 

Always entertaining and terrifying. 

Like we've created an army of little people, and they're taking over!  AHHHHhhhh!!!!!

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Don't worry about responding, I know you have your hands full!  Sounds like a Baby War Zone... we've had a few of those from time to time. 

Always entertaining and terrifying. 

Like we've created an army of little people, and they're taking over!  AHHHHhhhh!!!!!

Oh yeah and one already has a black eye from last week from doing a flying face plant into the dollhouse. 

[Seraphim]

FINALLY over for today. They were all WILD. 

[Seraphim]

On 2/8/2021 at 10:03 AM, maritalbliss86 said:

We've been through this!!!!  For a LONG time I could not get him to wear pants, which was a huge deal when it was freezing cold weather.  But thankfully we don't have bad winters for the most part.  But he would scream and freak out about even just my trying to get him to wear pants.  It was so different, and made me very sad/worried/freaked out myself.

Your description of how your son was at school... ours has a really laid back environment here, and I really only just started his, "proper," schooling this past August for kinder, but from ages 3-5 I did see him sometimes at Sunday school, become extremely anxious and withdrawn.  He also had a speech issue where no one could really understand him back then, so he'd have a meltdown in the Sunday school class, but I started staying with him and became a Teacher's Helper, and that really helped.

But that was only 1 hour once a week!  I can only imagine the trauma he'd go through if he was trying to do school 8 hours 5 days a week... or daycare, etc.  Watching how he didn't enjoy Sunday school class, and couldn't seem to relate to any of this kids... I don't believe school would have been an easy thing.  He didn't seem to bond with any of his teachers until recently... and I could tell he would get so overwhelmed, to the point of tears, and not be able to get help from anyone really.  Very hard to watch.

But he's a lot better now... but we've also done a lot of things to slowly ease him into environments and be there to teach him what things may mean.  Like at a playground when he was almost 5, he got extremely upset... to the point of almost having a meltdown, because he said some other small kid looked at him in a bad way!  But the kid was out there playing and having fun... it took a LONNNNG time to get him to kind of understand that it's ok if kids look at you weird, you just have to keep playing (and that the kid himself was already playing and having fun).  Strange things like that seem hard for him to really comprehend and navigate around in his mind.  I don't know... 

It is entirely possible to have SPD without being Autistic. Many people with processing issues also have a lot of anxiety and of course anxiety causes meltdowns and avoidance behaviour. Get them to look again and see if he might have sensory processing issues. 
 

I have some myself , noise being one of them. Ironic since I work with young children. 
 

I have also explored/ exploring whether I am Autistic myself. 

[Jibralta]

10 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I have some myself , noise being one of them.

Noise does it for me, too. Most especially the noise of people talking and interacting. My mom noticed it when I was a baby. I was generally very quiet and calm, and didn't cry much. A perfect baby, she said (especially as compared to my sister lol). But if my mom had guests over, say for Thanksgiving or Christmas, that noise and excitement would knock me off-kilter. I'd cry and be fussy for a couple days after. Then I'd return to peacefulness.

I'm still like that a little bit, now. I go out to restaurants, and I go out and see friends and family, but I do find it draining to be around all of that bustle. Yes, it's worth a good meal, worth seeing people that I like and love, but afterwards I actually need a recovery period. 

Other noise aversions: I don't like to talk on the phone that much. When we're in the car, I turn down the radio when people are talking. Music is ok, but when the advertisements come on, my stress level spikes. I feel instantly better when the volume goes down to zero.

As an adult, I know what to do to mitigate my discomfort. But obviously, I couldn't do that as a baby. So, the stress sunk in and stayed for a while after. 

[Seraphim]

40 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Noise does it for me, too. Most especially the noise of people talking and interacting. My mom noticed it when I was a baby. I was generally very quiet and calm, and didn't cry much. A perfect baby, she said (especially as compared to my sister lol). But if my mom had guests over, say for Thanksgiving or Christmas, that noise and excitement would knock me off-kilter. I'd cry and be fussy for a couple days after. Then I'd return to peacefulness.

I'm still like that a little bit, now. I go out to restaurants, and I go out and see friends and family, but I do find it draining to be around all of that bustle. Yes, it's worth a good meal, worth seeing people that I like and love, but afterwards I actually need a recovery period. 

Other noise aversions: I don't like to talk on the phone that much. When we're in the car, I turn down the radio when people are talking. Music is ok, but when the advertisements come on, my stress level spikes. I feel instantly better when the volume goes down to zero.

As an adult, I know what to do to mitigate my discomfort. But obviously, I couldn't do that as a baby. So, the stress sunk in and stayed for a while after. 

I get you I am just WREAKED after a day with the kids. I just can’t do a thing and need to sleep to even survive. 

[maritalbliss86]

3 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I get you I am just WREAKED after a day with the kids. I just can’t do a thing and need to sleep to even survive. 

Maybe with this new change and move coming you could find something else ❤️ !!!  Seriously, something that's easier on you.

[Seraphim]

3 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Maybe with this new change and move coming you could find something else ❤️ !!!  Seriously, something that's easier on you.

I wish I could make a business out of my crochet work but no one wants to pay for handcrafted which takes mountains of work when they can pay $20 for junk at Walmart. 

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I wish I could make a business out of my crochet work but no one wants to pay for handcrafted which takes mountains of work when they can pay $20 for junk at Walmart. 

I know. People have said to me about my beadwork, "Why don't you sell this? You could sell this!" I'm like, are you kidding me? Sure, if people were paying $3000 per necklace--no problem! But that's not what people are going to pay.

[Seraphim]

9 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I know. People have said to me about my beadwork, "Why don't you sell this? You could sell this!" I'm like, are you kidding me? Sure, if people were paying $3000 per necklace--no problem! But that's not what people are going to pay.

Right? The average afghan is $200 to $1000 depending on the work and materials and time needed. 

[Seraphim]

Special Valentine’s gift for me everyone was picked up by 4:05

[Seraphim]

I have an interview this Friday for a new client to replace the one leaving on maternity it is only for a part-time client though ,unfortunately. But it’s hard finding clients right now for whatever reason so part time is better than no time. I spoke to my husband and my mom . My mom was a business person for decades, and as she says you can’t predict the future so you can’t just hold out and wait for a full-time client because you don’t know what’s coming. Also you could be moving so I would just take what you can get right now. Some income is better than none. 

[Seraphim]

The mom looking is desperate she’s been looking since January she went back to work in January but hasn’t been able to find a daycare yet.