Do I tell my husband that my ancient ex is contacting me?

[Rihannon]

I blocked his number from calling me but I cannot figure out how to block him from texting me. I don't view it as if the person had honestly been holding a torch, it's just that the person often presents himself as if that were the case, which I find hard to believe and a little strange.

 

I wonder if it is my fault and if I was like that Seinfeld character: "a bad breaker-upper"

[Wiseman2]

Google it. And delete and block him from all social media. Stop hanging on then wondering why he reached out acting desperate. Why obsesses about this remote ex? Do you crave the attention?

I cannot figure out how to block him from texting me.

[Rihannon]

Google it. And delete and block him from all social media. Stop hanging on then wondering why he reached out acting desperate. Why obsesses about this remote ex? Do you crave the attention?

 

You have a strange approach and default assumptions about people, that I or maybe other women secretly want this sort of "attention" as you call it repeatedly, or that people "obsess" and "crave." Its very dramatic and provocative language. Is this an intentional strategy of yours? How old are you?

[Rihannon]

I wanted to come back here to say thanks for the help because it helped me deal with this when it happened again. This person had my number from ages ago, I am not connected on social media with this person. I tried finding out how to block the texts but google wasn't much help because my texting program didn't match the instructions I found online. I feel I'm over-explaining here but that's because I feel a bit attacked by wiseman2

[figureitout23]

To be fair rhiannon you're writing posts about people who are supposed to be non factors. Its not a common occurrence.

 

At the end of the day, who cares why exes or old friends or whoever pop back into your life. You either allow them in or you dont.

 

Youre learning to establish boundaries, good for you.

 

Dont take 12 steps back ruminating on reasons why theyre reaching out.

[Unreasonable]

Only tell your husband if you can't rid this guy on your own. You need to make it clear to this guy that you do not want to hear from him again for any reason, then block him. You have been far too conciliatory to him. Exes are exes for a reason, especially if you're MARRIED.

[SherrySher]

Why don't you delete and block this guy? He has no right to be in your life, he has no right to be asking you personal questions or receiving your time.

You are correct in the way that you are someone else's wife and his time in your life is done.

 

His intentions are obviously not to just have a catch up as friends. He is being very devious and disrespectful to your husband.

 

I ask again, why on earth do you keep allowing him to contact you? Do you enjoy the attention, even if it's just you receiving messages from him?

This shouldn't even be an issue, he should have been blocked out of your life long time ago.

[SherrySher]

Obviously I came into this thread late, I am just catching up now.

 

First of all, most of us don't wonder why exe's contact or what they want, we simply block and move on with our lives. Why you keep allowing it, is something to question.

As for why these men contact you, perhaps it is because they know you've got weak boundaries and they might get somewhere.

 

Being nice in these types of cases will only end up with you being treated like a doormat. YOU are someone's wife. Exe's can stay in the past where they belong.

 

Secondly, you mention being worried about one of these exe's posting an intimate photo, you can now prosecute people for doing that. It's against the law and they can be charged.

 

Do yourself a favour (and your husbands) assert yourself more, don't ask why, just block, delete and focus on being happy with your husband.

These other people from your past are only trying to stir up trouble and they have no right.

[reinventmyself]

I think with the internet it's just easier to find people and some people see it as an opportunity.

 

That coupled with too many stories of those who did the same thing with some success and are together today after an extended time apart. I know a few of them.

 

I've just learned to expect it ;/

[SherrySher]

Just out of curiosity, OP, how would you react if your husbands exe's all of a sudden started contacting him?

 

What if he was curious as to why they were contacting them or just wanted to be nice and didn't want to block them?

 

Would it bother you at all?