Trip with friends

[Maddyb12]

Hello all! I usually post about dating but changing it up today lol.

 

My closest friend and I were talking back and forth this week about planning a trip to Vegas (only a three hour drive from where we live). I’m in an intensive program for school right now so I go on Saturdays from 8:00-4:30 which makes planning trips difficult. We had decided on Memorial Day because I have the weekend off from school and we were able to get a room for virtually nothing for two nights. We had been discussing a girls trip but I found out today that the only people who have agreed to go are her boyfriend and their friends who just got married who I’ve never met. I feel a little bit confused and torn because I felt we had planned this trip together and then unbeknownst to me she made it into a couples trip where I’m the tag along? Anyways I decided not to go. But now she’s giving me somewhat of a guilt trip saying she’s sorry that it ended up that way but she still wants me to go. I normally don’t mind being a fifth wheel but there’s a whole other factor at play here. The couple just got married and have been struggle with the husbands drinking problem, they moved out of state to help him get sober but he still drinks when they go out and is planning on drinking in Vegas. I’ve heard all the stories about him doing all these life ruining things and how they had to move to Arizona to get him away from triggers in California yet everytime they all go out they justify him drinking by saying “well he just drinks beer now no hard liquor so it’s okay”. I know everyone has different opinions but I told my friend flat out that I don’t feel comfortable being in Vegas and drinking around someone who is known to have a drinking problem and is apparently working on being sober. I’m not even his friend but I don’t think that’s a fair environment or situation to put him in. Ultimately that’s his choice but I personally don’t feel comfortable with that. My friend says well “that’s not our problem it’s his and you can’t really tell it’s bad when you’re with him”. This sort of thinking and justification is totally crazy to me but I know I am more mature than my friend.

 

Anyways, I’m a little frustrated by the whole situation. I thought we were planning a trip together for our friends but then she turned it into a couple trip and tagged me along, as well as not really seeing why I would be uncomfortable being around the husband who is struggling with sobriety in Vegas.

 

Thoughts? Am I being irrational?

[Hollyj]

I support your decision.

 

First, she should have asked you, before asking these people. Not cool. Second. I would not want to spend my time with someone who has issues with his drinking.

 

Stick to your guns. You did nothing wrong.

[Snny]

The couple just got married and have been struggle with the husbands drinking problem, they moved out of state to help him get sober but he still drinks when they go out and is planning on drinking in Vegas.

...

My friend says well “that’s not our problem it’s his and you can’t really tell it’s bad when you’re with him”.

That would of sealed the deal on backing out. If his problem was so bad that it caused him to uproot his family elsewhere, they seriously don’t think he will cause drama on the trip?

 

I wouldn’t cave to this. Your friend messed this one up.

[melancholy123]

I agree with the responses above. Take a pass on this trip for your very valid reasons. Next time you plan something with your friend, clarify at the outset that it's you and her, nobody else, going.

[Maddyb12]

Thanks you guys! I told her kindly I didn’t feel comfortable and was confused how it turned into a couples trip and brought up being uncomfortable with drinking around someone who they say has a bad drinking problem. It didn’t cause a fight, not sure she understands where I’m coming from but just gonna let it go. Just a little frustrating when you feel you’re making a plan with one person for a fun trip and it gets all flip flopped :( but luckily another friend invited me to Mexico for the weekend which is also a short drive away lol so atleast I’ll still get to have a fun weekend

[boltnrun]

Mexico sounds awesome.

 

Vegas is NOT the place for anyone with either drinking or gambling issues. It's so ENCOURAGED at all the tourist spots to get sh-faced and gamble your money away.

 

One of my friends has a drinking issue...whenever she drinks she becomes angry, argumentative and wants to fight (physically). Last time I was around her when she was drinking she disappeared and my group spent an hour looking for her. She was drunk and became angry because she felt her boyfriend was "ignoring" her, so she hopped into a taxi without telling anyone and left. Those situations are not fun at all.

[Maddyb12]

Mexico sounds awesome.

 

Vegas is NOT the place for anyone with either drinking or gambling issues. It's so ENCOURAGED at all the tourist spots to get sh-faced and gamble your money away.

 

One of my friends has a drinking issue...whenever she drinks she becomes angry, argumentative and wants to fight (physically). Last time I was around her when she was drinking she disappeared and my group spent an hour looking for her. She was drunk and became angry because she felt her boyfriend was "ignoring" her, so she hopped into a taxi without telling anyone and left. Those situations are not fun at all.

 

Yes! The Mexico trip sounds super fun. Her salsa group takes a charter bus down there for the day and then it takes us back late at night. So it should definitely be a fun day! It surprises me the original friend in this post feels comfortable inviting someone with a drinking problem to Vegas, kind of makes me question her overall decision making.

[Batya33]

I would not go -she didn't stick to the plan in a huge way. You're totally fine backing out. And she should apologize.

[Maddyb12]

I would not go -she didn't stick to the plan in a huge way. You're totally fine backing out. And she should apologize.

 

She’s kind of passively apologized but not genuine, just saying she’s sorry it didn’t work out.

[1tym]

Well because of how i am, I would pass on the trip due to completely other reasons.

 

You booked a room for 2 people. now there will be 5. 2 couples in queen beds. Where you going to sleep?>??? No thank You

 

Plus the married couple, i wouldn't want to go with them