Feelings for someone else

[Apple1234]

Ok so I’m 17 and i been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year but within that year he broke up with me so he can have sexual relations with other girls and he cheated on me twice , the first time we didn’t break up because we wanted to work things out but then a month later i found out he was cheating again with a girl who i considered to be a friend after he cheated that time we broke up for about 2 or 3 weeks then we got back together but we broke up again because i found it hard for me to trust him during that time i started talking to a friend and me and the friend ended up having sexual relations but before we had sexual relations he told me how he liked me and had feelings for me , so we started talking but i was still communicating with my ex and he would try to get back together but I’ll tell that I’m not ready because i wanted to see where things would go with my friend but my friend ended up getting a job and barely talked to me i wouldn’t know how he feel about us i was already talk to me ex so me and him ended up getting back together i love him but i have feelings for my friend and i still think about him . I don’t know what to do ,i feel like such a bad person

[Apple1234]

Can i have some advice please

[MissCanuck]

Forget your boyfriend. He is not the guy for you, at all. He doesn't love you. And he will cheat on you again.

[girl1]

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is not ready to be in a steady relationship, and that he has issues remaining loyal to one person. I think that you should move on and try to find someone else who is ready be with you. Both of these guys seem to be focused on other things and can't committ to being with you. You deserve someone who is willing to give you their attention.

[purplepaisley]

You need to detach from both these boys, emotionally and physically. Neither are interested in anything long-term. You are all very young and neither of these boys are interested in anything long-term and serious. They have other priorities including other women. Most boys this age are ill-equipped to pursue and maintain a serious relationship, and you really aren't either. You're young, hormonal, emotional, and you get way too attached to the boys you date/sleep with...I know this because I was once a 17-year-old girl. It's what we do. You need to stop talking to your ex. He is no good for you. You will never trust him, and he will stray again and again. It won't work. Bridges have been burned. You can't detach from him if you keep talking to him. Stop. Outside of exchanging pleasantries at school, no more talking. This other boy you have feelings for -- he has demonstrated you are of little priority for him. Everyone has jobs and they still manage to meet, have a relationship, and get married and have kids and the whole nine yards. He's young and has other priorities. You're not it. You can pine away at your feelings for him, hoping for him to return and live happily ever after....and that is not going to happen.

 

You need to learn acceptance and move on. You will meet a boy who is worth your value. Unfortunately, you have to go through a lot of frogs first. Don't allow yourself to get so attached so fast. Maintain your life, your interests, your friends, and your job and studies. Keep your life well-rounded and balanced so that you don't find yourself becoming so attached to a boy, it becomes the only focus of your life. This is what makes you keep taking these boys back, and they're just not worth it. You are worth so much better than that.

[smackie9]

Apple I think you just don't know where to go, what to do with yourself because your emotions are pulling you in different directions. The practical thing to do is to understand your ex is constantly manipulating you because he knows you are emotionally weak. Everything that has come out of his mouth are lies. You must know this by now. He isn't going to change. As for the friend, he can tell you are still hung up on your ex, so he dropped you. He isn't going to have any of that.

 

You are not a bad person, just young, inexperienced and confused...that's why you have us to tell you, you need to take a break and get yourself sorted out on your own. Spend your time on hanging out with friends, doing fun things, be free from boys for awhile....go find yourself again.

[Gae]

You should let both of them go. You are young and the world is full of interesting guys for you to date. Your boyfriend (ex) has lied and used you too many times now, there is no more forgiving him it's part of building some self-respect for yourself. Your friend is no longer interested as he used to be, does it really matter why? not really, you already know all you need to know to move on. In time, a very short time, you will stop having feelings for your ex and the friend. We all stop having feelings at some point. Don't worry you won't hurt for long.

 

Good luck.

[catfeeder]

Why keep yourself tied to someone who's already demonstrated that he doesn't want to be tied to you?