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Everything posted by girl1

  1. Hi MissCanuck, I think he is so used to his mum carrying the weight of the family, but for me I'm used to family helping each other with chores and household. My mum is concerned that I'm becoming too much of a mum for him also in this relationship. I'm not sure why our plans change when he makes them, I think he just wants to get food instead of planning dates or trying new stuff with me. He has never been employed before, he is currently 21yo. He started doing gardening for a few months and then he injured himself in a fit of rage while gaming, so had to stop work for moths while it healed, I'd say he worked for max 2-3 months, it is all healed now but he's done one gardening job since. That is also my concern that he is unmotivated but I do see some good in him and I see patience when he always finishes what he starts. I don't know if it's an immaturity issue or his spoilt upbringing that makes us so different. Is it a reason to leave or something I should just overlook
  2. Thank you bluecastle, Yes I think you're right, I was caught up in the atmosphere of the fun nights out with friends, jokes and conversations we were once having. It has all seemed to fade and now we're just going through the motions. I don't think he has realised the passion has gone for me, even though I have tried to have subtle conversations with him about it. I can't force the attraction to be there but now I'm scared to let it go.
  3. Thank you @Wiseman2, I worry it's me being selfish leaving him because he doesn't have job and can't do things that I want. Should I be waiting to see if these feelings sort themselves out and the fun come back, or move on?
  4. I've been thinking this is a bad patch and would pass, but more I think it does come down to personality and being compatible. Thanks for your reply, it's very helpful.
  5. Hi everyone, just looking for some advice on my relationship here as I feel all my friends and family are too involved to give unbiased advise. TIA So my boyfriend(21) and I(20) have been together just over 8months, we were part of a friendship group and things developed from there. It was great at the start, we would have interesting conversations, go out on the weekend with all our friends, have lots to do and talk about. But now it feels as if the relationship has started to cool off, there's less fun and more of a chore feeling creeping in and we don't do the things we used to or have interesting convos. we've fallen into a boring pattern of living. He is unemployed and therefore has a lot of free time, he hasn't got a hobby, doesn't help his family out with chores ect and just in general doesn't do much. This didn't worry me until my mum mentioned we might be moving in different directions as I'm a busy body who works, studies, volunteers ect. what free time I do have I often spend with him doing nothing, which bothers me. Id rather have fun dates or plans but we can't because he is unemployed and I can't continue to spend all my money on him. He is generous when he has money and tries to make plans but whenever the date comes up the plan always changes or falls through. I think he has many redeeming qualities, he is kind and patient, but is that enough reason to stay? I feel like the sexual attraction is no longer there either. I love him, he's my best friend, but I think I'm struggling to find reasons to stay in this relationship except to avoid the emotions of a breakup. thanks for reading my rant, I'm not sure what I'm feeling atm and would just like different perspectives/advice thank you
  6. Don't let yourself get to the point where you are super hungry because that is when you will lose the will power or motivation to eat healthy, you should have proper meals that are still healthy but fill you up. Maybe you need to introduce changes slowly, otherwise it can be overwhelming and you fall quickly back into bad habits.
  7. if you're committed to each other and looking to start a family he shouldn't be making all the decisions by himself, you both need to be considered. I would separate the finances. It sounds as if he isn't ready to progress or make change, perhaps he is still holding onto his old life and isn't ready to move on.
  8. He is clearly very angry about the situation with his ex-wife, it sounds very explosive. I wouldn't pursue this person, this is just the tip of the iceberg and more behaviour issues are likely to come to light if you progress with him.
  9. if you do not say anything to her and she is upset over what you have done she may feel like there are issues between you both that you cannot resolve because you refuse to talk or 'argue' about it. Perhaps sending someone else into her room was an invasion of privacy in her mind, she asked you to go not her sister.
  10. If you two did form a friendship she is most likely genuinely concerned for you. There is a chance that she could be giving info to your ex, but your ex could've moved on and they probably aren't discussing you.
  11. If she gave you the dog the dog is now puts, she shouldn't be brining up personally stuff that you told her to pressure you, its a low blow and speaks of her character. You did the right thing to block her, sending threats is not okay. I would try to move on and put her in the past.
  12. It sounds to me like your boyfriend is not ready to be in a steady relationship, and that he has issues remaining loyal to one person. I think that you should move on and try to find someone else who is ready be with you. Both of these guys seem to be focused on other things and can't committ to being with you. You deserve someone who is willing to give you their attention.
  13. Personally I wouldn't text him back. If he's interested in continuing as FWB then he will contact you when he is no longer busy, but by the sounds of things he is no longer interested in continuing the arrangement. There are other men who would be a better friend to you and have more decency with replying to texts while having a FWB arrangement that works for both of you.
  14. Sounds like she's not interested. Also if you think she has a boyfriend you shouldn't be interffering in that, especially because she hasn't given you any sign thats she's romantically interested in you. But if you're still stuck thinking about her I would say to speak to her and directly ask her out, if she says no then move on, don't take it as a challenge to win her over.
  15. It will take time for you to get over them, for a long while I think you'll often look back but eventually it will be without the pain. Whenever you find your self thinking too deeply about them, change your track of thought by going for a walk or listening to music. My advice to get over them would be to block them or take time away from their social media, to go out with friends and enjoy yourself, and focus on your passions and developing a sense of who you are without them.
  16. To me it sounds like there's many issues here and it's unlikely to work out long term. If he's refusing to compromise then the burden falls unfairly on you. His uncompromising attitude and disrespect towards your mum and yourself will make it very hard to maintain a healthy relationship, my advice would be to breakup.
  17. It sounds like you've tried resolving this and they're not realising the effect they're having or they don't care. If talking to them isn't working then it might be time your daughter moves out, somethings got to give before it escalates. It's unfair on your husband to feel uncomfortable in his own home, and this could end up driving a wedge between the two of you if it goes even further. If talking to them isn't working then it might be time your daughter moves out, even if its only a temporary option.
  18. Thank you. Yes, not having the same attraction is my main concern tbh. We did meet quiet a few times while I was over there and our families know each other well, so I do know I'm not being catfished or in danger. But it does add another layer of pressure to the relationship if I'm honest. He has floated the idea of a 2 week holiday in Australia with me, but even then I'm still nervous of letting him down or being uncomfortable.
  19. How they've acted does sound very unreasonable! Surely there's an explanation for why they're acting so drastically? Not being able to have a decent discussion is going to make it very had to resolve anything unless you make a big statement to get their attention, just as they've done. Maybe they feel threatened by the close relationship you share with your husband?
  20. I met a guy while I was overseas in the UK, we hit it off and have been talking romantically online since December, after I returned to Australia. Really strong feelings developed between us and he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said no because we were in different countries. But now he wants to come stay with me for 2 weeks and then move here for a gap year in 2019. I'm concerned that things between us will be significantly different in person rather than online and that if we don't connect the same way things will fall apart. My biggest fear is that I won't be attracted to him when I see him in person and he will be hurt and offended, I don't want to lose this friendship or force myself to feel something that's not there. I don't know whether or not to give this a shot because of the distance and the potential that either of us could get hurt. What should I do??
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