Girl pulled away from KISS attempt on second date...

[thealchemist]

I wouldn’t be interested in a woman who has to be so in control. I’d also take it as a move to keep you in the friend zone.

You wouldn't be interested in a girl who has to be in control of the level of physical intimacy she has with a guy she just started dating? So who should control that? The guy? You only control yourself. The rest is an illusion.

 

If a person is going to be in control of something related to relationships that seems like one of the best to be in control of.

 

I also don't understand how not wanting to kiss on the first date is putting you in the friend zone. She told him she doesn't want to kiss on the second date. Implying she does see it in the future. At least that is how I took the OPs post.

[thornz]

! I wouldn’t be interested in a woman who has to be so in control. !

 

Learn the concept of consent.

[thornz]

FYI there is nothing attractive about someone you barely know lunging towards you gob open, trying to stick their tongue down your throat.

 

Not wanting to kiss on the second date is really not super slow. Plus who knows if she is multidating. Do you want to share saliva with God knows how many others?

[reinventmyself]

I personally don't kiss on a first date. . .maybe a peck on the second.

 

The preconceived obligation to kiss at the end of a date takes away the specialness of it. I will kiss someone when I 'feel' like it.

 

That feeling doesn't have a timetable and varies from person to person. Besides, I just don't feel inclined to swap saliva with someone I am still getting to know.

 

The guy I am seeing now kissed me like his sister (peck) on our 3rd date and continued to do so all through and up to the 5th.

[Peter1223344]

Ok so an update in appreciation for your valued reply!

I left it a few days then asked her out on a certain day, she said she was really "behind with uni work, so I shouldn't tempt her" but she didn't suggest another day.. I asked her again a few days later and she said she was busy again! and didn't suggest another date again.. however we've always countinued to text small talk... I'm 95% sure she was genuinely busy when I have asked as it coincides with her social media activity... but if she's not suggesting another time, does this show Lowe interest??

[SweetGirl28]

Ok so an update in appreciation for your valued reply!

I left it a few days then asked her out on a certain day, she said she was really "behind with uni work, so I shouldn't tempt her" but she didn't suggest another day.. I asked her again a few days later and she said she was busy again! and didn't suggest another date again.. however we've always countinued to text small talk... I'm 95% sure she was genuinely busy when I have asked as it coincides with her social media activity... but if she's not suggesting another time, does this show Lowe interest??

 

Who's doing most of the initiating with the texts?

 

I'd personally let it go, and not ask anymore.

However, if you must do so, you can simply say

"I know you're busy, I'd like to see you. Let me know when you're free to meet up for a bit."

 

That leaves it open for her, because you've done your part.

If she's interested, she will let you know. If not, no loss to you, as you deserve someone

who values you, and wants to spend time getting to know you.

It's not about having time, but about making time.

[wom360]

This is getting sad. Don’t you think after all the rejection it’s finally her turn to ask you? Pretty sure she’s not that interested. And even if she is, it’s going to be an uphill battle.

[willdation]

I don't usually go for a kiss on the first date, but sure on the second if it goes well. If she pulls away, no big deal, just go find someone else. In the end, I would just want to date someone who makes dating easy and pretty much holds the door open for things to progress relationship-wise. People who hold back from a kiss after a few dates are either not interested, too prude (a kiss is just a kiss....I am not 10 years old) for my liking, or are extremely controlling types..

 

Here's the thing...If a woman said she wanted to wait until a kiss..say a few months...then I would assume she would want to wait until marriage for sex as well....and I have never met a women who actually waited until marriage for sex....

 

So I would just assume lack of interest or too controlling for me....

[mustlovedogs]

Wow. I’m blown away that people find that controlling.

[abitbroken]

Yes, i would not have gone for the kiss on the second date. The reason is especially because there was alcohol involved. If there was no alcohol involved, she was giving cues all night where she was initiating more physical touch and you had a moonlit stroll or carriage ride - that's one thing - but i think no matter what - don't be a "by the numbers" guy - "i always kiss on a second date". Especially college age - just let the first few dates be fun.

 

I messaged her saying I felt bad for overstepping her boundaries, but otherwise had fun and I'd like to see her again! She messaged back saying don't worry about it! She had a great night!

 

This message would turn me off a little. the first part. But any rate --- i think going no contact hurt. you don't want her to think you are juggling women. In another week, ask out one more time then leave her be. Ask her to do something specific, tell her when you are free and ask her to pick the night. Then leave he permanently be if she doesn't bite

[thealchemist]

Well I waited until I had dated my wife for a couple months before our first kiss. We also did not wait until marriage for sex.

 

It isn't because we weren't interested in each other or too prudish. It is just that I don't even want to introduce a physical element into a relationship until I am very certain there is a very strong connection and that takes more that one freaking date.

 

It still just seems like a game.

[smackie9]

I grabbed my husband and planted one on him on our first date....why wait lol.

[Jibralta]

But what would take me aback with this woman wouldn't so much be that you didn't get a kiss, but that she was comfortable staying out late with you, having a few drinks with you, playing with each other's hands, and I'm assuming some light and friendly flirting, yet that barrier got thrown up rather arbitrarily at the end.

 

I fail to see how staying out and flirting renders a personal boundary "arbitrary" or "political." Maybe that's how you signal "come hither," but everyone doesn't have to be like you.