In NC and got this message. Should I reply?

[Chief85]

Hi, have a thread elsewhere regarding the relationship/break up so i'll keep it brief.

4 weeks ago asked her to stop contacting me and apart from asking her to come get her things, which she did, haven't spoken.

Got a message from her a week ago saying "Saw you in ?? on Sunday. You looked happy and she seems nice. I'm happy for you.X"

Have a message typed out but not sent to potentially send back:

"Hi, thanks for that last message. Though I don't believe you actually saw me, as I was there 2 days before you said, but the sentiment is appreciated all the same. She's a lovely girl and though it's really early days, things are good. Hope yours is too, that you are well and that your Gran is settling into her new home nicely x"

 

Not expecting anything back, even though I would take her back in a heartbeat of she asked, it would have to come from her though which is unlikely.

 

Advice and thoughts people??

[Chief85]

I should add that I have posted replies that I wanted to say in the 'Post here instead of contacting your ex' thread over the last week, they were kind of inflammatory though and wouldn't help.

This is more to smooth things over and possibly create a friendship.

[Keyman]

Don't respond. Stay NC and keep moving forward. It is too early to be trying to create a friendship with her as you obviously still have feelings. Let it go and keep moving on.

[kbbcoop77]

I would say don’t send that but you probably already have. We usually break NC several times before it sticks. Focus on your new girl. Not fair to her to be second fiddle.

[RainyCoast]

Ya want to smooth things over with your ex

 

But you dating the lovely girl

 

I say just do what you want and eff it up so the both of them forget you for good.

[Chief85]

You're all right. I haven't and won't send it. I knew all along I shouldn't, just having a low moment and needed to hear it.

[kbbcoop77]

You're all right. I haven't and won't send it. I knew all along I shouldn't, just having a low moment and needed to hear it.

 

Believe me I’ve been there. They will pass and the longer you stay no contact BELIEVE me the easier it gets. I remember counting the days and finally 30 day etc..now it’s been over 2 years and some change I don’t even know how long lol.

[SweetGirl28]

No way should you reply.

She's baiting you. Focus on the new girl.

I hope she works out well for you

[HeartGoesOn]

Since you're in "NC", how is she able to contact you?

[Chief85]

Since you're in "NC", how is she able to contact you?

 

She must still have/has had my number I guess

[ThatwasThen]

I would take her back in a heartbeat of she asked,

Then I hope you've told the new girl you are with that you are just dating her casually because you're certainly not being fair if she thinks you're over your ex and ready to be in something new.

 

Don't reply. Starting it all up (if even in correspondence) is just going to keep you mired in this limbo state of "I'd take her back if she would have me."

[Wiseman2]

Good message however keep your personal life out of it and don't take the bait, let her wonder. I don't believe you actually saw me, as I was there 2 days before you said, but the sentiment is appreciated all the same. She's a lovely girl and though it's really early days, things are good.

[figureitout23]

Each time I'd read your posts in the NC thread I'd think to myself 'this guys clearly no where over his ex, he's probably using the new girl as a crutch and revenge, that poor woman.'

 

That's honestly what I thought.

 

Using people in the way you are knowing you are far from ready for another relationship is the deffinition of cruel.

 

Please take this time to be single, heal and work on yourself.

 

I know it hurts and I understand you probably didn't mean the stuff you were saying but this doesn't sound like it's in the least bit healthy.

[Lambert]

Each time I'd read your posts in the NC thread I'd think to myself 'this guys clearly no where over his ex, he's probably using the new girl as a crutch and revenge, that poor woman.'

 

That's honestly what I thought.

 

Using people in the way you are knowing you are far from ready for another relationship is the deffinition of cruel.

 

Please take this time to be single, heal and work on yourself.

 

I know it hurts and I understand you probably didn't mean the stuff you were saying but this doesn't sound like it's in the least bit healthy.

I agree with this.

 

Over 5 yrs ago i was the replacement/rebound gf and that's why i posted on here just this morning concerned i am again.

 

it's totally cruel and makes the person you do it insecure and scared to care about people.

 

Focus on yourself with your friends and your family. stay out of romance until your ready.

[TiredOfDating]

It is very cruel. I've been the rebound girl. I purposely kept things very casual, knowing full well I was most likely the rebound girl. And on one hand, he'd admit he wasn't sure where things were headed, but he was always the one that moved our relationship forward. looking back, each step usually followed something his ex wife said or did with her own boyfriend.

 

If you had to think about responding to your ex for even a second, it's only fair to let the new girl go.

[Whocares479]

I'm more concerned for the new girl than I am for you or your breadcrumbing ex. Let the new girl go and give her the chance to find someone who is emotionally available. The sad part is...she probably doesn't even know you are wallowing over your ex, let her decide if she wants to be a reboud. Why does everyone only care about their own feelings nowadays? Jeez