Talking Again!?!?

[JustMizz]

Just over a month ago, I ran a guy off by doing all the wrong things. I got vulnerable and clingy and over text him to the point he stopped responding.

 

It took a while, but I finally stopped trying to contact him and started working on myself. I have lost 30 pounds and I'm feeling a lot better.

 

I told myself after a month, if I'm still thinking about him, I would try reaching out again, so I did (I know!). I sent a text saying something reminded me of him and made me smile.....with no expectations.

 

He did not respond until after midnight last night (I know again!), and I was asleep so I didn't respond until this morning. He asked how I was doing and said he hadn't heard from me in a while. I played it cool, said I was good. It took a bit, but he finally replied again about an hour ago. We had a short chat, which I ended saying I had to get ready for a family thing and told him to have a good evening. He replied, "You too darling, and have a great rest of the weekend".

 

I'm not going to over think this, and I'm only posting here for a little advice. I know it's reaching to think he could possibly be interested again, and I know the midnight text probably meant he was....lonely. But, I was surprised he text me a little while ago.

 

What do y'all think? Should I just keep playing it cool and see what he does? Could it be he was just being nice? Should I try initiating again in a few days if I don't hear from him?

 

Thanks! (Okay, I'm over thinking a bit, Lol)

[Scoe141]

No, just because he responded doesn't mean you guys are dating again. He was probably being polite.

 

Instead of chasing an apparition, I'd continue to better yourself and look for someone who wants to be with you.

 

Also, if you lost 30 pounds in one month, then I would consult a doctor. Clearly something isn't right.

 

Good luck.

[JustMizz]

No, just because he responded doesn't mean you guys are dating again. He was probably being polite.

 

Instead of chasing an apparition, I'd continue to better yourself and look for someone who wants to be with you.

 

Also, if you lost 30 pounds in one month, then I would consult a doctor. Clearly something isn't right.

 

Good luck.

 

It was 30 pounds in 6 weeks. I've been exercising and cut out sugar and eating healthier.

 

Why would he be polite now after ignoring me? He could have kept on ignoring. I know we aren't dating again. 😊

[boltnrun]

Because it's polite to be polite? Because he isn't a jerko who needs to be rude or ignore you?

 

Just don't fall back into the habit of over texting him again. Let him contact you next.

[JustMizz]

Because it's polite to be polite? Because he isn't a jerko who needs to be rude or ignore you?

 

Just don't fall back into the habit of over texting him again. Let him contact you next.

 

I won't do that ever again!

 

I'm going along with my life. No expectations.

[figureitout23]

I agree with you Mizz, he wasn't being polite. If he was a polite man he wouldn't have ignored you the way that he did. Don't get me wrong you played a huge role in that but again if he was worried about being nice, a midnight text wouldn't be the way to do it.

 

He's probably trying to get you back on the 'she will sleep with me' list.

 

Concidering the timing of his text, it's probably best to walk away with the way things are now. You can hold your head high this time. He's not ignoring you, you're just deciding you deserve better

and you do deserve better than this guy.

[JustMizz]

I thought that, too, figure. And it's probably the case, but he did text me this afternoon, also.

 

I'm going to try and not put too much thought into it and see what happens. It may very well be that I'll never hear from him again, but I'm okay with that. And as you said, if that is his thinking, I know I deserve better.

[figureitout23]

I thought that, too, figure. And it's probably the case, but he did text me this afternoon, also.

 

I'm going to try and not put too much thought into it and see what happens. It may very well be that I'll never hear from him again, but I'm okay with that. And as you said, if that is his thinking, I know I deserve better.

 

It's up to you how to proceed, but I'd tread lightly. I'm basing this solely on your actions with this situation here, you tend to, I guess lie to yourself when it comes to your attachment to him. And I don't even know that it's an attachment to him but rather your need to not be rejected by him. I say that simply because it's been such a short time Mizz. I don't know you two, maybe it was a once in a lifetime true connection. I just don't think it would have went down like it did if that were the case.

 

Youre approaching this with such fear, you're afraid of scaring him away and he's brushing everything under the rug ' oh I haven't heard from you in a while'. He has you wrapped around his finger and he knows it. I just really personally feel if this was something he had an interest in pursuing again he would have reached out to you. You two may very well end up married with 2 kids and a dog. The odds of him respecting you would be low, the odds of you standing up for yourself are also low. This relationship hasn't even started and it's already off balance. Again I am basing this solely on what's been written here, I just really think you'd be better off starting fresh with someone new.

 

The damage to this is just to much. You keep saying you're not going to overthink, you're not going to contact again, you're not this, you're not that and then when you do your reasoning is 'I know' well if you know, stop already.

[JustMizz]

I'm fighting with myself over it. I am moreso attached to the way he made me feel. I've gone out with several guys since, and haven't clicked with any. And I'm no longer sitting around pining for him, I went on the other dates with an open mind. He just remains in the back of my mind.

 

I want to text him, but I want him to contact me, Lol. Maybe this will be the end of it. I'm not chasing him again. I want someone who wants me. Not someone I have to chase. I want what I felt with him to be mutual, if not with him then someone else. I'm not sure when that'll happen because I'm off OLD for right now, it was just getting redundant.

 

I reached out again, mainly to see what would happen. And not much is happening. I haven't heard from him today and I'm not contacting him.

 

I'm just a hopeless romantic, and he really touched that part of me that first night we went out.

[JustMizz]

I didn't think that last reply posted so I retyped it. When I reposted, it was there. Lol

[boltnrun]

OK, so I am going to trust you lol!

 

I am going to trust that you won't convince yourself it's a good idea to text him "just to say 'hi'" or that you can contact him again without getting your hopes up. I can see they're already up, but please,please follow through on letting him make the next contact.

[JustMizz]

OK, so I am going to trust you lol!

 

I am going to trust that you won't convince yourself it's a good idea to text him "just to say 'hi'" or that you can contact him again without getting your hopes up. I can see they're already up, but please,please follow through on letting him make the next contact.

 

I'm trying my best! Lol

 

I want him to contact me because that shows interest. I don't want to contact him and have him just chichat cuz I text him. And if he never contacts me, I know I'll be okay and one day I'll find what I want.

 

My hopes are up a bit, but I'm keeping myself as grounded as possible.

[Sportster2005]

Congratulations on your weight loss.

 

I think that if he is truly interested he will keep the conversation going, and initiate some texts. Why he's responding at all is open to speculation. If he didn't respond at all, you would have an answer. As it is, keep cool.

[JustMizz]

Congratulations on your weight loss.

 

I think that if he is truly interested he will keep the conversation going, and initiate some texts. Why he's responding at all is open to speculation. If he didn't respond at all, you would have an answer. As it is, keep cool.

 

Thank you 😊

[Honeycomb8]

If he wanted you, he would have texted you through the weeks. Last time you did scare him off, so I'd let the past remain in the past.

 

He knows he has you on a string.

[JustMizz]

You're absolutely right, Honeycomb.

[Honeycomb8]

I hope what I said didn't come off too blunt or harsh. I just think you deserve more than someone who is lukewarm. You're better than that. And you did amazing on the weight loss! I know how hard it is to stick to a new healthy regimen! You should go out shopping and buy something that makes you feel amazing! Then go have some fun with friends.

[JustMizz]

I really feel amazing, aside from this sinking feeling.

 

I scoped his Facebook and he's all ga-ga over someone. Oh well.

 

I know one day I'll find someone who deserves and appreciates me. I am continuing with the weight loss, also. It all started with him, so I guess in a way and am thankful he hurt me.

[Darlington]

Is he in a new relationship?

[JustMizz]

Is he in a new relationship?

 

I have no idea.