darter Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Hello, everybody, and thanks in advance for reading such a long question. Let's start with some premises here: I met A. in May 2016, I am a 28 years old Italian man, and she is a 25 years old Russian woman - she was in Rome for vacation. She went back to Moscow, but we kept in contact through chats and Facebook, and we decided to meet in Prague after few weeks. The meeting was lovely. Still, those days made me confused, because I noticed that she was hiding from me some photos that she posted on Facebook. Problems started immediately after: for the whole summer she was elusive, not really willing to communicate. We met again in Italy in September - at the time in which I was choosing between 2 offers for a new job, one in London, the other in Rome. I discussed these offers with her, and she suggested me to accept the opportunity in London. The days after she said me she loved me, and she wanted to come in London with me. Once again, I was very happy, until the moment in which I discovered - in October - that until September included she was still with her old boyfriend. Totally in panic, I deleted a vacation that I bought for us, and I accepted the other job in Rome (luckily, because I love it and I live in my country). I told her that, if she wanted, she would have been more than welcome in coming to Rome, but I would not have done steps in other directions. Although - according to her - suffering because of this change, she did it, and after we spent Christmas together she came to Rome in mid-February with a student visa, that was valid until July. Even at that time, I discovered she had a S. Valentine dinner with her old boyfriend, but I decided to ignore it. I rented a big apartment, with garden for us, and we started living together - although I had still difficulties, and some days preferred to sleep in my older apartment. Day after day I increased my trust in her, and in us, and I tried to give her the best that I could, despite my long working hours. It seemed to me we where happy, except for one thing. She wanted to be married, because it was not possible for her that a person who loves can send her partner back to Russia, and because she came to Rome to be with me. I really much appreciated her efforts, but I was not ready for marriage and I clarified this multiple times. On the other hand, I found an opportunity for a startup visa, using an idea of mine and sponsoring the whole thing by myself for her. Although I made this proposal to her, asking to be in Moscow for just 2-3 months to fix the visa procedures, she said she felt humiliated. She rejected any of my proposals (and she did not even try to send a CV somewhere), because only marriage was a valid alternative for her. Otherwise, it would have meant I did not love her. Eventually, July arrived, and she had to go back, with these discussions regarding marriage going over and over. The first day she was in Moscow, I bought her a ticket to come to Italy after 3 weeks, to be with me for 5 days for an important event I take part every year. She had a lot of doubts, she kept arguing and was not sure if she wanted to come. In the end she came, and I saw on her phone some naked photos, and we had a lot of discussions for marriage. After she went back, I discovered she was sexting and sending naked pics with another man. Time after time, I also learned she asked this man help for a reconstruction she had ongoing in Moscow, and that she kissed him (although I did not have any proof of them having sex, and she said it never happened). She wanted a pause, and after a terrible 5-days time for me, once again, I decided to forgive her and to give a last opportunity - asking her to stop seeing both the old boyfriend and this man. Totally. I even proposed her to go myself to Moscow for few months: she initially rejected, and then accepted (although she required me to go to live for some time also to London). Few days passed, with a lot of pain for both of us, and she went to a dinner with some friends. I came to discover there was this other man at the dinner. I sent her a message asking if it was the case, and she answered that she would have gone away before he arrived. At that point, given she kept lying, I closed every communication with her, blocked her on any social media, except emails. Now she is sending emails to me (to which I answered) and she is saying that she had a lot of pain inside, because she felt unsafe, and I left her going without giving her any confirmation. She said that she made a mistake, but she wants to love and take care of me for the whole life. She sends pictures of her crying and is praying me to get back together. I don't know what to do. I lost any sense of wrong and right, and I would really much appreciate opinions, suggestions, and ideas from anybody. Link to comment
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