Cheating, visa, and marriage: how to deal with all of this?

[AtitAgain]

Do you really believe there is no way she will change?

 

NO! She will not.

[abitbroken]

Do you really believe there is no way she will change?

 

I think she might make you think she has -- but if all she wants is a VISA or to live in Europe, she will go back to her old ways once your relationship is solid again and once she is able to stay in Italy with you. I guarantee it.

 

But more so --- its not about changing - its that this woman treated you SO POORLY from the beginning. And you want to reward someone for treating you badly and sleeping around on you?

 

There are sooo many women who are looking for an honest, caring, guy that has some common interests and that is faithful. don't settle for this.

[darter]

I think she might make you think she has -- but if all she wants is a VISA or to live in Europe, she will go back to her old ways once your relationship is solid again and once she is able to stay in Italy with you. I guarantee it.

 

But more so --- its not about changing - its that this woman treated you SO POORLY from the beginning. And you want to reward someone for treating you badly and sleeping around on you?

 

There are sooo many women who are looking for an honest, caring, guy that has some common interests and that is faithful. don't settle for this.

 

This is true. I think for many reasons I'm not being strong enough here. I really need to take control of this, but it seems that every time I try I loose the control. That's unfortunate, because you are all being very supportive.

[AtitAgain]

This is true. I think for many reasons I'm not being strong enough here. I really need to take control of this, but it seems that every time I try I loose the control. That's unfortunate, because you are all being very supportive.

 

Darter, the issue here is not just her, it is you as well. You are selling yourself short man. Could you imagine a strong confident man letting himself be played like this? Why are you not a strong/confident man? That is what you need to work on, and the first step is to cut this germ, this parasite from your life. She is sucking the life out of you.

 

Why don't you want to be happy? Being with her will only bring you misery and pain. Work on yourself, on confidence, self-esteem, and then find yourself a sweet Italian woman that respects you, or any woman that respects you. One that is with you for who you are, not for your paperwork.

 

Come on Darter, you can do better than this!

[abitbroken]

This is true. I think for many reasons I'm not being strong enough here. I really need to take control of this, but it seems that every time I try I loose the control. That's unfortunate, because you are all being very supportive.

 

 

You lose control because you won't stop communicating with her. It can't be gradual. you need to just rip the bandage off and do it