Confused - do people really do this?

[Pleasedonot5]

Yes, and now through multiple media. The first was Facebook, then again through Facebook, and this time through texting. Also, I understand what you are saying about the attention games people can play. If she was sad about her ex-bf though, then perhaps she didn't want to talk about it with a potential love-interest. That's understandable. Either way, not optimal for me, but I guess I just try to understand situational factors and figure people out

 

Since I just want my g-d coffee date now (I mean that in a tongue-in-cheek way), I just said "Soo, did you get your schedule together yet? Asking for a cool person who wants to get coffee with you!"

 

She responded that she just got her schedule together...

 

And we've finally decided on Friday at 6:00 p.m. What's the over-under on her flaking? Taking bets. xD

 

Maybe I'll just get a friend/some date experience out of this. I'm okay with that at this point because I don't want to be a rebound, but I hate the feeling of being in limbo.

[FirstDates]

If she's active on Facebook she definitely saw it. When I get messages I don't want to respond to, I leave them like that.

 

Your first message was too direct. I think you should've started just chatting and eased in to meeting up

This sums it up!

 

All things considered good job putting yourself out there. That's better that the people that sit back and wait for everything and don't take any initiative!

 

But a bit of mystery and subtly go a long way too!

[Pleasedonot5]

UPDATE:

 

Nope, she didn't flake! I was stood up. Ouch.

[figureitout23]

UPDATE:

 

Nope, she didn't flake! I was stood up. Ouch.

 

It stings but hey, at least now you know! Life's not without risks. This one didn't go as you planned, but other risks will be worth it. Don't let it get you too down.

[Pleasedonot5]

Thanks figureitout23 😊

[SoulTaker]

UPDATE:

 

Nope, she didn't flake! I was stood up. Ouch.

 

It took too long to get the date scheduled, and too much work on your part. Based on how you described yourself, you might have been too sure of yourself in thinking it was going to happen. So, you played her game longer than you should have.

 

The thing now is how to go forward, knowing that you will run into her again. I recommend taking the high road by just saying hello, and then moving on. Don't show any emotions over her, just indifference. It will be the opposite of what she will expect.

[Pleasedonot5]

And that's what I'll do. Thanks, Soultaker.

[Jibralta]

UPDATE:

 

Nope, she didn't flake! I was stood up. Ouch.

 

WOW. Well, now you know.

 

Good for you though, putting yourself out there. Everyone isn't the way that she is.

[SirCheese]

Good on you man for trying - Being totally stood up on is definately a sure fire way of knowing if someone is interested in you or not

 

When you find someone who's interested in you, they'll make it known to you. They won't faff about making plans, if they cancel they'll get back to you with an alternative day & they won't generally miss messages. Until I met my current girlfriend I was used to all the messed up mixed messages (I thought it was normal) but it's definately not & the best thing to do is just cut off rather than getting stuck in your own head

[Pleasedonot5]

Hey everyone,

 

I have small updates, things I just want to get off my chest. I haven't talked to her since I was stood up, and she hasn't talked to me either.

 

I recently deleted social media apps off of my phone. I still have the profiles, but less ease of access, so I usually have to log in to chrome before accessing the sites. This has been most helpful in increasing my happiness.

 

However, it's not a cure-all. I logged onto Twitter one night just to check notifications. I saw a tweet on my news feed from her that was highlighted because of the amount of likes it had received that made me feel awful.

 

It read "Happy national boyfriend day to all of the boys that I said I would go on a date with but never did 🤷 sorry I suck."

 

I thought wow, immature. It received a lot of likes (most of them girls). And instead of apologizing to the Twitter world, why not an actual apology? And instead of asking for attention or trying to show her ex boyfriend that she's getting date requests, how about no? She's also been liking all of my posts (though I make them more rarely now). So I don't get it. I muted her profile because for some reason that post hurt me.

 

Then, two days later (today) I saw her in person again around the university. We waved hi this time cordially and then i went on my way.

 

I suppose it's just disappointing to be as interested in her as I was, and for the situation to go as it did. I wish it didn't affect me, and I wish my ego could move on. Anyways, thank you for listening.

[Jibralta]

And instead of apologizing to the Twitter world, why not an actual apology?

 

Because she's an a$$hole.

 

I hope you find someone who has more respect for other people's feelings.

[figureitout23]

I wouldn't go so far as to call her an a**hole. She's a typical single person. I have never stood anyone up, because I treat people how I want to be treated but that's not how most people operate. People flake and stand peoplle up every day and don't bat an eye. I'm just being honest. Her interest was low from the start so it had very little chance of taking off, she's not a bad person for not being interested in you. By my standards it's rude to stand you up but again, people do it every day and don't blink an eye.

 

I think what happened was you put the cart before the horse and had your expectations super high. That's not a judgement, I do it too, just explaining why I think her tweet stings so much. You're human, we all do it. Lesson learned right? You seem like a nice guy, when the right woman comes along it'll all click, when it's right it's not this hard.

[caro33]

 

It read "Happy national boyfriend day to all of the boys that I said I would go on a date with but never did 🤷 sorry I suck."

 

I thought wow, immature. It received a lot of likes (most of them girls). And instead of apologizing to the Twitter world, why not an actual apology? And instead of asking for attention or trying to show her ex boyfriend that she's getting date requests, how about no? She's also been liking all of my posts (though I make them more rarely now). So I don't get it. I muted her profile because for some reason that post hurt me.

 

I think her post was absolutely awful. And that's not an apology, it's smug and narcissistic. You really dodged a bullet there.

Of course it hurt you, you put yourself out there, you got jerked around, she then posted that statement. If I was you I'd blank her entirely.

Try and congratulate yourself for putting yourself out there, you did well. The problem was her. You'll definitely find women who don't play these games and now you know how to recognise the game players...