He says he want to meet but...

[Youngbird]

I've been talking to a guy for four weeks now.. we really get along well and we are both interested in each other. We have only talked over snapchat though... the reason we have not met before is because we both have been really busy. We agreed to meet this weekend. It's one hour travel for me. But now that we are getting closer to the weekend we have talked about for so long he won't make any plans.. I asked him if he still want to meet me and he says he really want to. So I don't know. He says he's free the entire weekend so I can come whenever I want. what should I do? Should I just say when I plan to come or..? I'm new to this dating game haha. I don't know what to do. I just want to have fun and not take it to serious but it's difficult..

[nutbrownhare]

Suggest a time when it's convenient for you, check that it's OK for him and go for it! Simples....

[jennylove]

Why are you putting forth all the effort?? No.

[ginaloribic]

Hi Youngbird, I hope you are well.

 

The thing that grabbed my attention the most from your post is the last sentence "I just want to have fun and not take it to serious but it's difficult..". My personal opinion is that trying to date or meet someone who is an hours travel away from you makes it difficult to keep something fun or casual. Although I'm not saying that it wouldn't be possible.

 

The fact he doesn't seem to be making any firm plans about you visiting could either mean he's not sure about the situation and is trying to play it cool. Or he could just be that type of person, lives in the moment, doesn't look to far ahead.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't read in to things too much just yet. If he say's he is happy to meet & you are too, then go for it. You can't truly get a feel for each other until you have met face to face.

 

If you do go ahead, I hope it all works out for you.

[Hollyj]

Why are you putting forth all the effort?? No.

 

I agree! Why the hell are you going to him??? At the very least, you should be meeting halfway.

 

You do not go to him. You should also look local. How can you have a relationship with someone who lives so far

[DanZee]

If both of you guys are that busy that you couldn't meet for coffee or dinner over the past four weeks, maybe neither of you should be dating. You still don't know too much about him and you could be setting yourself up for a disappointment. Also, are you just going to go over his place and hang out like a bro? Not a very interesting date.

 

An hour's commute isn't very long. It use to take me an hour to get to work in the morning and an hour to get home. It's nothing. Why couldn't he make the effort to come and take you out somewhere? Is he expecting a booty call.

 

Maybe you need to back up a little and handle this more like a regular dating situation. Have coffee or lunch somewhere. Get to know each other. Let the relationship evolve. Don't plunge in all at once.

[DancingFool]

Well...where I live, an hour commute is what most people drive just to get to work. So it's not really that big of a deal distance wise.

 

That said, I do agree with some of the posters that it's a bit odd he is not offering to come to your neck of the woods and not making any concrete plans either. The thought that he might be looking for an easy hook up crossed my mind as well.

 

In your shoes, I'd keep it safe and simple. Forget traveling to him. Instead, pick a half way spot - a nice busy lunch place and just meet face to face and see if you even like each other in person. Take the reins and give him time/date/location. Talking to someone for a month can create a false sense of connection when in reality he is still very much a total stranger to you. Also, no matter how much you've talked, in person chemistry and attraction can only be determined in person. A great click online can fizzle out quickly the moment you see each other. So go in with neutral expectations.