Wife won't talk to my family

[abitbroken]

You are right. I don't think it is "baby brain" talk either - though - I'm not really able to tell what is these days. I don't dare to tell my wife when her emotions are getting the best of her. This is a situation where she is anxious, worried, and trying to set firm boundaries. She says that in the past she has done things taking into consideration my feelings, and therefore neglecting her own needs. I just think this approach is so severe. How can I hope for any kind of cordial / decent relationship if she won't even entertain a phone call or text? How can I hope that we might have a normal family life when she wants nothing to do with them? It seems she's made up her mind about who they are, and who they have the potential to be. She doesn't believe that they will ever improve. I know in my heart that they are good, loving people, who do in fact mean well. I know we can have a decent family life, but that begins with trying!!

 

She does not have to entertain a call or text. In fact, myself and all of my siblings' husbands/wives have a good relationship. But they all have boundaries. The person who is the child of the parents that are of issue are the ones who communicate and talk to the parents -- son or daughter in law does not. They deal with their own parents. My siblings and i call eachother when we are talking about something major and then the sibling decides how his/her individual family is going to react, contribute or deal with whatever it is. So your parents should be calling and talking to you, not her. She should not have to entertain calls and texts from them

[tattoobunnie]

When you allow them to treat the mother your child and wife with major disrespect, you are enabling them to treat her poorly.

 

Stress can cause miscarriage, and if they cause her a great deal of stress, one should avoid that level of stress.

 

They may be on goody two shoes for now, but it's really just a ploy to get what they want; like a game. That animosity and cruelty will show up, and they will of course show themselves again to your child. Whether they back talk about your wife to your child or not, something is still wrong. You don't go from being cruel to lovey dovey, and especially without apologies and break-throughs on their behavior.

 

I haven't communicated with my MIL since I was pregnant with my first child Fall of 2011 after she left 20 messages on my phone in a row threatening me. She of course spent two years stalking us, and now has since only stalk us once in a while that I am aware of.

 

My husband has stood by us in all of this. He got the brunt of the years of emotionally abuse, endless emails, texts, voicemails, that still keep reminding us of his histrionic personality. So, if your family is cruel to your wife, don't ever make her put up with it. Forcing her to play nice is only going to keep the cycle of abuse going. Do what is best for your family (your wife and kid); not your folks and sister who historically have been abusive to her.

 

Anyone can play nice to get a result; but a change in behavior has to be present for at least 6 months to years at a time to be genuine.

[gohawks292]

Perfectly said!!!

[Wiseman2]

Thread is 3 years old.

Perfectly said!!!

[gohawks292]

Lol realize this but it was something that i needed to read that yesterday. It helped me get through something[emoji56]

[TrutHurts]

There are two types of categories formed when we talk about family. Primary & Secondary. When you were single without any children, your primary family were your parents and that excludes any siblings that you might have. As soon as you got married, you became a husband and when you have a child then you take on your father's title and your family becomes primary.

 

Both of you should concentrate on your own family, the rest are secondary and your siblings will have their own families.

[boltnrun]

There are two types of categories formed when we talk about family. Primary & Secondary. When you were single without any children, your primary family were your parents and that excludes any siblings that you might have. As soon as you got married, you became a husband and when you have a child then you take on your father's title and your family becomes primary.

 

Both of you should concentrate on your own family, the rest are secondary and your siblings will have their own families.

 

Thread is almost three years old. OP probably not still here reading responses.