We had sex before telling him I have genital herpes

[electricorchid]

Hi, i dont know how you contracted this but if your ex gave it to you and didnt tell you.. you cannot expect to live like this and behave the same way. This is why stds spread because of irresponsibility and shame of not telling people. Face your reality, if this guy likes you enough not even herpes will stop him from seeing you. You made a mistake, forgive yourself and ask him to talk sunday evening. You need. To. Be honest.

[MissCanuck]

Hi, i dont know how you contracted this but if your ex gave it to you and didnt tell you.. you cannot expect to live like this and behave the same way. This is why stds spread because of irresponsibility and shame of not telling people. Face your reality, if this guy likes you enough not even herpes will stop him from seeing you. You made a mistake, forgive yourself and ask him to talk sunday evening. You need. To. Be honest.

 

She already did talk to him. He ended it.

[glitterfingers]

OP, find a new job so you can move on and forget this part of your life. It's the kind of thing that might cause your mental health to suffer, if there's a lurking fear of being socially stigmatised in the workplace, however small the likelihood is in reality.

 

You made a mistake, but better things await you. Just be proud you have the strength to do the right thing, accept the results and move on with your life.

[olympic reject]

You may be disappointed that he was not willing to work with you upon learning the news of this issue, however, he is the one who resisted the condom and by doing so HE EXPOSED YOU TO THE POSSIBILITY OF PREGNANCY, so.....he is not exactly so angelic. I would say that he was not such a prize, and a better man awaits you.

 

I have been a bit depressed from what happened after that day. That's why I haven't been so responsive. Thank you guys so much for all the positive words!

[olympic reject]

OP, find a new job so you can move on and forget this part of your life. It's the kind of thing that might cause your mental health to suffer, if there's a lurking fear of being socially stigmatised in the workplace, however small the likelihood is in reality.

 

You made a mistake, but better things await you. Just be proud you have the strength to do the right thing, accept the results and move on with your life.

 

 

It has been mentally screwing me down. I guess I care so much of what people might think of me (for being so selfish and dishonest)

 

I can't wait to leave this job, everyday I live in fear of every single time my colleagues give me that weird look straight in my eyes, I would think, "this is it. He told everyone about it"

[Starlight925]

Please don't beat yourself up about this. Just take it as a lesson learned and yes, tell any future partner about it prior to having sex. And you know what? You should still be the one insisting on a condom, because you don't know what they're being honest about. They could expose you to a far worse STD....and yes, there is far worse than Herpes.

 

You will find a partner who accepts you, and appreciates your honesty. The rest? Forget about 'em. I have a very good friend who was unbelievably scared to tell her new boyfriend, but she finally did, and they will be married 15 years, with 2 kids, soon. He's never gotten it (or shown visible signs), and he doesn't care if he does. And he's not some loser, he's a great-looking, awesome guy. The right guy will appreciate your openness.

 

As for this episode? Lesson: learned. Page: turned.

 

I applaud you for even having the openness to post about it here. You knew you'd be opening yourself up to all sorts of criticism and judgment, and you have hung in there.

[figureitout23]

It has been mentally screwing me down. I guess I care so much of what people might think of me (for being so selfish and dishonest)

 

I can't wait to leave this job, everyday I live in fear of every single time my colleagues give me that weird look straight in my eyes, I would think, "this is it. He told everyone about it"

 

I won't pretend to understand what you're going through and I am sorry it ended the way it did, but you did the right thing. Telling him was the right thing to do and you can hold your head high knowing that.

 

If he shared something that intimate, especially concidering he was ready to have sex with you without protection ( what if you weren't diagnosed yet?) that's a reflection on him, not you. You are unfortunately one of hundreds of thousands of people and lack of proper protection and communication is what helps STDs spread like wildfire. Mistakes happen and you're facing them. That's what matters.