chimva96 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 My gf of 3.5 years dumped me early May due to me neglecting her/taking her for granted. Unless someone is interested in hearing all the details I will choose to leave them out. In short, university was very demanding and I ignorantly I picked up the habit of smoking weed which undoubtedly catalyzed the death of our relationship. Eventually I was high more than I was sober and I began to get my priorities mixed up and wasn't making time for her. The truth is I was young, dumb, and inexperienced. I thought that just because we were together for so long that she wouldn't break up with me. She told me I have always been selfish. I now understand I had insecurity issues and chose to let her fill the voids in my heart rather than fill them myself. Ultimately never feeling satisfied and inevitably pushing her away in attempts to test her love for me. Generally, this seems to be one of the main reasons men take their women for granted. I understand the mistakes I have made and would rather not be chastised (I have grieved enough). I've made good progress moving on and feel that her leaving me is justified b/c I understand she couldn't be happy with how I treated her those last months. I love her so much and just want her to be happy. We did have very amazing times I do wish that one day she recalls them and gives me another try. However I understand this is very unlikely (.00001% chance) :sorrow: She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, loving, incredibly intelligent, extremely loyal, conserved, etc. Literally, the entire package and everything I could ask for. She was my first true love and real relationship. We were high school sweethearts. Everyone told us we were goals. I feel so lucky and unlucky to have found such a good one as my first. Also I can't stop comparing other women to her. The healing process has been especially difficult b/c I can't seem to forgive myself for neglecting such a princess. I hate that I let myself pass up such a quality women. She did nothing but show me love and all I did was take it and abused it. Now I'm drowning in guilt. I actually can't recall a single flaw she had. It seems all of our issues stemmed from my insecurities and my selfish ways to appease them. Just the fact that she stayed so long after all the crap I gave her makes me realize even more her capacity to love and how I wasted it. I was mistaken to think her love was infinite. I ran her dry. I just want to tell her I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have done that enough and its effect has been diluted. I can't believe I ended up being "that" guy.. I was so stupid... Link to comment
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