gemsyv Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 Hello Everyone It's been some years since I have posted on here about an ex boyfriend and hoped I would never have to come back (in the nicest possible way) but here I am. I'll try and keep it brief.... I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months tomorrow. He moved in with me 4 months into our relationship which has had it's huge challenges mainly surrounding the fact he has a 5 year old daughter who stays with us every weekend. Understandably this was a HUGE adjustment for me for obvious reasons and it's been a very rocky road but thankfully having his daughter around lately has finally smoothed out. I have a great relationship with her and I feel like in the last 2 months I have finally found my flow and place with it all. HOWEVER what I still can't deal with is the daily contact my boyfriend has with his ex wife. She started school last September and has been literally ill with a different ailment every other week since so the contact has increased immensely. Now let me just add that I am under no illusions that their conversations are purely about their daughter's welfare but I still can't get to grips with it and every single conversation or bit of contact he has with her tears me apart especially on the days where we have had a row or not getting on knowing that she has the best of him. My BF hates talking on the phone and will do anything to avoid calling me, yet when I find out he has called the ex for the tiniest detail that he could have text her to ask, it ties me in knots. I am an extremely jealous person so meeting and falling in love with someone who has his ex wife as a constant present in his life feels like a disaster at times. If I had known that 18 months on I would still feel this rotten about it then I wouldn't have pursued the relationship but now I'm this far in, and she is the only thing we argue about, I just don't want to leave him even though more days than not I feel so down about the situation and wish she didn't exist! She's not a threat to me at all, and he's made it very clear that he left her as was never truly in love with her, didn't find her attractive and they were more like best friends but that still doesn't change the fact he married her and had a baby together, even though she wasn't planned, and because of that they will always have a relationship that I'm an outsider of. I know this is about my personal insecurities (I am having counselling to address this) and have to either put up or shut up as me 'moaning' at him for something he can't change is making him miserable but I just feel like I'm in a rock and a hard place 100% of the time. I either stay and feel anxious every time I know they've been talking or leave the love of my life. Lose/Lose!! Has anyone else been in this situation? Did it get better? Can I overcome this? There's lots more I could say but I'll leave it at that for now............ Link to comment
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