Hrenee32 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 So little bit of background info, he's 30 and I'm 34. I have a 10 year old son and he has 4 children, 9, 6, 4 and 7 months. We have been together for 9 months and when we started dating I knew he had a baby on the way. We live together now and have my son and his youngest full time. The baby's mother is not very involved so I've been mom to the little one loving him as my own. His other kids have regular visitation and I adore all of them.He is a disabled veteran so he doesn't work and I work as an extremely busy hair stylist. Basically if I do or say something that he doesn't like he immediately tears into me, calling me horrid names and saying terrible things about my personality and who I am. I recorded him last night and it was literally an hour of him berating and making fun of me while I pathetically cried, which he happily pointed out as being pathetic and disgusting. I know I'm not perfect but don't think I'm anywhere near as bad as he claims. He confuses me and scrambles my brain into thinking that maybe he's right though and it is all my fault, whatever "it" may be at the time. This morning I sneezed and he yelled at me for intentionally trying to wake him up?? I take care of the baby every night after work, he sleeps with me so if he gets up I do too. Yet my bf says I don't help enough. He claims I'm not as involved as I should be because of my work but I don't have a choice but to work. He says I'm too sensitive and that I'm delusional about the real world. He trashes my place, yes it's my place, doesn't clean up after himself and gets angry if I say anything. He allows his children to literally throw trash on the floor and doesn't care. If I complain then I'm accused of being negative and unhappy in general. Yesterday he told me he's not happy with me and that he's moving out. I guess I should feel relieved but I just feel intense pain. I begged him telling him I will do whatever he needs, that I would go to counseling and just anything he wanted but he told me that I can't change and I'll make anyone I'm with miserable. I'm so heartbroken, not just over him but the fact that I have raised his baby from day 1 as my own. I also found out I was pregnant two weeks ago. He doesn't agree but I've made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. It's like in the back of mind I know this is not something I want to bring another child into. I'm sure of my decision so please don't judge that. I just feel it's something to be mentioned because obviously I'm more emotional and tired than usual and honestly just don't feel well most of the time. He says it's not an excuse to be tired after work or to cry over everything. I wish I could convey the depth of hurtful things he says to me, it's honestly anything you can think of. He has no limits on name calling and tearing down. I just need help getting through this I guess. Right now im in a place where I want to be with him and I don't want to lose the kids, I'm so scared of the pain that will come with this. I know I'm not crazy but I do question whether it's my fault often. I'm sure him leaving is for the best but I just don't know how to deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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