I feel terrible

[Hit1]

I have just told my wife of 15 years that I can't be in a relationship any longer. We have three young kids and I feel absolutely worried sick about them because I have chosen to do this.

 

My wife has serious issues that mean she always has to be the centre of attention and will create dramas, often medical, in order to gain sympathy and attention.

 

We have had ambulances called out, multiple hospital stays, and many dramas that are simply unexplained or just go away.

 

This year she took an overdose in January to 'have a break for a week' which led to a hospital stay, she made a disturbing call about our kids that lead to a social services investigation, and she had a breakdown and took more pills this month which led to her been kept in hospital for three weeks. She works in health care, knows the system and her own psychiatrist told me she is manipulative and sent her to a different hospital in another city this last time.

 

Everybody, including her close family, have expressed major concerns about her to me since I told her it was over. They have all told me I'm doing the right thing for me and the kids.

 

I've learned so many things about her in this last three weeks that I either didn't know or I was simply blind to and I am horrified at myself for letting this go on for years 'for the sake of the kids'. I have become a different person and fear that if I don't do this I myself will become sick.

 

She has the same diagnosis again that she's been getting for years, just anothe me change in tablets, and different counsellor lined up. She tells me she's better and is coming home because the kids need her. It's been three weeks in a calm and happy home and I'm dreading it.

 

I don't love her, it's that simple. But I love my kids with all my heart and this is tearing me apart.

 

Am I doing the right thing?

 

Thank you

[Hollyj]

Yes! You are! This a dangerous environment for you and your kids.

 

What is her diagnosis?

[Jibralta]

I don't know all of the details, but if she's a threat to your children you are doing the right thing. Do you have a plan in place for your next steps?

[LaHermes]

OP. I truly feel for you. What a dreadful situation.

 

I wonder about this:

 

"She works in health care, knows the system and her own psychiatrist told me she is manipulative and sent her to a different hospital in another city this last time.

 

How did someone so unstable get into the health care sector without vetting as to her mental state?

"

[j.man]

Do what you need to do in order to provide a secure and stable home for your children. Was there a point in your marriage that your wife wasn't mentally ill? Have you spoken to an attorney on steps you'd need to take to ensure you win custody?

[Kalika]

Keep copies of her medical records You may need them should this become a custody issue.

 

You are doing the right thing. She sounds like she has significant mental health issues, and does not sound fit to be caring for your kids. Having someone who is mentally ill can significantly affect your kids. I repeat: YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. Your #1 job at this point is to protect your kids at all costs.

[Seraphim]

Absolutely you're doing the right thing ! Apply for total custody of your children . Document and collect all paperwork you can .

[melancholy123]

Are you taking the kids with you? I hope so, she should not have sole custody of them day in and day out.

[Ziggy123]

Do whatever is best for you and the kids. I feel really sorry for her though. I hope she gets the help she needs and can get mentally stable. That is really sad for everyone involved.

[Lester]

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