Trying to lose virginity but the pain is unbearable !!

[Loralora]

Can I ask from all of the people that have comented here, how many tries did it take before losing your virginity?

 

And can you all also give a little details of how it went?

 

Thanks

[Loralora]

Sherry, everyone, why should she have to lie or pretend to the doctor. It is NOT the doctors' place to pass judgement or even question her. The gynaecologist's job is to treat the conditions, not decide if the patient is going to commit a "sin". Heavens!!!

 

Because since I am a medical student she knows me, and knows medical staff that know me. I don't want everyone finding out I'm about to have sex hahaha. Especially in my strikt culture.

 

I seriously never get a break. The things most people find easy to do become difficult for me

[LaHermes]

One time, Lora, one time. And no it wasn't painful, but then if the man is able to carry you on such a wave of passion that you wouldn't feel it even if he bit your ear off. It is a one-off experience and IMO one shouldn't be anaesthetised in order to feel that "first time" together.

 

I am still perplexed about the medical profession wherever you are.

 

So the doctor would immediately tell everyone on the staff and the rest of the world that you are thinking of having sex. What kind of doctor is she. Doctors have a code of ethics and conduct and that includes confidentiality.

[limichelle]

Well I was raped that's how my virginity was taken and I was small and tight. It hurt really bad!! It took just one forceful try on his part. In your situation you don't have to say tampon you could say you notice something different going on with you down there.

 

Lisa

[Loralora]

One time, Lora, one time. And no it wasn't painful, but then if the man is able to carry you on such a wave of passion that you wouldn't feel it even if he bit your ear off. It is a one-off experience and IMO one shouldn't be anaesthetised in order to feel that "first time" together.

 

I am still perplexed about the medical profession wherever you are.

 

So the doctor would immediately tell everyone on the staff and the rest of the world that you are thinking of having sex. What kind of doctor is she. Doctors have a code of ethics and conduct and that includes confidentiality.

 

Yea doctors do have a code of ethics. Maybe she won't tell; maybe I'm just judging her.

 

But a lot of gossip goes on in the medical profession all around the world you'd be surprised!

 

You think Grey's Anatomy is just a tv show; it has a LOT of similarities. But the difference is reality is much worse..

 

And nurses carry most of it.

 

My boyfriend is a doctor and when I first started dating him I was very sceptic because I said being in the same profession and knowing most of the same staff might cause more gossip and problems. Because there are jealous people that cause problems just because they can.

 

He tells me I need to be more relaxed when we do it. It's just scary for me.

I also flex my muscles involuntarily

 

He is a vascular surgery resident maybe he can cut it a little...I'd have to think about him doing it..

[Loralora]

Well I was raped that's how my virginity was taken and I was small and tight. It hurt really bad!! It took just one forceful try on his part. In your situation you don't have to say tampon you could say you notice something different going on with you down there.

 

Lisa

 

I am so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how awful of a feeling that must have been!

 

There are horrible people on this world!

It has made you stronger...because anything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

 

Thanks for sharing!

[Dahl]

Perhaps you might consider talking to her on a medical professional to medical professional level, then? Something along the lines of simply, I noticed this about my physique, with my training, I am concerned it may be an issue, and I wanted a your input - nothing about your private experience with sexual activities, at this point?

 

Good luck.

[LaHermes]

Your BF is right. You do need to be more relaxed. And no it is a horrible idea to ask him to cut the hymen. He is supposed to enter in an entirely different way.

Just GO see that gynaecologist, and if you must, also tell her you do not wish any of the nurses to be informed.

Otherwise then travel to some other location to have the little procedure done.

[mustlovedogs]

Tampons are awesome. They make day to day life much easier. I don't know why anyone would question you if that was your answer.

[LaHermes]

I agree, MLD. But what I cannot fathom is that OP cannot go to a gynaecologist (in this case a woman gynae) and simply ask to have the hymen windened, without further explanation. Besides we tend to forget that doctors have seen and heard it all before!!!

 

 

Lora, on another thread you remarked:

 

"The reason we don't have sex is because of our culture and premarital sex is frowned upon in our culture (especially for women).

 

I am the one postponing sex not him since I am still a virgin and I didn't want to lose my virginity until I am a little bit more sure he is the one..

 

I'm thinking about having sex soon, that might bring us closer together..and I'm tired of staying a virgin...none of my friends are anymore...I'm tired of being a "good girl" and of all of this "cultural" crap...I'm starting not to even care if we have sex and break up anymore...before I used to think it was tragic having sex with a guy and not marrying them.

 

Besides nobody believes there are 27 year old virgins still in the world haha..not even here my country...everybody thinks I've done it already.."

 

So, what's the big problem?! I refer to that last sentence which I bolded.

[mustlovedogs]

I agree, MLD. But what I cannot fathom is that OP cannot go to a gynaecologist (in this case a woman gynae) and simply ask to have the hymen windened, without further explanation. Besides we tend to forget that doctors have seen and heard it all before!!!

 

Oh, I agree - but if it makes the OP feel better and less awkward, why not

[Loralora]

Perhaps you might consider talking to her on a medical professional to medical professional level, then? Something along the lines of simply, I noticed this about my physique, with my training, I am concerned it may be an issue, and I wanted a your input - nothing about your private experience with sexual activities, at this point?

 

Good luck.

Thanks...yeah something along those lines..

[Loralora]

I agree, MLD. But what I cannot fathom is that OP cannot go to a gynaecologist (in this case a woman gynae) and simply ask to have the hymen windened, without further explanation. Besides we tend to forget that doctors have seen and heard it all before!!!

 

 

Lora, on another thread you remarked:

 

"The reason we don't have sex is because of our culture and premarital sex is frowned upon in our culture (especially for women).

 

I am the one postponing sex not him since I am still a virgin and I didn't want to lose my virginity until I am a little bit more sure he is the one..

 

I'm thinking about having sex soon, that might bring us closer together..and I'm tired of staying a virgin...none of my friends are anymore...I'm tired of being a "good girl" and of all of this "cultural" crap...I'm starting not to even care if we have sex and break up anymore...before I used to think it was tragic having sex with a guy and not marrying them.

 

Besides nobody believes there are 27 year old virgins still in the world haha..not even here my country...everybody thinks I've done it already.."

 

So, what's the big problem?! I refer to that last sentence which I bolded.

 

Yeah I bet you 100% no one believes I'm still a virgin. But them having actual proof that I am not hahaha that is the difference..

 

It's not even about them knowing...it's about just avoding having to deal with that whole situation..

 

I don't know if I am describing it right...it's just an ackward situation that I do not look forward to and would be happy to avoid it..

[LaHermes]

Now we're getting somewhere....

 

"......it's about just avoding having to deal with that whole situation.."

 

Who are the "they" who will get "actual proof". Please tell me the gynae isn't going to charge down the corridors waving a large white bloodied handkerchief after she does the procedure, yelling: "Lora is going to have sex now."

[Loralora]

So EVERYONE that tried to lose their virginity lost it the first time they tried to?

[LaHermes]

I don't know, Lora, no one else has said. I can only tell you my experience.

 

It isn't supposed to be an ordeal, like trial by fire, that's for sure. So, please seek the remedy and get on with it. L.

 

 

Ahhh, just one other thing. "trying to have sex". You don't "try". You have it. It isn't like trying to climb a mountain. L.

[Loralora]

Now we're getting somewhere....

 

"......it's about just avoding having to deal with that whole situation.."

 

Who are the "they" who will get "actual proof". Please tell me the gynae isn't going to charge down the corridors waving a large white bloodied handkerchief after she does the procedure, yelling: "Lora is going to have sex now."

 

Haha she probably isn't; I'd just be much happier to avoid it..

[Loralora]

Today after trying it felt like my skin was ripping apart.

 

It was an awful feeling and I got sweaty from all of the pain!

 

Especially at big forced tries. He would stop when I would have big pain; but if he hadn't stoped it probably would have at least cracked but who knows how much bleeding there would have been..

 

Thanks everyone for your advice...

 

AND IF ANYONE HAS HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE PLEASE SHARE.

 

OR ANY VIRGINITY LOSING EXPERIENCE IS APPRECIATED. THANKS.

[SherrySher]

It's not supposed to be that painful at all. That sounds horrible. I am sorry you're going through this.

[melancholy123]

Sherry, everyone, why should she have to lie or pretend to the doctor. It is NOT the doctors' place to pass judgement or even question her. The gynaecologist's job is to treat the conditions, not decide if the patient is going to commit a "sin". Heavens!!!

 

I agree with you and I dont know where the OP lives but it sounds like one of those backwards, repressed countries and maybe she is right that the medical staff do have big mouths and would go telling others about her request for help and then where would she be? My suggestion would be she goes to a doctor who doesnt know her and perhaps is a fair distance from where she lives, to lessen the potential for blabbermouths to discuss her medical problems.

[Loralora]

It's not supposed to be that painful at all. That sounds horrible. I am sorry you're going through this.

 

And plus I had taken painkillers before trying!

[melancholy123]

Can I ask from all of the people that have comented here, how many tries did it take before losing your virginity?

 

And can you all also give a little details of how it went?

 

 

 

Thanks

 

Once, and it didnt hurt, and I was 17.

[Loralora]

Once, and it didnt hurt, and I was 17.

 

Wow..it didn't hurt at all? Did you bleed?

 

There are some people that have no hymen. Some have a very elastic hymen no need to crack.

Some have a hymen with multiple holes in it.

Some only have a hymen and no opening/holes in it.

Some have a rigid hymen with a mikro(very tinny)-opening..

[Nikkijade]

Try to relax and not think about it as that will cause you to tense up and make it difficult. I have trouble with my partner sometimes i just try to completely relax and my partner spends a lot of time kissing me and touching to help relax me. Try getting him to give you oral sex as that helps you loosen up a lot too. Try oral sex and maybe get him to insert 1 finger to start with and in time build up to sex. Hope this helps x

[LaHermes]

"Estrogen naturally primes the tissue to stretch and wear away as girls develop, and the shape and size also varies from person to person. Ironically, the least common coronal formation is the imperforate hymen that stretches all but completely across the vaginal canal - in other words, how we typically misconceptualize it.

 

By the time many women have sex, that vaginal corona may have devolved from a doughnut to an unnoticeable rubber band all by itself. Not to mention the myriad ways girls can stretch and tear the vaginal corona sans sexual activity, including bike riding, horseback riding, inserting tampons, masturbation and dancing (don’t tell the “Footloose” preacher). Weighing that utter uselessness against its cultural impact on women’s lives, the hymen might be the most overrated flap of flesh in the human body, the anatomical equivalent of a sexually charged appendix."

 

From a Huff Post Article