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Everything posted by Loralora

  1. Does this mean that if he had a chance with her he will cheat on me. And it also means that he thinks that she is more beautiful or hotter than me. It shows that if he had chances with women he finds hot he will cheat.
  2. I read some texts on viber on my husband's phone between my husband and his friend talking about how hot a woman that works at the police station is. Am I supposed to confront him for this since it makes me feel really bad? My husband was like : "O my God you won't believe what I saw at the police station today" he gave him her name and told him "check her out on instagram" And his friend replied by calling her lover a lucky bastard.
  3. I don't think we're staying because we're trapped in a traditional marriage. I met him at college our parents didn't know each other before we met, they met through us. We kept our relationship hidden from our parents for almost a year. He had time to talk about the list; he just didn't want to. He said I can do it and there's nothing more to talk about it. I asked him again today. Did you read the list carefully and he said yes. Can you fufill it he said yes. He doesn't want to say or talk more about it. So I guess I'll have to wait and see if anything changes from now on. I will try to
  4. No we didn't agree on him not seeing his friends as he did. We're having this friend issue eversince the baby came. And I would never tell him to stop seeing his friends but not 3 to 4 times a day. Not to overdue it or he can see them even 3 to 4 times (sometimes) a day as long as I don't need him at home. Or when everything is okay at home. As a new dad he should be around the house more he knows the baby is a handful and help me a little more. I haven't been able to see my friends even for an hour ever since I gave birth. Whenever I go out I have to come back quick. He even gets angr
  5. Yes I certanly CAN NOT make him change. If he doesn't want to change then no I will not be able to make him otherwise he would have changed by now. I'm giving him one last shot if he doesn't take it he will lose me. I hope he realises it in time. Things might go as far as me quiting and him realising he had to change only after we get a divorce. Hey I don't mind the house work if everything else was okay. I'm used to the housework that's how my family raised us too, my brothers never did anything around the house I did everything and I was a medical student just like they. So I had to w
  6. The couch sleeping era is over. I am sleeping on the bed again. I also put my wedding ring back on since I decided to try again I want to do it right. I don't know if you heard but European (Albanian more specificaly) men don't cook or do laundry. He does clean sometimes I can't take that away from him but very very rarely only when I am sick or something. When I was sick in the hospital he took his laundry to his mothers, he doesn't even know how to turn on the washing machine. I blame mothers they do everything for their sons and make only their daughters work around the house so they
  7. I don't know if he ignored it or not time will tell. But if I see no changes from him I'm getting a divorce. What changes should I make according to you Wiseman?
  8. One more thing..when I mentioned the sex part. It's not like I'm this woman that craves it. Honestly i can go months without it but I know he can't....so if he's not doing it with me ? It could be that he's too tired to do it with anybody..I don't know... Another thing we have to talk about..
  9. No I don't want to be someone that polices him. I wish I won't have to any longer. I want to be able to trust him that will take years to rebuild. And no I am not content with the habits I have developed. There are many things I wish I would do differently. (Or better yet be allowed) to do differently. What I meant when I said "prove you want to spent more time because you enjoy" he can do that by not going so often out with his friends during his free time and staying with me more at home and while he stayes be happy and not angry because he'd rather be somewhere else.- that is what I mean
  10. He doesn't talk much on general even when he's happy. So an "ok" was an expected response from him once I sent him the list. Even when things are well he responds very shortly. After he came back form going out with the friend he was like let's go to bed. I said I need to feed the baby first. So he waited and didn't go until I fed the baby I think he wanted to make sure I didn't end up sleeping on the couch. After I finished he was like ok lets go. I felt bad to tell him no I'm sleeping on the couch again. So I went in the bed room and I slept on the bed. He took that as a green lig
  11. It's very hard to pin him down in one place. That's why I sent it at work. I don't think he mines it's something we're used to doing. He didn't want to talk much about the list after he came home. He just said yes I can do that. I asked him do you have a list for me and he said no. So we had dinner, coffee (which I made) talked about only the baby and then I asked him if he can stay with the baby while I take a shower and go out and do some shopping and he said ok. Once I came back he again went out with another friend for like an hour (we live in the city center surrounded by coff
  12. Hey I didn't force him to stay. I specifically asked him to leave and let me think. He's the one who choose to stay so I don't care if that's what he thinks. If I decide to move on, I will not continue to nagg. This time I was very serious there weren't any "fake" ultimatums set. I asked him to leave he didn't. I asked him several times. I wanted to go to an appartment that my dad bought for me but one of his friends is staying there. I told him to tell his friend to free the apartment and be didn't do that either. I wanted to leave but there weren't options for me to go anywhere due
  13. We'll talk about it today. He will be here in about an hour while I'm busy cooking, cleaning and taking care of our baby.
  14. Eversince those things happend years passed and we didn't have the same problem unitl now. That is the reason I stayed and hopped. No I will not do any patroling (that's crazy). Maybe phone checking yes until I regain trust. I told him I should be able to look at your phone and not find anything shady. I told him you can look at mine anytime you want to. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. If any repeated behaviour catches my attention then we are done. He knows..it's up to him. If everyone focused only on the problems no couple would stay married. It was nev
  15. Remember this Lora? "my mom and dad don't get along at all and eventhough they don't get along AT ALL they still stay together. I've told them they should just get a divorce but they never go there. They probably want to but do to cultural reasons and gossip they don't.." So what advice would you give yourself? Trust me this wouldn't stop me. Especially since I grew up seeing their toxic relationship. I still think we can fix it. My mom's and dad's situation is completely different they fight like all the time for 30 years. My husband and I don't fight all the time months go by
  16. Even friends fight sometimes. I will sincerely try it one last time. This time in a nicer and calmer way. If he is truly willing to keep trying, I will give him one last chance. Thank you everyone for your help. You all did help me.
  17. Wise man gave medical excamples here. I understand that he is trying to tell me that I should focus on more imporant things going on in my life and not on this. But the problem is that what my husband did here is: Instead of focusing on a patient with a cardiac arrest he went and treated a soar throat while leaving the cardiac arrest patient to die (that being me). It doesn't just hurt me that he did it again; but he did it in the worst possible time. It shows me how unthoughful he was. And it makes me second guess some of his feelings towards me. If I saw someone I love hurting. I wou
  18. Well if he is that facinated with her then he should continue but he will be stuck with her and lose me forever. If he is that stupid then he should continue. In the end I can't make him stop if he doesn't want to stop. He'll go his way and I'll go my way. The reason I threat and make lists is that there is no other way left, I tried saying it in a soft calm manner it didn't work. He has overlyfriended other female coallegues in the past, helped them more than he needed to. Like writing motivational letters for one. This is one other reason.
  19. Not good. It was my one of my lowest moments. I'm not that sorry though because he's taken this nurse thing too far in a weak moment of my life he should of been more supportive and here for me not having coffee with forbiden nurses.
  20. I don't think he doesn't love me. I think he works too much and has too much stress at work and this baby made everything even more stressful. He's in vascular surgery it's alot. I don't think he's handeling the stress well and also I think he likes attention from women. He has changed a little. Back then he wasn't this stressed out. He would chose his words much more carefuly. I don't think he is a bad person he just has some bad habits that I'm starting to get really tired of because my life has become more stressful also.
  21. Neither of us have the time to go to a therapist right now and no there aren't many options here. I forgot to mention four days ago, (right after I found out he went out with the nurse again )when my mom got the result of the biopsi, I sent it to an Oncologist (colleague of ours) that we are both friends with on facebook. Well he happens to be very cute and young (much cutter than this nurse). I also have to confess that I did it out of spite. Because I knew my mom had her own Oncologyst that my dad has found for her. Well the Oncologist was very nice and responded very well. He even i
  22. I will let you all know how it turns out. Thank you everyone
  23. Good point I think I should also ask him what he wants from me and our marriage. I'll tell him this list is what I want from you, now you need to tell me what you want from me and I'll tell you if I can do that or not.
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