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30 days of No Contact log ( Think I can do it?)

Whocares479

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Whocares479 Community Regular

Whocares479

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DAY 7 COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoop whoop! So the dreaded day is over. The day I usually find a stupid reason to contact him. I miss him a tiny bit, however, my desires for him has slightly diminished. I've been surrounded by friends and activities so my mind is occupied, and he no longer has a permanent spot in it.

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Shunsparkle Contributor

Shunsparkle

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I'm at around the 2 week mark now of us breaking up. And around this time is when I start to get desperate and begging him to be with me. I'm trying so hard not to break again. I do miss him, but what do I miss? There was many bad things about our relationship and many red flags I wish I had seen sooner. This week is gonna be the hard one for me

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Shunsparkle Contributor

Shunsparkle

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DAY 7 COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoop whoop! So the dreaded day is over. The day I usually find a stupid reason to contact him. I miss him a tiny bit, however, my desires for him has slightly diminished. I've been surrounded by friends and activities so my mind is occupied, and he no longer has a permanent spot in it.

 

Well done hun!! So proud of you!

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1a1a Mentor

1a1a

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This thread is such a good idea!!! Lonely Loner tiny boats analogy is so on point. Couldn't help but try expanding it in my head. Do we slowly but surely build those tiny boats into big boats out of flotsam and jetsam? Or do we use them to get to shore, and how in touch we stayed with the rest of our lives dictates how close or far the shore is? Do we buy a bigger boat and head back out to sea again? Are we meant to be land or sea based?! (I take them too far).

 

Other analogy I've been toying with is that a relationship is like a pillar that holds our life up. But pillars can be made out of other things like meaningful platonic connections, hobbies, passions, goals, ambitions. A year and a half ago some one left me and I had none of those things, he'd been the only thing holding me up. I shattered, it was awful. Second time around has been awful too (I mean here I am posting on enotalone at 2:30am instead of sleeping because I feel like something is missing, I feel insecure as a single person - adrift, ah hah), but no where near as much so. In no small part because a day after we went on break I had a really awesome series of friendly interactions, a good night at work, and sometimes I feel sad I tell myself to take that feeling and use it to create something. Once I even successfully did it! (in my case, music, something I always thought I would make, but have for ever been too lazy to do so).

 

So, I am hoping I can join you all, although I'm not quite in the same boat. (Ex and I are currently on break at the end of which we meet to see how each other feels, back story here ). But I am striving to be content alone and I think there is a 99% chance that when I meet with my ex he will say "I still don't know what I want". Which is very definitely the same as saying "I don't want you". And in this current break situation, and when we meet and he says something other than "I emphatically want to be with you", (although one day we shall be friends again,) I won't be turning to him for comfort any time soon so no contact outside of work is definitely a goal. (And I didn't expressly state this as a boundary for the break and he's been sending me bread crumbs and it is soooo easy to clutch at them like the straws they are. I am trying very hard not to do that).

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Heart of gold Apprentice

Heart of gold

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I'm at around the 2 week mark now of us breaking up. And around this time is when I start to get desperate and begging him to be with me. I'm trying so hard not to break again. I do miss him, but what do I miss? There was many bad things about our relationship and many red flags I wish I had seen sooner. This week is gonna be the hard one for me

 

I'm right there with you! Just over the 2 week mark.

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Heart of gold Apprentice

Heart of gold

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I am managing. I'm sorry I couldn't keep up No Contact with you. Good job on maintaining! You are very strong.

 

I never could before because I always thought I was going to marry him and didn't wanna waste days away with NC. But now I know there's no future I haven't got a reason to get in touch with him. You will get there too.i was the gf who'd ring him over and over and send him a million texts in the space of half an hour and I bet he is even waiting for the day I give in. I broke NC after a week too. But since I saw him on that day, I promised myself I wouldn't get in touch again. The way he behaved around me was not good. Acted like I was still his when I wasn't.

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Whocares479 Community Regular

Whocares479

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I never could before because I always thought I was going to marry him and didn't wanna waste days away with NC. But now I know there's no future I haven't got a reason to get in touch with him. You will get there too.i was the gf who'd ring him over and over and send him a million texts in the space of half an hour and I bet he is even waiting for the day I give in. I broke NC after a week too. But since I saw him on that day, I promised myself I wouldn't get in touch again. The way he behaved around me was not good. Acted like I was still his when I wasn't.

 

Do you think you can deal if he contacts you first?

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Heart of gold Apprentice

Heart of gold

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Do you think you can deal if he contacts you first?

 

I wanted him to so I could tell him where to go..but whether I'd be strong enough to do that I don't know...I've changed my number tho.

I drove past him the other day and I didn't feel what I usually feel...it made me feel better seeing him looking so unkempt (I know I sound like a cow) but he's put me through so much.

 

I fell in love with him and always thought id marry him and now I'm being introduced to other people and my heart is just dead. I hate him for that. I can't hate myself because my intentions were clear and pure but i hate him for stealing my chance of meeting someone happily. Now I feel like il just settle then maybe later il fall in love.

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Lonely Loner Explorer

Lonely Loner

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No your writing skills are perfectly fine!!! And I agree, we can still be kindhearted without being ran over. Thank you for all the support, I really appreciate it!

 

Thank you, i really appreciate it also and i know im late but im glad to hear you made it passed day 7 good job.. Keep going

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Lonely Loner Explorer

Lonely Loner

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I agree. The only text I would respond to is "can we about us? I miss being together.. I want that again" or something with a DIRECT INTENTION OF "TOGETHER AGAIN"

 

don't text to ask me how I am... My response to that is one I wouldn't even bother to send. "I'm fine. Please stay away....."

 

Not because I don't want to talk to him or see him but because I don't want to feel worse! Talking to him and casually chit chatting at this point would just make me feel sick. I don't want to feel sick. Not worth it to me.

 

Yes.. Everything you said i totally agree... Freaking breads, had my share a week ago and no other message since. Asking me how i am doing lol like i was gonna respond to that

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Dominique Proficient

Dominique

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I wanted him to so I could tell him where to go..but whether I'd be strong enough to do that I don't know...I've changed my number tho.

I drove past him the other day and I didn't feel what I usually feel...it made me feel better seeing him looking so unkempt (I know I sound like a cow) but he's put me through so much.

 

I fell in love with him and always thought id marry him and now I'm being introduced to other people and my heart is just dead. I hate him for that. I can't hate myself because my intentions were clear and pure but i hate him for stealing my chance of meeting someone happily. Now I feel like il just settle then maybe later il fall in love.

 

You don't sound like a cow. I totally agree with you and understand how u must be feeling.

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Dominique Proficient

Dominique

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Yes.. Everything you said i totally agree... Freaking breads, had my share a week ago and no other message since. Asking me how i am doing lol like i was gonna respond to that

 

I'm glad u feel that way. It's better that u don't reply. No good will come of that for you. You will just be hurt more and u don't need that.

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Blackchapter Apprentice

Blackchapter

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Hello everyone. I'm glad all of you are keeping NC.

 

Just would like to share a personal experience because some of you want to stay NC only for 30 days and try again. I tried doing 30 days NC. When I got close to it ( around day 27 or 28 ) I had this super strong urge to text her. I stopped myself and said that if somehow this superstitiously 30 number is the day her heart starts missing me, why should I cave in 3 days left when I've done 7 times that amount already so I waited.

 

When day 30 came I was feeling very good and didn't miss her so 30 days turned to 60. I broke NC after 2 months to see how she was and all I got was a cold shoulder and ghosting.

 

So my advice would be to carry on NC indefinitely. Dw that's the same advice I've sworn to go by.

 

I still haven't opened her last message, been 2 weeks now since she sent that. I thought I'd be weak and open it eventually but I'm doing great. I'll keep it there and if she contacts me somewhere down the road being all nice I can read her cold text she sent me 2 weeks ago for the first time and just say ain't you the same person being all cold a while back?

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