30 days of No Contact log ( Think I can do it?)

[hrb23]

Thank you so much Dominique. That was a nice perspective.

 

I guess since I am leaving Georgia because school is almost out, I wanted to see him one last time. It is sooo stupid I know. Today is poopy for me. I think its because my distractions are subsiding.

 

Create more distractions! The possibilities are endless. Leaving GA will be a distraction in itself. Seeing him will only undo all the hard work you've done and I know that's not something you want.

 

It's okay to have poopy days but there are ways to make them better!

[Shunsparkle]

Thank you so much Dominique. That was a nice perspective.

 

I guess since I am leaving Georgia because school is almost out, I wanted to see him one last time. It is sooo stupid I know. Today is poopy for me. I think its because my distractions are subsiding.

 

It's so hard I know, keep strong and don't see him. He'll regret what he did to you down the line in sure of it. Even if he doesn't tell you he's sorry, he will be

[Lonely Loner]

Okayyyyy, so everyone knows from the thread that my ex left me coldly after we became intimate. After a day of pleading and begging I was unable to get the answers I wanted so I went NC. I am scared because the urge to get closure is back again. If anyone could spare a little time to give me some advice, it will be greatly appreciated.

 

Close that book lol put a lock on it, melt the key, then burn that book, afterwards toss it in the sea.. That wasn't a good book anyway but learn from it. Take all of the good and lessons you learned and write a new book.. I know some people say chapters when it comes to relationships but if you just tear out the pages there will always be a scar there.

 

A book is meant be closed when you're finished with it, therefore it represents closure more than just ending a chapter lol idk but yea forget closure. I didn't get my proper closure, i wanted to know if she knew this guy that she's with now the whole time we were dating because she told me she knew him for a while. I use to ask if she was talking to any other guy besides me and she would get so defensive and say i didn't trust her idk if i was wrong to ask, however i guess she was and thats why she got defensive but anyways i don't care anymore.. Im 22 or 23 days into no contact and i could careless

 

So yea.. Forget him lol soon you won't care for closure. It may hurt to get closure then you will have to start over from scratch. Don't give in keep going

[Whocares479]

Thanks guys for the support. I've been keeping my head up. I have a lil cold so I'll be sleeping. Good, I wont be thinking about him.

[Whocares479]

Close that book lol put a lock on it, melt the key, then burn that book, afterwards toss it in the sea.. That wasn't a good book anyway but learn from it. Take all of the good and lessons you learned and write a new book.. I know some people say chapters when it comes to relationships but if you just tear out the pages there will always be a scar there.

 

A book is meant be closed when you're finished with it, therefore it represents closure more than just ending a chapter lol idk but yea forget closure. I didn't get my proper closure, i wanted to know if she knew this guy that she's with now the whole time we were dating because she told me she knew him for a while. I use to ask if she was talking to any other guy besides me and she would get so defensive and say i didn't trust her idk if i was wrong to ask, however i guess she was and thats why she got defensive but anyways i don't care anymore.. Im 22 or 23 days into no contact and i could careless

 

So yea.. Forget him lol soon you won't care for closure. It may hurt to get closure then you will have to start over from scratch. Don't give in keep going

 

Thank you so much, you are such a sweetheart. I can't wait until the day where I couldn't care less.

[boltnrun]

Think really hard about how it went the last time you approached him seeking "closure". How did that go? How did you feel afterward?

 

Go back and re-read the posts you made on this forum after you had sex with him and how he treated you after. Recall clearly how you felt.

 

Then, decide you will NOT put yourself through that again.

[Lonely Loner]

Thank you so much, you are such a sweetheart. I can't wait until the day where I couldn't care less.

 

Its coming soon i hope you feel better!!! Thank you

[Blackchapter]

Ok. I won't message her, i will keep going after 30 days and i apologize for not saying this sooner but i appreciate your strength and support. Ive been reading and if im not mistaken, you went passed 30 day no contact and keep moving and you're now way pass day 60 or 70 days, if that is you.

 

If so then I thank you because you are big inspiration to me and im glad we met, and you're absolutely right about becoming a better version of yourself, women wants a man that is confident and i need work.. So thanks again

 

No my current situation is different. The first break-up my ex ex she got with some dude. I was a doormat until that point. As soon as those words left her lips a part of me died that day. I became more...remorseless. And you know what the craziest thing is? Girls started to come to me like bees to honey. As soon as I became the jerk there were so many girls who wanted to change me back. I finally gave my latest lost love the chance.

 

I lost my ex because she started having doubts about us and there was no one else involved. I asked her back once two weeks after after breakup full NC and she shut me down. Then I read about the 30 day NC thing and when it hit day 30 I continued going as I was going through the anger stage of the breakup. Didn't even want to hear her name. So I kept on going. About day 63 I met someone who used to know us as a couple and she was shocked to hear we had ended as to her we were the perfect couple.

 

Talking to my friend brought back good memories so I tried my luck. Got the cold shoulder. She tried explaining it in her last message which is unopened to this day. So I'm not breaking NC. Ever. Again.

[Blackchapter]

You have been a huge help on this thread. Your advice is greatly appreciated.

 

You started this thread. You're the leader. It's like you guys are on some long journey with your backpacks in a beautiful scenery (think lord of the rings or untouched land) and its gone sunset and you guys have stumbled upon an old man's camp, me being the old man and I'm sharing my wisdom with you guys as you all sit close by the fire.

[Blackchapter]

In two minds about adding this paragraph because it feels off topic but if we can all encourage each other to get out there and chomp on life and the chomping helps us move on, then it's worth sharing. So, I'm on a mission to try new things, tonight I took a free Swing dancing class. It was awkward af because I had no partner, and everyone partnered up and then there was just me and I had to go with a teacher (oh hai primary school all over again). But about half way through the teacher left me, and I saw there was an older woman who also had no partner, so I offered to be her guy Confirmed, dancing breaks the ice. Sure I won't be dating this one but I've progressed from downright hating swing dancing (it's the music that goes with it really) to thinking maybe it would be fun to take a proper class. The teachers' demo at the end was cool, cooler than any swing dancing I've seen performed, it looked cheeky and fun. (Still what I really want to do is hip hop dancing So much swag!!!)

 

This is what I was banging about in the beginning of this thread. Dance, cook, read, whatever club exists that will broaden your horizon go and effing join it. That's what I did. Joined my fighting club.

 

Today my instructor pulled me to the side. I was like ok here we go, criticism again but atleast listen to everything he says. To my surprise he was like in s quiet voice "well done. You've come really far in the short time you have been training. And it's been very short so I'm proud of you. Keep up the good work." I was so happy (fangirling haha), should have humbled myself because I have a sprained wrist which happened just as the lesson finished looool. But oh well. I feel f***ing awesome.

[Shunsparkle]

It honestly is so hard to ignore his messages when he gets in touch

[Lonely Loner]

No my current situation is different. The first break-up my ex ex she got with some dude. I was a doormat until that point. As soon as those words left her lips a part of me died that day. I became more...remorseless. And you know what the craziest thing is? Girls started to come to me like bees to honey. As soon as I became the jerk there were so many girls who wanted to change me back. I finally gave my latest lost love the chance.

 

I lost my ex because she started having doubts about us and there was no one else involved. I asked her back once two weeks after after breakup full NC and she shut me down. Then I read about the 30 day NC thing and when it hit day 30 I continued going as I was going through the anger stage of the breakup. Didn't even want to hear her name. So I kept on going. About day 63 I met someone who used to know us as a couple and she was shocked to hear we had ended as to her we were the perfect couple.

 

Talking to my friend brought back good memories so I tried my luck. Got the cold shoulder. She tried explaining it in her last message which is unopened to this day. So I'm not breaking NC. Ever. Again.

 

Haha yes it is you!!! You're him!!! ^.^ uh huh.. Yep im familiar with the story and you have been a big inspiration to me because im plan on going pass 30 days no contact and not looking back too.. Thank you. You and everyone else on here have been a big help and i love the support lol and yea it is like we're all on this long journey of togetherness and with each passing day we all get stronger.. Whocares479 you started this journey.. You are the leader lead on sister.. Lead on

[Whocares479]

Think really hard about how it went the last time you approached him seeking "closure". How did that go? How did you feel afterward?

 

Go back and re-read the posts you made on this forum after you had sex with him and how he treated you after. Recall clearly how you felt.

 

Then, decide you will NOT put yourself through that again.

 

You are absolutely right. I love how raw you are. It really helps to open my eyes to things I clearly don't want to see. Thank you.

[Whocares479]

You started this thread. You're the leader. It's like you guys are on some long journey with your backpacks in a beautiful scenery (think lord of the rings or untouched land) and its gone sunset and you guys have stumbled upon an old man's camp, me being the old man and I'm sharing my wisdom with you guys as you all sit close by the fire.

 

The analogies lol I love them. I do feel like we are all on a journey and it is always nice to have that one person who has already went through it. We are all different people hear from different walks of life and we can all come together because we have one thing in common. A broken heart...that we are all ready to put back together .

[Whocares479]

Haha yes it is you!!! You're him!!! ^.^ uh huh.. Yep im familiar with the story and you have been a big inspiration to me because im plan on going pass 30 days no contact and not looking back too.. Thank you. You and everyone else on here have been a big help and i love the support lol and yea it is like we're all on this long journey of togetherness and with each passing day we all get stronger.. Whocares479 you started this journey.. You are the leader lead on sister.. Lead on

 

We all are leading in our own way. We all having something to bring to the table!! You guys are the absolute best!!!!

[Whocares479]

It honestly is so hard to ignore his messages when he gets in touch

 

Does he send you messages with a clear intent to get back together? If not, block him.

[boltnrun]

I don't know how to sugar coat. I regard it as lying. I would not feel good about being less than honest with anyone. That's why I say things in such a blunt way.

 

Not everyone likes my approach. But be assured I will never in good faith try to encourage anyone to do something that will probably be hurtful to themselves or to others.

 

I can't see that contacting your ex for "closure" can end well for you. It's not going to be different this time, unfortunately.

 

I'd like to see you realizing this man just isn't right for you. You can meet someone who IS right for you when you are ready.

[Whocares479]

I don't know how to sugar coat. I regard it as lying. I would not feel good about being less than honest with anyone. That's why I say things in such a blunt way.

 

Not everyone likes my approach. But be assured I will never in good faith try to encourage anyone to do something that will probably be hurtful to themselves or to others.

 

I can't see that contacting your ex for "closure" can end well for you. It's not going to be different this time, unfortunately.

 

I'd like to see you realizing this man just isn't right for you. You can meet someone who IS right for you when you are ready.

 

The people who don't appreciate your approach probably is not ready for the full truth. Thank you for your kind words, plus you have been consistent with reading my threads so I know you know somewhat of the full story. You are greatly appreciated.

[Whocares479]

Day 11 is over. I have a tiny cold so I am not too great. I have come to appreciate family and friends more. I miss him, however, not enough to risk the pain he put me through. I hope everyone is doing well.

[Dominique]

Day 11 is over. I have a tiny cold so I am not too great. I have come to appreciate family and friends more. I miss him, however, not enough to risk the pain he put me through. I hope everyone is doing well.

 

I hope u feel better. Don't put yourself in more pain. Don't break.

[hrb23]

X called yesterday afternoon while I was trying to nap. I picked up bc I was half asleep and didn't recognize the number (I had deleted in my phone.)

 

She was asking me why I blocked her and if she could say bye. She was asking why we couldn't be friends and I told her it's bc I'm still in love and could never be happy as her friend especially with the bf around.

 

She burst into tears. She was telling me how she wishes she had of met me before she met her X bc we would have never had trust issues and we would have been together forever (LOL you left me for someone else that wasn't even your X.......)

 

Then she told me she was still in love with me and no relationship would ever be like ours whatever ours is.

 

I told her nothing had changed and that I wouldn't be friends and could not talk to her anymore as long as nothing had changed (which it hasn't.)

 

She also told me her aunt was sick (like really sick) and in hospital. Now I feel like a monster for not being there.

 

Yikes...

 

In other news I played last night and we tied 1-1, I scored the goal! It took my mind off of it a bit! Now I'm back to that morning slump. I guess it was a bit of an ego boost that she would say all of that even if it is BS. Her need to call me said a lot. I'll be starting NC again today. It sucks because she said a lot of things last night that made me really sad and really miss us. I want her back. But it's not my choice and it's a choice she will never make.

[Blackchapter]

X called yesterday afternoon while I was trying to nap. I picked up bc I was half asleep and didn't recognize the number (I had deleted in my phone.)

 

She was asking me why I blocked her and if she could say bye. She was asking why we couldn't be friends and I told her it's bc I'm still in love and could never be happy as her friend especially with the bf around.

 

She burst into tears. She was telling me how she wishes she had of met me before she met her X bc we would have never had trust issues and we would have been together forever (LOL you left me for someone else that wasn't even your X.......)

 

Then she told me she was still in love with me and no relationship would ever be like ours whatever ours is.

 

I told her nothing had changed and that I wouldn't be friends and could not talk to her anymore as long as nothing had changed (which it hasn't.)

 

She also told me her aunt was sick (like really sick) and in hospital. Now I feel like a monster for not being there.

 

Yikes...

 

In other news I played last night and we tied 1-1, I scored the goal! It took my mind off of it a bit! Now I'm back to that morning slump. I guess it was a bit of an ego boost that she would say all of that even if it is BS. Her need to call me said a lot. I'll be starting NC again today. It sucks because she said a lot of things last night that made me really sad and really miss us. I want her back. But it's not my choice and it's a choice she will never make.

 

Did I not tell you that blocking her would make you more chase worthy? Did i not tell you?! But in all words she's just sh**ing out excuses to keep in touch with you. The reason she broke down was because you became a man instead of some whiny guy trying to get something back.

 

As far as her aunt is concerned you shouldn't feel the slightest bit hurt. What you should have said to her was "I'm sorry that you're going through this. I really am. You need to be reaching out to your support network, friends, family, the new guy. I'm sorry but you need them to help you get through this."

Keep your head up bro

[hrb23]

Did I not tell you that blocking her would make you more chase worthy? Did i not tell you?! But in all words she's just sh**ing out excuses to keep in touch with you. The reason she broke down was because you became a man instead of some whiny guy trying to get something back.

 

As far as her aunt is concerned you shouldn't feel the slightest bit hurt. What you should have said to her was "I'm sorry that you're going through this. I really am. You need to be reaching out to your support network, friends, family, the new guy. I'm sorry but you need them to help you get through this."

Keep your head up bro

 

Well I didn't quite say that. What I said was please do not contact me unless you or your family needs anything with regards to your Aunt or if you want to meet up and seriously discuss reconciling. She won't.

[Whocares479]

if you want to meet up and seriously discuss reconciling. She won't.

 

With that statement alone to her, you have officially lost value in her eyes. Now she knows no matter how tough and manly you act with blocking her, she can still use you as sloopy seconds after her boyfriend dumps her. There is a difference between moving on and waiitng. You, my friend, is WAITING.

[hrb23]

With that statement alone to her, you have officially lost value in her eyes. Now she knows no matter how tough and manly you act with blocking her, she can still use you as sloopy seconds after her boyfriend dumps her. There is a difference between moving on and waiitng. You, my friend, is WAITING.

 

Like your name says...who cares. My value in her eyes doesn't matter any more. She made her decision.