30 days of No Contact log ( Think I can do it?)

[Whocares479]

I like listening to that song in situations like this lol

 

And irreplaceable? Hahahaha I am such a Beyonce fan. Or I like Somebody I used to know by Gotye. It's really good!

[Whocares479]

This, its ok to be sad, but don't suffer

 

Hey are you okay?

[boltnrun]

I like empowering songs like "Survivor" by Destiny's Child and "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson. And of course, that old, wonderful classic "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.

 

I listened to Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore" after my breakup. It helped me convince myself that I really didn't care. Now I don't have to convince myself because it's true.

 

As for cooking, today it's Italian. I can make Mexican food almost like your Mexican tia (working on it), but also make a killer meatloaf. I love fish and seafood too.

[Lonely Loner]

Hey are you okay?

 

Im fine thanks for asking, 26 days of no contact, i had minor set backs... Dropped a couple of tears reminiscing of what was but it was literally like 2 tears nothing like the first 2 weeks of no contact. I can see her with the other guy in my mind and feel ok about it, even the thought of them having sex because, hey its life, thats what people do so yea.. Im ok but i still refuse to contact her, i can't be friends, it just wouldn't be the same.

 

Im fine though, i haven't been saying much because i felt like i was the annoying guy nobody wants to hear from lol i don't like being a burden to people, sometimes i get like that and i just go off into isolation mode lol however I've been reading the stories and im glad you're still keeping no contact from that loser.. I still have dreams of my ex but, thats all they are.. Dreams.. Don't let dreams interfere with your progress.. Good luck

[Whocares479]

I like empowering songs like "Survivor" by Destiny's Child and "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson. And of course, that old, wonderful classic "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.

 

I listened to Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore" after my breakup. It helped me convince myself that I really didn't care. Now I don't have to convince myself because it's true.

 

As for cooking, today it's Italian. I can make Mexican food almost like your Mexican tia (working on it), but also make a killer meatloaf. I love fish and seafood too.

 

I love all those, I never heard the Phill Collins one. Imma check it out! Mexican food is my favorite!!!!!!! I love to cook mexican food, but my all time favorite is baking. It helps distract me from other things that aren't worth thinking about. Thank you so much for sharing!

[Whocares479]

Im fine thanks for asking, 26 days of no contact, i had minor set backs... Dropped a couple of tears reminiscing of what was but it was literally like 2 tears nothing like the first 2 weeks of no contact. I can see her with the other guy in my mind and feel ok about it, even the thought of them having sex because, hey its life, thats what people do so yea.. Im ok but i still refuse to contact her, i can't be friends, it just wouldn't be the same.

 

Im fine though, i haven't been saying much because i felt like i was the annoying guy nobody wants to hear from lol i don't like being a burden to people, sometimes i get like that and i just go off into isolation mode lol however I've been reading the stories and im glad you're still keeping no contact from that loser.. I still have dreams of my ex but, thats all they are.. Dreams.. Don't let dreams interfere with your progress.. Good luck

 

You are never a burden! Whenever you need to vent, I AM HERE. Never think otherwise. You have help me tremendously, I would be honored to have the opportunity to return the favor. Keep your head up, everything will be alight.

[Dominique]

Im fine thanks for asking, 26 days of no contact, i had minor set backs... Dropped a couple of tears reminiscing of what was but it was literally like 2 tears nothing like the first 2 weeks of no contact. I can see her with the other guy in my mind and feel ok about it, even the thought of them having sex because, hey its life, thats what people do so yea.. Im ok but i still refuse to contact her, i can't be friends, it just wouldn't be the same.

 

Im fine though, i haven't been saying much because i felt like i was the annoying guy nobody wants to hear from lol i don't like being a burden to people, sometimes i get like that and i just go off into isolation mode lol however I've been reading the stories and im glad you're still keeping no contact from that loser.. I still have dreams of my ex but, thats all they are.. Dreams.. Don't let dreams interfere with your progress.. Good luck

 

I am glad to hear you are doing well. Keep us posted. I like knowing how you are doing.

[Lonely Loner]

You are never a burden! Whenever you need to vent, I AM HERE. Never think otherwise. You have help me tremendously, I would be honored to have the opportunity to return the favor. Keep your head up, everything will be alight.

 

Awww you are too kind im glad you don't see me as a burden, and im happy i was able to help but i don't think i did much really, although i appreciate you for saying that. I will keep my head up and you do the same.. Thank you for the support, and if i have a issue i will let it be known i hope you are still doing ok, if you ever get the urge to text him just remember..

How it felt the last time you tried contacting him, dont forget that pain.. its not healthy to feel that way.

 

Ok Dominique i will try to keep posting and you do the same, i like hearing from you too. All of y'all you guys are the absolute best and i hope you all be well. I will be reading and cheering on yall progress.. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

 

We're all on heartbreak island lol im just that guy who keep to himself away from the group, listening to the stories. The lonely loner haha.. Staring at the sunset, sitting on the rocks.. Ill come over to the campfire and eat some marshmallows every now and then, and share stories but i love to see how stuff turn out from the sideline, i don't want the pressure of somebody relying on me, and i end up giving them bad advice or not being there i would hate myself for that.. So ill chill by the rocks haha

[1a1a]

Annia, have you found anything that makes sleep more appealing? Most recently I have been listening to (/doing) guided meditations. Before that I really enjoyed listening to music, quite quiet, I had PC speakers either side of my pillow so there was intense stereo imaging as well. And before that, ASMR videos (needed headphones for that). My pet rats chewed the head phones and PC speakers so haven't had access to either of those lately.

 

Welp. He stood me up. To be more detailed, he slept until we were meant to meet, sent me a text saying as much but it did not send. I waited at the trainstation for an hour and a half all up. I received the text about sleeping in and the text not sending at first after an hour. But he didn't say if he was still coming or not, I had to ask, and wait even longer for a response. When he said he had run out of time I felt hysterical, great heaving sobs, hard to breathe. Someone waiting the train even came over and asked if I was ok and offered to walk with me. Semi grounding but I felt like she wanted to get back to waiting for her ride home so I let her go. I was still extremely upset though. Ended up driving to his house. 20 minutes into the trip he replies to my message saying as much with "No, I'm already at band practice, we can do this tomorrow" *head desk*. How ing bad at communication can one person be?!

 

I hazarded a guess at which rehearsal room he would be at and nailed it. Walk in, he's the only one there!! Not like being face to face was going to make any difference to how comprehensively he has nothing to give me but I was overflowing with feeeeelings. Face to face I got the answer "doesn't want to date". Which I knew. But still. ! Communicating that by standing me up is ing harsh.

 

So, I'm all in now, no contact outside of work for the immediate future, I have to forget I ever loved that guy.

[hrb23]

You do belong on here. Sorry if I was rude. However, you need to listen. We are trying to help you.

 

unfortunately I don't feel I can be honest with you guys anymore because of how I will be judged. I'm sick of frustrating and annoying people now. There's been so much happened in the last few days. Hope you all are well.

[Whocares479]

Annia, have you found anything that makes sleep more appealing? Most recently I have been listening to (/doing) guided meditations. Before that I really enjoyed listening to music, quite quiet, I had PC speakers either side of my pillow so there was intense stereo imaging as well. And before that, ASMR videos (needed headphones for that). My pet rats chewed the head phones and PC speakers so haven't had access to either of those lately.

 

Welp. He stood me up. To be more detailed, he slept until we were meant to meet, sent me a text saying as much but it did not send. I waited at the trainstation for an hour and a half all up. I received the text about sleeping in and the text not sending at first after an hour. But he didn't say if he was still coming or not, I had to ask, and wait even longer for a response. When he said he had run out of time I felt hysterical, great heaving sobs, hard to breathe. Someone waiting the train even came over and asked if I was ok and offered to walk with me. Semi grounding but I felt like she wanted to get back to waiting for her ride home so I let her go. I was still extremely upset though. Ended up driving to his house. 20 minutes into the trip he replies to my message saying as much with "No, I'm already at band practice, we can do this tomorrow" *head desk*. How ing bad at communication can one person be?!

 

I hazarded a guess at which rehearsal room he would be at and nailed it. Walk in, he's the only one there!! Not like being face to face was going to make any difference to how comprehensively he has nothing to give me but I was overflowing with feeeeelings. Face to face I got the answer "doesn't want to date". Which I knew. But still. ! Communicating that by standing me up is ing harsh.

 

So, I'm all in now, no contact outside of work for the immediate future, I have to forget I ever loved that guy.

 

Good gosh I am so sorry this happened to you. I know all about being stood up. My ex would stand me up ALL the time. Everytime he stood me up I would go NC then break it. He stood me up on Valentines day and his birthday. I remember one time I purchased an hotel that was unrefundable, he stood me up and I lost my money! Then he asked ME for money shortly after that. Thinking back on it I hate him. A guy who stands you up, especially for a dumb reason is clearly not interested and does not value your time. Yes! Go NC it's for the better. Next time don't pursue him, just ignore that bull crap of an excuse message and keep it pushing. Hopefully, you won't let it be a next time.

[Whocares479]

unfortunately I don't feel I can be honest with you guys anymore because of how I will be judged. I'm sick of frustrating and annoying people now. There's been so much happened in the last few days. Hope you all are well.

 

You can be honest, however, you repeatedly ask for advice you know you won't take. That's why everyone is fustrated. I can't make you come back, I just want you to know you are welcomed. I am okay.

[1a1a]

An acquaintance said "he's entitled to not want to date you but he went about that with maximal hurtfulness". They are right, you are right, and the same is true for your ex *glares hard enough to melt steel beams*. Next time someone jerks either of us around like that, may we have the conviction to jump on our nopetopuses and ride them to nope town.

 

I don't think there will be a next time. And he's not really the kind of person who will make me play emotional whack a mole. (And I asked him to divert all work communication through email for now, no more getting bloody messages and wondering and hoping they mean something at all).

 

Mostly distracted by WestWorld (has anyone else seen that? ) but then anxious thoughts about being left creep in. But then they are followed by a thought along the lines of "look how terribly he handled this. This is how terribly he handles awkward, if it hadn't happened now, it would have happened later and you would have been more invested and even more hurt". Then I just feel anxious about being alone, logistics really, where am I going to get physical and emotional intimacy? Same bridge every single person has to cross. Reassuring to know I'm not crossing it alone, I hope we all find fulfilling and affectionate connections in geographical proximity to us.

[Dominique]

unfortunately I don't feel I can be honest with you guys anymore because of how I will be judged. I'm sick of frustrating and annoying people now. There's been so much happened in the last few days. Hope you all are well.

 

i'm here. if you need to talk...pm me. i will always listen.

[hrb23]

i'm here. if you need to talk...pm me. i will always listen.

 

thank u that's very nice of you x

[Annia]

Annia, have you found anything that makes sleep more appealing? Most recently I have been listening to (/doing) guided meditations. Before that I really enjoyed listening to music, quite quiet, I had PC speakers either side of my pillow so there was intense stereo imaging as well. And before that, ASMR videos (needed headphones for that). My pet rats chewed the head phones and PC speakers so haven't had access to either of those lately.

 

Welp. He stood me up. To be more detailed, he slept until we were meant to meet, sent me a text saying as much but it did not send. I waited at the trainstation for an hour and a half all up. I received the text about sleeping in and the text not sending at first after an hour. But he didn't say if he was still coming or not, I had to ask, and wait even longer for a response. When he said he had run out of time I felt hysterical, great heaving sobs, hard to breathe. Someone waiting the train even came over and asked if I was ok and offered to walk with me. Semi grounding but I felt like she wanted to get back to waiting for her ride home so I let her go. I was still extremely upset though. Ended up driving to his house. 20 minutes into the trip he replies to my message saying as much with "No, I'm already at band practice, we can do this tomorrow" *head desk*. How ing bad at communication can one person be?!

 

I hazarded a guess at which rehearsal room he would be at and nailed it. Walk in, he's the only one there!! Not like being face to face was going to make any difference to how comprehensively he has nothing to give me but I was overflowing with feeeeelings. Face to face I got the answer "doesn't want to date". Which I knew. But still. ! Communicating that by standing me up is ing harsh.

 

So, I'm all in now, no contact outside of work for the immediate future, I have to forget I ever loved that guy.

 

What's that ASRM thing? Does it help?

 

I listened to some "letting go" meditation/ sleeping hypnosis youtube things when I was at my worst and I confess that I usually fell asleep before the ending. But I'm usually night owl, so it's hard for me to sleep early but I'm trying.

 

Oh what a disrespectful thing for him to do! I can imagine why you felt so upset! I hope you can use it as one more nail to the coffin. I know it's hard not to have the closure you wanted, but maybe this is a strong indicator that it's not worth it to try seeking it from him.

[Annia]

I like empowering songs like "Survivor" by Destiny's Child and "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson. And of course, that old, wonderful classic "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.

 

I listened to Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore" after my breakup. It helped me convince myself that I really didn't care. Now I don't have to convince myself because it's true.

 

As for cooking, today it's Italian. I can make Mexican food almost like your Mexican tia (working on it), but also make a killer meatloaf. I love fish and seafood too.

 

I didn't know that Phil Collins' song but I also like his cover of "You can't hurry love". It gives me hope and makes me feel better.

[Annia]

X called yesterday afternoon while I was trying to nap. I picked up bc I was half asleep and didn't recognize the number (I had deleted in my phone.)

 

She was asking me why I blocked her and if she could say bye. She was asking why we couldn't be friends and I told her it's bc I'm still in love and could never be happy as her friend especially with the bf around.

 

She burst into tears. She was telling me how she wishes she had of met me before she met her X bc we would have never had trust issues and we would have been together forever (LOL you left me for someone else that wasn't even your X.......)

 

Then she told me she was still in love with me and no relationship would ever be like ours whatever ours is.

 

I told her nothing had changed and that I wouldn't be friends and could not talk to her anymore as long as nothing had changed (which it hasn't.)

 

She also told me her aunt was sick (like really sick) and in hospital. Now I feel like a monster for not being there.

 

Yikes...

 

In other news I played last night and we tied 1-1, I scored the goal! It took my mind off of it a bit! Now I'm back to that morning slump. I guess it was a bit of an ego boost that she would say all of that even if it is BS. Her need to call me said a lot. I'll be starting NC again today. It sucks because she said a lot of things last night that made me really sad and really miss us. I want her back. But it's not my choice and it's a choice she will never make.

 

She was trying to keep you on hold as soon as she saw she was "losing you" because you blocked her and stopped contact. If she was respectful and really wanted you to move on and be happy she wouldn't say those things about loving you and all that while choosing to be with her current boyfriend. The aunt reference also seems manipulative to me.

 

This is why NC is detrimental to healing, because some people while they don't want us they suck as in with their need for ego boosts and then we're back on square one wishing we had never reopened contact.

[hrb23]

She was trying to keep you on hold as soon as she saw she was "losing you" because you blocked her and stopped contact. If she was respectful and really wanted you to move on and be happy she wouldn't say those things about loving you and all that while choosing to be with her current boyfriend. The aunt reference also seems manipulative to me.

 

This is why NC is detrimental to healing, because some people while they don't want us they suck as in with their need for ego boosts and then we're back on square one wishing we had never reopened contact.

 

On Friday night we slept together again (I know.)

 

On Saturday night I didn't reply to her all day and she was texting me relentlessly. She ended the mass of texts with a f u.

 

On Sunday morning she called three times and I finally text her "I can't talk right now but I promise I will call you later."

 

I did but she was in work. I then proceeded to ignore her again before she sent me this.

 

"If you don't reply you aren't going to like what happens."

 

I dread to even think what that means. I didn't want to find out so we have been talking ever since.

[Whocares479]

Awww you are too kind im glad you don't see me as a burden, and im happy i was able to help but i don't think i did much really, although i appreciate you for saying that. I will keep my head up and you do the same.. Thank you for the support, and if i have a issue i will let it be known i hope you are still doing ok, if you ever get the urge to text him just remember..

How it felt the last time you tried contacting him, dont forget that pain.. its not healthy to feel that way.

 

Ok Dominique i will try to keep posting and you do the same, i like hearing from you too. All of y'all you guys are the absolute best and i hope you all be well. I will be reading and cheering on yall progress.. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

 

We're all on heartbreak island lol im just that guy who keep to himself away from the group, listening to the stories. The lonely loner haha.. Staring at the sunset, sitting on the rocks.. Ill come over to the campfire and eat some marshmallows every now and then, and share stories but i love to see how stuff turn out from the sideline, i don't want the pressure of somebody relying on me, and i end up giving them bad advice or not being there i would hate myself for that.. So ill chill by the rocks haha

 

Well be prepared for me to sometimes come over by the rocks with you and check up on you! Lol Im trying to get into the anologies and I suck at it. You and 1a1a are the best at it.

[Whocares479]

Day 16...its weird because I have NO urge to message him.

[Dominique]

Day 16...its weird because I have NO urge to message him.

 

That is a good moment to revel in. Good for you. 😊

[Whocares479]

That is a good moment to revel in. Good for you. 😊

 

It's weird because I would think that a year would take a lot longer to get over. Thank you so much, are you feeling better hun?

[hrb23]

Day 16...its weird because I have NO urge to message him.

You rock man

[Whocares479]

You rock man

 

Thanks!!!!