afisher Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 My girlfriend and I have been together one year and last week we broke up. The fundamental reason was the incompatibility of our wants and needs. I wanted/needed more from her than she was willing to give. It had been brewing for a while but then became an issue we couldn't compromise on so we split. We haven't seen each other in 2 weeks and have only exchanged brief messages to arrange transferring some money she owed me. I am pretty down about this. Then, yesterday was my birthday and at 10:30pm she messaged me with birthday wishes, apologising that she nearly forgot. We had a brief 10 min message exchange, just catching up on what she'd been up to the last couple of days. Then, at the end of the message she invited me to meet her tomorrow afternoon with some mutual friends. She caveated it with saying she'd understand if it was too uncomfortable for me (I said last week that it would be too painful to see her right now when we talked about her getting the money to me she owed). But she did say it would be nice to see me. What shall I do? So, I could say no and not go. It would simply be too painful to see her just as a friend right now, not being able to be close to her, touch her, knowing she is free to see other guys. If I said no then it's highly likely that would be it. I wouldn't see her again. She reached out, I said no, so she'll not bother again and the onus will be on me to reach out in the future if we are to meet again. Or, I go. Manage my expectations of what I'll get out of it. Turn up, be chilled out, happy, look like I'm getting on with my life. Spend time with her and everyone but know when to leave and not hang around in the hope that we might hang out together afterwards. Basically, show her the best of me in the hope she misses me. Then see how that affects her. I know she is free later tomorrow evening and all day Monday. Maybe she'll follow up. If so, great. If not, then for her it genuinely was because it was nice to see me as a friend but she's moved on. In which case, I pat myself on the back for trying, but move on myself. She complained before that it all got too intense and that she wanted space and independence. Could it be that after two weeks of no contact at all (after a year of daily contact, either physical or calls/texts), she misses me and now wants to reach out again and see what happens? Help! What should I do? Alex Link to comment
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