She's concerned that I don't drive but really likes me, what to do now?

[fmfan08]

Sorry for the mini essay!

 

So I met this great girl a couple of weeks ago on POF. She refers to herself as nerdy and likes gaming, etc, we share a lot in common. She also acts very suggestive, makes a lot of sexual jokes and teases me a lot/plays hard to get. We live 20 miles apart, opposite ends of the city.

 

The first date involved her hugging me, holding hands, playing footsy, touching her hair, reaching into my back pocket and physical contact. We had fun and kissed, the night ended. The sexual chemistry we had was electric.

 

The second date was a week and a half later because of being busy at work. We met in the city centre this time, but she took the train instead of the car because she hates driving/parking within the city. The same signs happen and she gets even closer. As we're outside the station, she's playing with my coat, we're holding hands, kissing, etc.

 

Later on i text her saying I had fun, hope she got back safe, etc and she says "Yeah I had a lovely time

 

The day after I initiate contact and ask if she's free the following Monday but she tells me she can't as she's working. So I ask when she's next free? She took a day to respond, so I phoned and sent a second text saying the plans we could have. She texts later apologising about the missed phone call as she was out all day with her mum on Mothers day, then says she's working a lot and any day free she has dedicated to her family as they're off.

 

I assumed this was an excuse, so I told her okay fair enough that she can tell me if she doesn't want to pursue things, I'd understand.

 

We start sending about one text a day to each other this week, she takes longer to reply. She tells me she's struggling to understand why I can't drive, so I mention I've done my lessons but need to pass my test and get a car and ask if that's a deal breaker for her? She says "It just makes it difficult. I'm spending too much on trains at the moment and it is a little bit of a deal breaker which is annoying cause I really like you".

 

I text her that I don't mind taking the train/bus to her area a lot (20 miles distance) as I'd like to continue seeing her. And that she can drive down the motorway to my area too. I get no response.

 

A day later I decide to not act bothered and text if she's up for doing something in her area. I get no response again.

 

Another day passes so I decide to send her a message on POF instead, saying that I'll respect her silence and that I had fun meeting up, but I couldn't understand you saying you really liked me then disappearing. I tell her that I assume she's met someone new but as long as she's happy then that's good with me. I end the message wishing her luck and that I didn't regret meeting her but I would be looking elsewhere now.

 

Two hours pass and I get a phone call from her whilst she's at work. She sounded a little nervous/upset, her voice seemed down. She told me she read my message on POF and told me she hadn't met someone else, but explained the driving situation and that a lot of the time she prefers to chill at her place instead of following a strict schedule like dinner, bowling, etc. I explained I was happy enough to get the train and a taxi to her place and asked her to be patient until I get a car, that we could meet up outside of the city too instead.

 

She then told me she really wants us to work out, it's just the driving and the problem of having to drive 30 mins to pick me up then drive back. I told her I'd do all the travelling myself. She seemed agreeable once I talked it through.

 

Then she said in a slowish tone, "You make me happy". She said she had to get back to work and would think on it, then would text me when she finishes at 7:30pm to let me know what she decided.

 

It's early next morning and I didn't get that text. Noticed she was online on POF too, but the online status can be dodgy if you have the app installed.

 

Should I wait for her to get back in touch with her decision or should I wait until Sunday night and call her? It's rare I find a girl who I click with and have the same interests, but she seems to play hard to get a lot too.

[Capttrae]

So why haven't you already got done with the driving test? Guess I'm having a hard time figuring that out. How old are you?

[lostlove76]

It seems like you're doing a lot of chasing, calling, texting, and sending more messages when she didn't reply. Meanwhile, she's being very reluctant and making excuses and you're having to drag things out of her. Is she really worth all this? I would suggest scaling it way back, or better yet, just being done. I can understand the driving thing being a big obstacle. I myself hate to drive, so I don't think things would work for me with a guy who didn't have a liscense or a car. You've offered to make your way to her side of town, but she didn't jump in and take you up on that. It sounds like she's stringing you along while remaining reluctant. I'm sorry. I would find someone else with whom it's not such a major effort.

[jujusamples]

You are chasing too much and she's pulling away. She seems to be playing some mind games with you. She really should have left it and not call you after reading your message. She's just trying to confuse you!

 

I know it's hard, but it's not going to end well playing this push and pull game. I say it's still early on, cut your losses and move on to someone whom can accept you for who you are. If this driving thing is this big of a deal for her, could you imagine if you get into a relationship with her and things gets more serious, what else will bother her? (I'm assuming since you said you are getting your license and car soon) I mean you are already compromising with her by saying you'll do all the travelling but it still bother's her. I'm not understanding her. You could continue on chasing her, but it seems like you will be heading for a one-sided relationship with a high maintenance girl.

[Clio]

Don't call her. If she doesn't contact you as she said, that's your answer. No point in being pushy. You have clearly shown your interest. If she doesn't reciprocate after all this, then it's not healthy.

[JaggerJim]

You are chasing too much and she's pulling away. She seems to be playing some mind games with you. She really should have left it and not call you after reading your message. She's just trying to confuse you!

 

I know it's hard, but it's not going to end well playing this push and pull game. I say it's still early on, cut your losses and move on to someone whom can accept you for who you are. If this driving thing is this big of a deal for her, could you imagine if you get into a relationship with her and things gets more serious, what else will bother her? (I'm assuming since you said you are getting your license and car soon) I mean you are already compromising with her by saying you'll do all the travelling but it still bother's her. I'm not understanding her. You could continue on chasing her, but it seems like you will be heading for a one-sided relationship with a high maintenance girl.

 

Ok so you don't drive, but one day she'll be kicking herself that she met this great guy and she let him go because of that. If only people can see it's all about the romance, and not the obstacles. Sheesh!

[SherrySher]

Stop chasing her, she is making excuses.

You have told her so many times that you will do the travelling and it's still not good enough for her. If she truly liked you a lot..the travelling wouldn't even be a problem.

 

Many couples are far more long distance and they still want each other and manage no matter what it takes.

 

But this girl is being wishy washy and has a problem with the travelling? Seriously...take the hint and stop chasing her. If you were all she really wanted, she'd had no issues with the travelling and would be more than happy to do what it takes to be with you.

She's not into you.

[Wiseman2]

She's multidating. She's dating guys with cars, she's dating guys who do Netflix and chill early on, etc. And she's complaining.

 

Just go no contact and stop bending over backwards. Stop messaging her on dating sites or at all. Delete her number.

[Careerchoice]

It sounds like you are completely invested in someone who is on the fence about you. Doesn't that feel off to you?