ChellyV Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I have sporadic text exchange with someone I really like, and I think he does like me back. Sometimes serious matters, sometimes simply flirting. I did the stupid mistake of admitting that I liked him, and he began acting more sweet and consistent. However, it has been 4 long months of constantly just texting and I am getting to a point where, where is this going? Can I ask him this point blank? I know, of course I can at the risk of losing it all, but I would rather lose it all, than lose each day of my life hoping. We are in our late 40's, so this type of problem should only occur to younger people. I guess I no longer have the patience. LOL. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 No, I would not ask "where is this going". I would simply ask him out to something very datey, or if you are not comfortable with that, green light him - suggest things that you like to do and that you are free friday night. If he declines, except in the case of a counteroffer of a different day, I would stop the communication with him. You don't have time for this. Meet over cofffee or dinner to talk - stop with the texting already Link to comment
Raggie Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Hello! Rather than asking where it's going, I might just ask him out on a date. You have nothing to lose. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Why haven't you gotten together and hung out? What is with this texting? Link to comment
ChellyV Posted March 20, 2017 Author Share Posted March 20, 2017 Hollyj, he is my boss. I know, I know, I know. Want to kick myself. I guess I should have mentioned that in the earlier post. I have asked to take him to dinner on his birthday, he did say raincheck, then nothing after that. I am quite done at this point, then when the sun magically shines after the rain, so does he. See this roller coaster? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Hollyj, he is my boss. I know, I know, I know. Want to kick myself. I guess I should have mentioned that in the earlier post. I have asked to take him to dinner on his birthday, he did say raincheck, then nothing after that. I am quite done at this point, then when the sun magically shines after the rain, so does he. See this roller coaster? Ok. then he isn't interested - he is getting an ego trip by the fact that you like him. He may like you and its just not appropriate because he's your boss - or is just enjoying it. Taking someone out for a birthday is pretty innocuous and treating your boss to lunch for his birthday won't get tongues wagging so him declining I think means that he doesn't want to lead you on. I think given that fact, you will embarrass yourself if you ask where this is going. Honestly, I would stop texting him about anything other than work related things. be too busy. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Hollyj, he is my boss. I know, I know, I know. Want to kick myself. I guess I should have mentioned that in the earlier post. I have asked to take him to dinner on his birthday, he did say raincheck, then nothing after that. I am quite done at this point, then when the sun magically shines after the rain, so does he. See this roller coaster? You shouldn't touch this, due to the fact that he is your boss. Sorry, but I think he likes the attention, but isn't interested. I would move on from this. Do not ask "where is this is going?" Link to comment
ChellyV Posted March 20, 2017 Author Share Posted March 20, 2017 Thank you abitbroken and hollyj, I kind of knew but needed validation. Lost there for a bit. Wish me luck, he is still a bit of a distraction at work, but it is do-able and definitely achieve-able! I can do it! Link to comment
Jibralta Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I would opt for Plan C: Find Another Love Interest. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 Sorry, it sounds like he wasn't interested. Link to comment
jujusamples Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I think he just like a texting partner. If he was interested in dating you, he would have asked you a long time ago. No, there is no point in asking where is this going in your situation. I could understand if you two have been dating for 4 months and is not official, than that's okay to ask where is this going. Just texting, no dates, no nothing, it's silly to ask where is this going. Sorry to tell you, but it's going nowhere you probably hope it would. Probably just friend zone. Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I'd burn any thoughts of a romantic relationship with a boss. I toyed with this idea once myself and I'm very glad that I never went through with it. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 It sounds like he likes to be friendly, flirt etc. but doesn't want to cross any lines and set him self up for a sexual harassment case. He's smart not to date at work and deflect the invitation. It's pretty clear that this is it and you can't really have a relationship talk with someone you are not in a relationship with no less never dated. That would be very awkward. It's ok to have a work crush but he's doing the right thing by not acting on anything. he is my boss. I have asked to take him to dinner on his birthday, he did say raincheck, then nothing after that. I am quite done at this point, then when the sun magically shines after the rain, so does he. See this roller coaster? Link to comment
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