QueenTati Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Hello... So I met a guy that I really enjoy being around he is funny, exciting, and basically knows how to seduce a woman with his words. He seems like a great guy but I'm having some trouble. I haven't had sex in almost two years and I'm so ready for that type of interaction. He knows that because at first he was just a friend and I was telling him about a terrible sexual encounter I had but I don't really think I could even call it that. And he was basically saying how it was wrong and that no guy should ever keep a woman hanging like that. So One night we got a little hot and heavy. He played with my breast and I gave him a blow job and he was very interested in hanging out again at least that's what he said after our play time. But now we have both not had the time to get together but he isn't really responding the way I would like him to. For example when I text him (which is rare) he's very short about things and when we are around each other it's hot and cold. I'm really confused because I haven't given him the grand finale but it seems like he doesn't even want it. I'm the type that doesn't like to feel undesired and I very much do feel undesired now. I had to even ask him if we were still planning to engage with each other he said yeah when we are both free but I don't feel like I should be the one initiating this. What can I do to make this guy take the reins? Does he even still like me or want me and if not how do I regain his interest? Should I slow down and how can I after going so fast to begin with? Should I let this go and continue to be a no penis having woman? 😐😓😵😥 P.S. I just want to be desired, admired, and feel like a woman. To be honest I want a relationship with an amazing friendship attached to it. How do I make that possible with this guy or another one if I decide to let him go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 How long have you been dating? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujusamples Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 I'm assuming you and this guy have not been together for long? In fact you are still in the "hanging out stage?" At this point, I'm not sure what to tell you other than to talk to him. Just be straight up with him and ask him, what's going on? At the same time, this can ping pong back and forth, he could be thinking the same thing as you. I say it's best to cut the chase and just talk to him. Tell him how you are feeling and if he's not interested anymore, to let you know. That way, you could move on and not wonder. No one could tell you what he's thinking or what's going on other than the guy you are dating. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clio Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Sounds like you need to disentangle your priorities. If you want "a relationship with an amazing friendship attached to it", then you need to refrain from moving on too quick. If you want just sex or fwb, then moving too quick is OK. But then you need to refrain from becoming emotionally attached. You need to decide on your priorities and act accordingly. It sounds like you don't really know this guy. At this point, he doesn't sound like a great guy. His actions show that he is not interested/ he is just not that into you (read the book if you ever get the chance). Imo, the best thing to do at this point would be to back way off and give it some time to see what he does. Stop initiating contact with him. Let him do all the initiating. If he is interested, he will come to you. If not, you have your answer and you need to move on. You have showed him your interest. If he doesn't return it, then that's your answer. However, it sounds like he is not interested in more than a occasional sexual encounters with you. Which brings us back to you wanting "a relationship with an amazing friendship attached to it". If you really want this, then sorry to say that this guy doesn't sound like a good candidate. As mentioned by the previous post, honest communication is key. If you decide to pursue him further, then you need to ask for a clear answer. P.S. You also need to let go of the notion that you control the behaviour of other people. If they want a relationship with you, the will be receptive, if they don't they will be wishy washy. It's a matter of finding a guy who wants the same things as you on their own free will, NOT "making" a guy wanting the same things as you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Even Barnum and Bailey closed maybe he's not interested in this Grande finale. Sex is a small part of a relationship. Look at his actions (interest) plus everyone doesn't act how we think they should. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Unfortunately hookups and casual sex may not make you feel the way you want. It's fine to do that but it seems you want dating/relationships? Giving bj's won't give you the admiration or validation you seem to be looking for. Try getting rid of this fwb and get on some dating apps and start to look for a dating/relationship situation. I haven't had sex in almost two years and I'm so ready for that type of interaction. He knows that. He played with my breast and I gave him a blow job and he was very interested in hanging out again at least that's what he said after our play time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 You're the type that doesn't like to feel "undesired"... I don't know anyone that enjoys rejection. Are you saying this feeling is stronger than it is for most people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 If this guy hasn't even asked you out on a date, a real one, then no he's not interested. He got a bit of sexual activity and that was all he wanted and that's all he's interested in, whenever he gets around to it. I don't see any relationship potential here at all. I see a man pulling back to clearly send the message, "This is not a relationship." If they don't ask you out, it's not going to go anywhere, because hanging out and sex of any sort without that are just that - it's two people who are just blowing off some steam. Not the basis for a relationship. Ditch this guy's number and focus on finding and dating people who will ask you out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Hello... What can I do to make this guy take the reins? Does he even still like me or want me and if not how do I regain his interest? Should I slow down and how can I after going so fast to begin with? Should I let this go and continue to be a no penis having woman? 😐😓😵😥 P.S. I just want to be desired, admired, and feel like a woman. To be honest I want a relationship with an amazing friendship attached to it. How do I make that possible with this guy or another one if I decide to let him go? If he's not initiating then he's not interested. You've pretty much told him in no uncertain terms that he can have you, but he isn't taking you up on it. There is nothing you can do to make someone feel something they don't. You just be the best person you can be and they either stay or pass. You mention you want a relationship? If it's a serious relationship this isn't the best way to go about it. If you want a fwb then you shouldn't have too much trouble finding a willing participant if you keep this up. Not every man will take a woman up on a fwb arrangement, bytheway. It may not be his thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Soo confused.....is he a friend or is he someone you are dating????? Look...... If you want to date and get into a serious relationship, then don't play friendzies, but actually date him. Dating and friendship are not mutually exclusive and are not one before the other, they develop simultaneously. Don't talk about sleeping with some other guy or whatever it was with a guy you actually want to sleep with. That's just inappropriate TMI and liable to backfire on you 9 times out of 10. If you are dating, make sure it's clear and he is taking you out on actual dates. Be clear about what you want, what you are looking for and know how you want to be treated. If he isn't treating you the way you want, you walk away. If you want to get laid....why are you giving him a bj????? Like....how is that going to work out for you? Finally, as unpopular as this is, unfortunately many many guys will totally judge you for being easy and they are total hypocrites about it. Meaning that they'll enjoy what you are offering and then instantly judge you as not relationship material while totally ignoring the fact that they participated too, thus the hypocrite part. Anyway, with this guy in particular, I agree with everyone else that you need to talk and clear the air. If you two were just friends and then you ended up giving him a bj, he might well be a bit confused and feeling awkward about things. Talk to him and let him know clearly where you stand and what you actually want from him. Funny thing with the male mind is that you are totally straight with them they can't help but be straight back at you, even if it's something you don't want to hear. The nice part is that at least you know what's what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky09 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 If you want to bang it out, just bang it out. I'm sure he won't turn that down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.