My co-worker was pushing invitations to her church, was my response rude?

[notalady]

Do it. It creates a hostile discriminatory work environment. People go to work to make a living not be harassed buy these type of people. If they want to recruit people they shouldn't be doing it on company time.

 

Yes it should've been reported to HR long ago, they can and should deal with inappropriate behaviours like this.

[nutbrownhare]

I'm religious; I don't force it down people's throats and find it irritating when other people try force their views on me (including a friend who used to send me literature from the Secular Society, and a bunch of women in Alanon who were really insistent that I DIDN'T need to believe in the divine to be able to work the program). I tell religious evangelicals that I belong to a church "but it's not your church", and atheist evangelicals that it's a matter of personal conviction.

 

Describing herself as a 'good friend' as a justification for her own underhand agenda is hypocritical.Telling you not to disappoint God is manipulative.

 

I can see that your response to being dragged along to church could have been gentler; however, this woman's approach had been so thick-skinned until that point that it would probably have needed something that blunt for her to get the message.

 

Hopefully, she will take on board the need for forgiveness and all will be fine in the workplace.

[annie24]

I think this is a big reason why many workplaces don't want you discussing religion at work. It makes many people feel uncomfortable and you don't need that while you're at work.

[JaggerJim]

I think this is a big reason why many workplaces don't want you discussing religion at work. It makes many people feel uncomfortable and you don't need that while you're at work.

 

Agree. Your work place should be a safe environment.

[j.man]

Proselytizing is a form of solicitation. Considering the subject matter, it's incredibly likely she'd get reprimanded. That is unless she's doing all of this outside the workplace or during her work hours.

 

Not that you should run to HR the first time someone invites you to church or tries to get you to listen to their sales pitch (though you could). A polite and straight forward no like DF suggested should be plenty. After that, if they persist, you could let them know the next time they ask or bring it up, you'll be reporting it... or just go ahead anyway. Personally, I prefer not to go above a personal level unless necessary.

 

But I have to admit, I've never hard of multiple people pushing the envelope like this at work. I did have one exceptionally forthcoming religious coworker, but she was a sweet older lady who lost her 20-something year old son. It was obvious she'd go on about it as a coping mechanism, so it never bothered me. Other than that, though, the level of solicitation going on at your work is pretty shocking. That might very well be a product of the environment instead of a couple bad eggs. I'd be looking elsewhere for work.

[ParisPaulette]

No, you are not the rude one. She is. You handled it very well and weren't rude at all. I'd have been rude to her in a very clear way, I admire your restraint. I mean, you could have been a little more restrained, but really. She is so very lucky you were nice at all.

 

It's never acceptable to shove your ideology or ideas or "you gotta do this" at someone who is a friend. Don't care if it's religion or nont religion or politics or Amway or how many times you water your flowers or something else, badgering and belittling someone to try and control what they do, excessive pushing at someone who clearly doesn't want to do it, is not acceptable.

 

She's a grown adult. She knows this. And no, don't care how much it's for her idea of perceived "good." Extremism in any form is bad. She was so far out of line, it's not even funny. This is really about controlling you, not being a friend at all.

 

Drop this friend and drop any contact with her outside of work. She was horribly disrespectful, pushy, and using something "good" as an excuse for her behaviors is absolutely rotten to do. I think you handled it great, I'd have been and said far, far worse to her I'm afraid. I don't suffer pushy people very well.

 

Just ignore her and move on. And yes, go to HR and tell them what she's been doing and that it's creating an uncomfortable work environment. If the company is at all decent they will have strict policies of the "you are not to push your outside agendas at work, period."

 

Bonus, now she'll hopefully leave you alone about the church thing, so it's handled and done from this point forward. In the future a simple, "I am not interested, I do not want to hear about this," and holding firm to your boundaries is the way to handle people who want to push their agendas on you.

[catfeeder]

I'd have shut this down on day 1. I respond to the first inkling of pressure from anyone that I won't discuss religion or politics in the workplace, but we can discuss any ways that I can help her or him with work.

 

...and that would be that. Rinse repeat as necessary, and if she became a bully about it I'd give her a fair warning that I'd appreciate no need to make this an issue with HR.

 

And who cares whether she 'likes' that, or me, for that matter? Either we can work together in harmony, or we can't--and if not, I'd take her down without qualms.