Missy14 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Hi! I don't know who to talk to regarding my problem. I just found out my bf of 5 years has been living with someone and I might be the other woman (I think they are engaged). We used to live 10 miles away from each other but he moved out of state 2 years ago for a better job so our relationship has been a long distance one, but we managed to visit each other every chance we can. We talked to each other everyday through Skype or face time and he was always available and attentive whenever I call him so I never suspected something was amiss. I discovered his deception through social media and I told him about it. Here's where I'm clueless on what to do next. This is stupid of me, please don't judge me, but I sent him naked pictures of me (topless, nothing below the waist). I trusted this person. He threatened to post my naked pics if I contacted the other woman and tell her about me and our relationship. This has brought me a lot of emotional distress. I was lied to, betrayed, cheated on and now being blackmailed but I can't do anything about it. He said if I cause sh*t in his life, he would go on his threat and he'll make sure to destroy my life. I don't know what to do. This is not the man I love. I feel so low and so disposable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaird Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 It's not your job to tell the other woman about his cheating. Just cut off contact with him and start the process of healing. He sounds like a real douche bag. I'm sorry you were so deceived for so long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broomwood Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Oh my Gosh, this is unbelievable! Really feel for you. I agree with the other poster, it is not your job to tell the other woman. However, I would think of every way to get even with this crook without him knowing that I'm planning something. I'd see how I could compromise him at his work or uni. If nothing can be done, oh well, than so be it. But healing should be easy, I would think. Anger is a positive emotion that will give you lots of energy and power in the short term. I would think how I can be wiser next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 Thank you for replying. He blocked me in everything so he was the one who cut off contact. I just feel so powerless right now. I'm also afraid that if he decided to cause chaos in my life in the future that he would always use that naked pictures against me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 You mind your own business and don't tell her anything. Stay as far away of both of them as possible, and don't worry, if she doesn't already know what a cheat he is she will eventually see his true colors without your help, these things don't stay hidden forever. Your job is to see that you are ok, and out of harm's way. Thank your lucky stars you're not in her shoes, and wipe the memory of him from your brain as best you can, because the jerk is not worth your tears and anger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 He doesn't want to do anything with me after I discovered his deceptions. He blocked me in everything. It's like I never existed. He didn't apologize to me. Nothing. I feel like he got away scot-free. There should be consequences when you wronged someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 He doesn't want to do anything with me after I discovered his deceptions. He blocked me in everything. It's like I never existed. He didn't apologize to me. Nothing. I feel like he got away scot-free. There should be consequences when you wronged someone. There will be consequences, don't worry! They may not happen now, and you may not know about them, but he can't hide his weasel ways forever! He won't apologize because he is now scared of you ruining his main relationship. He won't cause any trouble for you down the road, because then he would have to explain how come he knows you and is in possession of those pics. The only way I think he would retaliate is if you do something to jeopardize his relationship, since at that point he would have nothing to lose. As long as he has something to lose, you have nothing to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyden Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 He doesn't want to do anything with me after I discovered his deceptions. He blocked me in everything. It's like I never existed. He didn't apologize to me. Nothing. I feel like he got away scot-free. There should be consequences when you wronged someone. Sadly, thats not the way the world works. Not everything is fair, most horrible people and/or criminals go unpunished. It is a harsh reality. Now that being said, contact the police. Depending on where you live, he could face criminal charges by threating/blackmailing to post the pictures. I am assuming these threats were made via Facebook or text. Save those communications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 It would be best not to seek justice or revenge or explanations. He's a player dirtball. Sorry this happened to you. As you say he has these nude photos and they could go viral in a nanosecond if you bother with him. Stay zero contact and be sure to delete and block him from everything.He doesn't want to do anything with me after I discovered his deceptions. He blocked me in everything. It's like I never existed. He didn't apologize to me. Nothing. I feel like he got away scot-free. There should be consequences when you wronged someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 I'm still in a state of shock. You think you know someone but you really don't. I can't trust anyone anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 I would contact the other woman anyways. It would be worth it to publicize my boobs in order to ruin his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 I would contact the other woman anyways. It would be worth it to publicize my boobs in order to ruin his life. How would I approach her if I decided to contact her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeautifulMask Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Honestly, you should just bite the bullet and let it go. Regardless of whether or not you care if your boobs become exposed to the public eye, doesn't make revenge acceptable. This cheater will get his when the other women finds out some other way. Why go to the trouble of ruining some other womens life, because that man hurt you? She has the right to find this out on her own. The betrayal and all years "wasted" are hard to swallow, but think of it as more of a learning experience; move on. If I was in your shoes, my heart would ache, but I wouldn't seek revenge. He can ruin your life in a number of ways; not just by those photos and that's what he meant when he said he would. Leave it be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 My vote goes to, give him enough rope and he'll hang himself. With that said, you're better off by not stooping to his level, while at the same time maintaining your self-respect. You definitely dodged a bullet, yet you'll still land on your feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 This is just so hard to take. Just last week he was planning for our future and telling me that he will always love me. Why do people do this? Why can't they just break up with someone and tell them it wasn't working for them anymore? People fall out of love and I understand that. But the way he dismissed me was just so wrong and so painful. I wouldn't contact the other woman because I wouldn't wish anyone to feel what I'm feeling right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaredTheGhost Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 You dodged a bullet. Do not let something like this depreciate your value to yourself or make you fall into a depressive slump, because these things happen and there is no better revenge than to come out of it looking unscathed. You made the right judgement call about not going to his other women, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PICCOLLO Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Thats terrible. My heart goes out to you. Like most, my first instinct would be revenge but its better you focus on yourself right now. Most guys like this eventually get caught as they cant help themselves. Its better it came to an end than being in the dark for months or even years longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 The girl must be something really special for him to protect her and me to just toss around like a used tissue paper. I just feel so low right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 You're doing this to yourself by inventing a competition in your mind. He cheated that means he gets off on the deception and playing both women etc. Mostly like she found out and gave him an ultimatum, but he'll do it again. She got this cheating loser and you are free to find someone better. In the future don't get or stay in involved in LDRs if they are clearly not going anywhere. Most people would prefer to date locally..The girl must be something really special for him to protect her and me to just toss around like a used tissue paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 Thank you. You are probably correct on all counts. I just dont know how I can recover from this. I can't even tell my close friends what really happened because it's so embarrassing and demeaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 He's the idiot, not you. He carried on a deception and cheated. No tarnish on you for his slimy actions. Be forthcoming with your friends and love ones that you ended it when you discovered you were betrayed. You'll recover, in time you'll see that you dodged a bullet. It will take time to process the shock and then heal, but you will.I can't even tell my close friends what really happened because it's so embarrassing and demeaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy14 Posted December 24, 2016 Author Share Posted December 24, 2016 Despite of what he did to me, I still miss him and love him. I wish I don't feel anything anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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