UPDATE

[esboogie143]

For thos of u who doesnt know the history u can read my last couple of posts...

 

He had called my job and left a message laughing and saying how he got all my emails (I had emailed him every email he sent me with the subject being F U LIAR! He said that he didnt even read them he just deleted them. He also said that he had to lie to me to make me stop calling him!!! But whatever...i will not call him again whether it was a lie or not!!! Then he has the audacity to say i'll talk to u later...like a wise a**!!! HE also said that he was at his job abusing me to his boy. Honestly...i just quickly deleted the message and the email which he wrote exactly what he said!! I just want nothing to do with him!

[arwen]

Oh,

 

I think the no contact rule is really a good one to avoid these kind of things. Good thing you deleted everything! Are there more things you can delete? I deleted a lot of things on my pc and even burned one picture once, just for the sake of it. It's a good way of letting the anger out, and of letting go.

 

Delete his number from your cell. That way you will not end up calling him when you had a drink. His name is just filling up valuable memory on your chip

 

You will be ok girl, just really really make the possibilities for contact as little as possible.

 

Ilse.

[Beec]

Come on esboogie. Why are you bothering to send him emails? What purpose could they serve? Stop this stuff. Just leave him alone. It will be much better for you.

[esboogie143]

Thanks for the replies- I must say first to Ilse that I cant delete his numbers it wouldnt do anything...if and only if i wanted to call (which i wont i would just manually dial it rather than scrolling through my phone,,,but i hear ya girl U R RIGHT!!!I will slowly but surely omit him from my life.

 

Beec- I know that was a bad move of me to do that ..but i was sooo angry that i just fwded his own messages back to him with that reply that was stated. IThats it for me...im empty now its the perfect time to start accepting the fact that we will never be as one again!! I will be ther slowly but surely even if im dragging and forcing myself to that point of relief of just having to let go!! Thanks again all.. comments are greatly appreciated!!!

[annie24]

Oh honey - I know that you're angry. I know you're upset. But honestly, every time you do something like this, this guy just says to himself, "What did I ever see in her?" Delete every trace of his phone number. Call your telephone company and tell them to not let you call his numbers anymore.

 

Honestly.... your behavior is now starting to verge on stalking. He's told you to stop contacting him, and you continue. I live in the US, and I recently got the police to issue "Stalking Papers" to a man that was doing this to me. (And actually - he did a lot less to me than what you're doing to this guy.) Stalking papers are just basically one step down from a Restraining Order. I think if you don't stop this soon, the same will happen to you.

 

I think you should start seeing a therapist who can help you work out this anger in a healthy fashion. I really hope you get better.

[annie24]

I will slowly but surely omit him from my life.

 

No! Not slowly! Everything - right now. Burn it all! Photos, love letters, gifts, movie stubs from your first date. EVERYTHING!!! Clean break. No more of this nonsense.

[Mun]

Wow girl,

One thing that just jumped at me from your post is how childish all this is. I remember you saying you are older, but even then this is a 21 yr old man!! Come on... you will do so much better once you get away from him.

 

He is not respecting you, calling your job.. what the heck. He should know better than that. I suggest you find strength from somewhere girl and count your lucky stars that you did not end up with him. He sounds like a very hurtful person...and I hate to say this but you might be making this worst by your reactions. I know how you feel and I know what you going through, but it's time to step back and leave the man alone. Once you realize that you do deserve better, you will regret giving him so much of your time.

[katiekate1982]

Hey Es!!

 

I must agree with some of the others this isn't healthy and is a bit childish, but i'm sure you know that now, and what is done is done. Move on and don't play any more of these games!! Just don't stoop to his level, not matter how much it affects you. TRY to be the bigger person. Don't let him take away you dignity and respect for yourself!!

 

Hang in there!!

 

Katie

[lady00]

this guy is a total jerk! did you tell him to stop calling u? definitely do not contact him again and hopefully he will leave you alone...if not, you can get the authorities involved. this guy sounds incredibly verbally/emotionally abusive.

[chai714]

The more civil you make things from here, the better off you'll be psychologically. You don't want to take things any further than they've already gone. Walk away now and salvage any pride you have left. The recent events that have taken place amount to immaturity and insecurity - neither of which you want associated with you.

 

You can still come up on top if you walk away for now. It is your choice though - you will do what you will do.

[HeavenLee]

Okay esboogie, you made a mistake with the emails and we both know it. It was a set back, but now that you know better and you feel like doing something similar again, remind yourself of how you feel now, take some time and realise that you don't need to do this. It's not benefitting you at all, and is only reinforcing his decision to him.

 

I think you have to look at why you felt the need to send him these emails. My guess? You seem to be struggling with no contact, and by sending them you not only released anger, but you also knew that you would provoke some sort of reaction from him. And when someone has cut you out like he has, a reaction whether good or bad, makes us feel better and makes us feel like we are still remembered by that person. But again, it's not helping you. And you are really letting yourself down. You don't NEED him. You don't need to be with someone who doesn't love you. You can be happy again. But it's all up to you and the choices you make. And I agree with the others that you should not drag yourself down to his level. Grab a hold of your self respect and dignity, hold your head high, and walk away gracefully. It will make yourself feel better about you and how you handled the situation. And when, one day when you've moved on, you won't have to look back and cringe too much at how you behaved.

 

So, now it's time to go into no contact and maintain it with everything you have. Do nothing that will provoke any sort of contact with him, or give him any opportunity or reason. Just leave it and give yourself a chance to heal on your own. Let it go and find some inner peace. You know that you are better off. He was only hurting you more and more... and you don't want a miserable life like that do you? And even if you did, he doesn't, and you can't change that. It's hard, but you have to accept it.

 

Keep working at it esboogie. I have faith that you'll get there. Maybe slowly, but you will. Try not to have anymore set backs. Set your mind to finding something better, and don't accept any less. Realise that you were the better person and that he really doesn't deserve to be with you. But there is a good guy out there who does... so go find him when you have healed enough.